trin250 Posted October 3, 2013 Posted October 3, 2013 So I started seeing this guy about a month ago. Everything has been (and still is going great) but I guess my insecurities are getting the better of me and I'm starting to question our relationship. We've been exclusive since the beginning and official for about 2 weeks (btw, does this seem a bit fast? I'm comfortable with how our relationship is moving but my friends thought it was fast!) So my guy's ex was cheating on him for a better part of their 8 month+ relationship, which he ended like a month before meeting me. I'm kinda worried that I am a rebound because of the pace that our relationship moved. I've read those articles on how to know if you're in a rebound relationship and none of the red flags are there except for the moving fast part. Does it seem normal for a guy to come out of a longish relationship, be single for a month and then start a serious relationship again? Or does it seem reboundish?
CarrieT Posted October 3, 2013 Posted October 3, 2013 Infidelity + Exclusivity after only two weeks = Rebound Effect. No question. I take you've already had sex in this short time?
Author trin250 Posted October 3, 2013 Author Posted October 3, 2013 I think you've misunderstood. The cheating happened like in March. He only just broke up with her in the beginning of August. I've been seeing him since the beginning of September exclusively and we've been fb official (if that means anything) for 2 weeks. Thanks for the reply!
mammasita Posted October 3, 2013 Posted October 3, 2013 Well, you said he was single for a month - I think its a tad reboundish. How old are you both?
Author trin250 Posted October 3, 2013 Author Posted October 3, 2013 23 (me) and 27, thanks for the reply!
Author trin250 Posted October 3, 2013 Author Posted October 3, 2013 Btw, I only just found out this whole timeline thing. Like I said, I felt no red flags, but now I'm feeling a bit insecure knowing that he was with his ex just 2 months ago!
giblesp Posted October 3, 2013 Posted October 3, 2013 He probably hasn't processed the pain of being cheated on yet. All you've got to do is not do what his ex did, when he sees that over time he'll relax into you more. You could ask him directly how he feels about his ex. If you want to move into a full blown relationship, you'll probably want to know that you're the only one in his mind.
CarrieT Posted October 3, 2013 Posted October 3, 2013 You didn't answer the sex part of the question. You've only been seeing him for about two weeks; how quickly did you guys become intimate as well as exclusive?
Author trin250 Posted October 3, 2013 Author Posted October 3, 2013 CarrieT, please read my posts. I've been seeing him for a month! And yes we've had sex. Exclusive since the beginning, he told me he doesn't multidate (and neither do I) and we had sex for the first time 2 weeks ago(since becoming official). Thanks for the replies guys, I'll take your advice giplesp and ask him about his ex. I just didn't know if it was too soon to bring that up.
Phantom888 Posted October 3, 2013 Posted October 3, 2013 Yes is reboundish, but doesn't mean it can't develop into something serious and long term. You are appealing to him in the beginning based on the rebound effect, but in a few months if you are in fact what he is looking for, then the relationship will grow and stay strong. It's almost like ordering from a catalog. You like it at first because it looks good on the catalog. When you finally receive it, you will realize if it's what you need, at which point you will either keep it or return it. It's a gamble to date someone on a rebound. 1
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