KentuckyGent Posted October 3, 2013 Posted October 3, 2013 Even though my att account shows exMW's # as being blocked it apparently isn't as she has made contact yet again this time in the form of a video with her and her step granddaughter in it. And I was having a good damn day too. I want to respond but then again I don't. Apparently my last text to her a few weeks ago telling her to look elsewhere for validation fell flat. I'm thinking ignoring it is the way to go.
Goodbye Posted October 3, 2013 Posted October 3, 2013 I agree with you, ignoring is probably the best way to go. I do understand the emotions such contact stirs. Hang in there.
Ruffian1 Posted October 3, 2013 Posted October 3, 2013 She playing with you. *crickets* to her from you. You deserve better, don't forget that. 2
Goodbye Posted October 3, 2013 Posted October 3, 2013 You said in another post she is with someone new. I'm confused, is she not married still? Did she divorce and find someone new or she has a new OM?
Author KentuckyGent Posted October 3, 2013 Author Posted October 3, 2013 Who knows! The video was from their home so I'm guessing she is back with BS. Last conversation, she wasn't divorced, was seeing someone, but still "good friends" with BS and they were going on a business trip together (the own a business together). So yeah it is all confusing. My theory all along has been she got caught with someone (I believe she's a serial cheater), was booted out of the home and just was biding her time until BS caved and allowed her back home. She never was going to leave on her own, they've got too much of a good lifestyle with owning their own grocery stores.
Cali408 Posted October 3, 2013 Posted October 3, 2013 You are not at square one unless you respond. Hit the delete button. Kentucky Gent 1, Manipulating Mean Evil Step Grandmother 0. Just like a soccer game. Protect that lead! How many days no contact? You are that many squares forward. Emotionally, you might have taken a square step back, but sometimes you need to take a step back to leap several forward. This is your moment. Are you ready? Do it! IGNORE HER. And celebrate in a personal victory. Or reply back and be a blubbering emotional mess. Your choice and self respect 4
cif Posted October 3, 2013 Posted October 3, 2013 I cringe at people like this. Such empty souls. It's sad really. Yes, ignore. Keep the negativity out of your life. Kentucky Gent 1, Manipulating Mean Evil Step Grandmother 0. Just like a soccer game. LOL
Cali408 Posted October 3, 2013 Posted October 3, 2013 Worst case scenario and she doesn't leave you alone. Contact her BS. I'm sure he'd love to know his grand daughter is being exploited.
Author KentuckyGent Posted October 3, 2013 Author Posted October 3, 2013 I'm actually feeling more disgust than sadness. It was so obvious. The granddaughter (exMW is only 38 btw) is merely a prop in the video. All about MW.
Owl Posted October 3, 2013 Posted October 3, 2013 I agree with contacting the BS, informing him of her contact attempts with you, and give him the opportunity to deal with it or not from his vantage point. If he tells you that they're seperated/divorcing...thank him and then make your own decisions based on that. If he tells you that they're still together...then you've let him know so he can make his own choice, and can expect him to help 'reign her in'.
Author KentuckyGent Posted October 3, 2013 Author Posted October 3, 2013 If he tells you that they're seperated/divorcing...thank him and then make your own decisions based on that. . Owl, she doesn't want me. She just enjoys ****ing with me and getting an ego boost from time to time.
Owl Posted October 3, 2013 Posted October 3, 2013 Owl, she doesn't want me. She just enjoys ****ing with me and getting an ego boost from time to time. Then bust her bubble by outing her to her BS. when you do...send them a joint email asking him to keep his trash in his own yard. 4
jlola Posted October 3, 2013 Posted October 3, 2013 Ahh, The famous "Hoover maneuver" How to Recognize it and Move Forward The Hoover maneuver is named after the famous vacuum cleaner. It describes behavior common among [abusers]. It occurs most often when a victim threatens to leave, or actually leaves, a relationship. The intent of the hoover is to get the victim back into the relationship. Since abusers know which ’buttons or triggers’ to push in their partners, and since victim’s are such dedicated and compassionate people, it is far too often successful. Those with the disorder use all kings of behaviors to ’suck you back into’ the relationship. This can include through kindness, guilt, apologies, tears, threats of suicide, protestations of eternal love, the list is endless. For instance: "I’ve NEVER loved anyone the way I love you. No one has ever been as good to me as you are." etc. (Remember, the abuser knows all your vulnerabilities, and knows how to use them for their purposes and to meet their needs, not yours. It is always about them, and never about you. Except when it’s ’your fault’.) During a typical hoovering your abuser reverts to the way they were when you were courting. They may act in loving kind ways, swear he/she will get help, says, promises, vows, that s/he won’t do a particular abusive behavior again, will really change this time. When the victim believes the hoover and re-enters the relationship, this is referred to as having "been hoovered" . It is important to note that the promises of change won’t last. 2
Cali408 Posted October 3, 2013 Posted October 3, 2013 Professor JLola, teaching class daily. Awesome stuff.
Goodbye Posted October 3, 2013 Posted October 3, 2013 Then bust her bubble by outing her to her BS. when you do...send them a joint email asking him to keep his trash in his own yard. If she is a serial cheater, isn't it likely that BS knows the "deal"? Not sure that would do much. Ignore. It is sad that she'd use a grandchild (and yikes she is young to be a grandmother) as a pawn to get your attention. 1
whichwayisup Posted October 3, 2013 Posted October 3, 2013 Owl, she doesn't want me. She just enjoys ****ing with me and getting an ego boost from time to time. On board with Owl. Tell her H what has happened. Maybe it's time for you to change your cell number. Or talk to your phone company and double check on how to totally block someone from calling, texting, sending you videos. Change your email address too!
Author KentuckyGent Posted October 3, 2013 Author Posted October 3, 2013 If she is a serial cheater, isn't it likely that BS knows the "deal"? Not sure that would do much. Ignore. It is sad that she'd use a grandchild (and yikes she is young to be a grandmother) as a pawn to get your attention. She's done that many times. In fact, after 2 months NC she called to tell me I had to see the latest video of "how big the baby's gotten." This was her introduction after months NC. Never mind she had known that I went in a month prior for my 6 month check-up after cancer. Nothing then! Never even offered a word of encouragement.
Owl Posted October 3, 2013 Posted October 3, 2013 If she is a serial cheater, isn't it likely that BS knows the "deal"? Not sure that would do much. Ignore. It is sad that she'd use a grandchild (and yikes she is young to be a grandmother) as a pawn to get your attention. Maybe, maybe not. Telling him won't cost KG anything either way. But it's a good bet that it WILL end the contact attempts. 2
trailrunner1975 Posted October 3, 2013 Posted October 3, 2013 Ignore the hell out of her. It's all a game and there will likely be more to come. Just stand your ground with your NC pledge. ANY response will not help things. She is showing her true colors and be glad you can walk away.
whichwayisup Posted October 3, 2013 Posted October 3, 2013 She's done that many times. In fact, after 2 months NC she called to tell me I had to see the latest video of "how big the baby's gotten." This was her introduction after months NC. Never mind she had known that I went in a month prior for my 6 month check-up after cancer. Nothing then! Never even offered a word of encouragement. Just shows what a selfish person she is. Instead of getting crushed and feeling hurt, GET MAD and in your head give her the big ol' F-U and MAKE yourself get over her. Learn NOT to care. Brush it off and live your life. Stop giving her the power to ruin your day. 2
Goodbye Posted October 3, 2013 Posted October 3, 2013 She's done that many times. In fact, after 2 months NC she called to tell me I had to see the latest video of "how big the baby's gotten." This was her introduction after months NC. Never mind she had known that I went in a month prior for my 6 month check-up after cancer. Nothing then! Never even offered a word of encouragement. I'm sorry KG. That is really sad. 2
Author KentuckyGent Posted October 3, 2013 Author Posted October 3, 2013 People are props to her. And yes I am more mad than sad. I wont give her the satisfaction of responding. That much is clear. Right now, she disgusts me. 2
BruisedBNBroken Posted October 3, 2013 Posted October 3, 2013 KG: stay strong! You are NOT back to square one. Go back and read your posts from a few weeks ago where you were not strong enough to just delete and you actually answered the phone. You've already moved forward from there by blocking. So no square one at all!! Be proud. Be strong. And keep ignoring. Now only if I can follow my own advise. Sigh . . 1
Author KentuckyGent Posted October 3, 2013 Author Posted October 3, 2013 I intend to. Working on a big project for work and trying not to let her little stunt interfere with my focus. I'm not doing a great job at it. 1
AlwaysGrowing Posted October 3, 2013 Posted October 3, 2013 Well done KG You recognize your "role" in the relationship, and no are no longer a willing participant. Its funny, that with a few steps back you see how pathetic and needy MW was/is. Its no longer cute, its actually irritating. FTR, you have lost no ground whatsoever.
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