Jump to content

broke no contact, now broken hearted again and back to square 1, help me plz


While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!

Recommended Posts

Posted

It was my exs birthday last week, and i posted on here to ask wether or not i should send anything like a card, through to her (we broke up beginning of sept), everybody advised me not to so i didnt, she wasnt in work for the week so i left it at that. when i got into work yesterday though i thought it cant hurt so i sent her a message just simply saying happy birthday hope ur ok, so she mailed back thanks, so like a fool i invited her and her daughter up for a cuppa, so she arrives at about 5ish last night.

 

Everything started off great, and we had a cuppa and a chat but then it turns around to us, so i ask her about her new fella and she tells me shes in love with him and hes in love with her, i said so soon (only three weeks ago she was up my house telling me she was just using him to get over me) she said yea he treats me right, so we carry on chatting and she went to say something but paused, so i asked her to tell me what shes going to say, then she says,

 

I went to a wedding with him on sat had my hair done like i used to with you but it looked better this time and we stayed the night in the hotel, we dwindled from kissing into making love and right in the middle he told me he loved me, IT WAS LUSH!!! Now im usally such a strong man but as you can imagine hearing this was a complete bombshell.

 

So what do i do, i just broke down and poured my heart out to her, telling her i love her and i cant survive without her, i know this is wrong but i just couldnt help myself, she says to me if you were like this when we were together then wed still be together, so i kept on telling her but in the end she said dont nag me,

 

She said this is the last time her daughter is coming up because its not fair on her or me to see her, then she starts to cry,so im standing by the door to wave goodbye and i break down tell her to go and walk upstairs, she comes up and then before she goes she gave me a big hug, and im standing there on my doorstep a man of 23 tears rolling down, waving goodbye,

 

One thing before she went though she said i was thinking about you last week and was going to text u but didnt, (bcoz of no contact on my behalf she prob wonderd wat i was doin?) and she came up like a shot last nite, so i feel stupid now like i should have stayed with no contact, but then i doubt she would have come back anyway,

 

What do you do when your ex who you still love although shes cut you out and moved on in weeks, (we were engaged, together years, went through so much) says something like that to you, the first thing you want to do is die, but i must be strong i just dont know what to do now because ive got it spinning around in my head constantly

 

So plz guys youve helped me so much, its been 3 months, shes in love with someone else, and i thought i was doin so well, now i feel like i did 3 months ago complete s**t, and back to square 1, plz i really dont know wat to do plz help me, thanks buddys

 

A. :(

Posted

Oh my word I feel for you I really do - sounds like you're kinda where I am now! I'm 3 months afterthe split and the guy I was seeing for almost 2 yrs is with the girl I got jealous over ( took him a week after the split to get together with her!?!) I'm hoping to meet up with him because I saw him last Wed and we blanked each other and sent a few snippy messages after... I was very drunk and turned into a gibbering wreck - thank god for friends thats all I can say. I too suspect he is in love witht he new girl - they had 8 months of texting to get to know each other before we split and as he said he never goes out with someone just to pass time. Its all very well saying be strong when you see them but its the hardest thing inthe world you just want to hold them and tell them that you still love them - its a natural reaction! All the good stuff comes flooding back and you just want it to be like that again more than ever. I'm hoping to get a lot of stuff of my chest when I meet him next week and leave it friendly - but it always seems to be us giving away our energy about it all! If they can fall out of love with us so quickly who's to say they're not fooling themselves now - REBOUND is a word I often use to help me but I try to accept he's moved on these days, is not coming back but accept also that I still want him. Although when he was drunk on Wed he was saying that he would 'find it difficult to find that 'bang' again ( he called it that rather than a click!) so that just confused me.

 

I think it was a bit unfair of her to tell you all that stuff to be honest and am surprised she's keen to see you if she's so in love with the other guy. But sometimes realising that they ain't coming back is a 'cruel to be kind' way of getting you to move on yourself - hurts like hell though! When I was drunk last Wed I was apparently tellin people he'd moved on so fast and that he couldn't care and he said 'you don't know how wrong you are' - yet he's seeing someone else and bearly keeps in contact!! I think we think they are ok after the split but really they are pretty confused at times too.

 

Best thing you can do right now is to steer clear - unless you have anything else you want to get off your chest - and start concentrating on you. After a couple of days of hell - I have pulled myself back from square one to the 50% I was at ( I hope thats not because I'm gonna meet with him although just looking at him hurts like hell)

 

If she's gonna tell you stuff like that best to steer clear - surely she knew this would hurt you?! Just think to hell with it all... you need to blot her out again and regain your strength - I usede to drive myself demented thinking what he and his new girl were getting up to ... you have to stop it, don't dwell on it!! You're 23 - get yourself out and about with your mates ( it may well feel like the last place you want to be but it'll take your mind off things for a while - and who knows what can happen)

 

Sorry if this message is a little garbled but I think its as confused as I am... hope you can take something from it. I'm trying just not to think about him at the mo(and hopefully the meeting will help me regain some peace of mind if I don't cry - its amazing that I seem so emotional since the split but everyday you get a bit stronger!) I've been chatting to other guys and trying to enjoy nights out again - so hard not to compare everyone with him though - prob not a time to jump into a relationship but have a bit of fun and get a grip of yourself again!

 

Hope you get your sanity back soon - took me a few days to find equilibrium again after my break down on Wed although I was lucky it wasn't in front of him! All the best just keep busy and keep venting on here! You will get through this - if she's gonna ever come back it will be in her own sweet time but in the meantime don't think about it and certainly don't expect it... just work on YOU! I've taken up yoga.... give yourself something else to concentrate on! I've never met anyone I loved so deeply as my ex and thought was the one but everyone keeps saying 'whats for you will not go by you' so right now I'm trying my damndest to go with the flow - take each day at a time. Maybe we won't actually meet up next week... knowing him he'll probably chicken out but I'm not thinking too far ahead as I think thats what got me so hurt in the first place.... small steps and we'll get there!

 

Take care x

×
×
  • Create New...