jennaf Posted October 3, 2013 Posted October 3, 2013 Four months ago my ex broke up with me, telling me he didn't love me anymore. This came as a huge shock as our relationship seemed great from my perspective. It also didn't make much sense, since after the initial post-breakup awkwardness he continued to act very caring towards me. I was heartbroken and asked to get back together several times for about three months before finally having a last conversation, during which we both cried, said it was over, and decided to take time apart to heal. A couple days ago (after a month of no contact) I got a call from him asking to come over. When he came over he was in a lot of pain, and when I asked him what was wrong he broke down telling me he had made a huge mistake and that he still loved me, so much that it scared him. He also went on to say that I deserved much better than the way he had treated me. I tried to ask him why, then, he had told me he didn't love me when he broke up with me. He said it was because at the time, he was having doubts and was "unsure." While after the breakup, he always acted like he loved me, he always verbally insisted that he no longer did, kept telling me to move on, and told me there was nothing left to fight for in our relationship. (basically, his behavior never matched his words). After telling me that he'd made a mistake and that he still loves me, he apologized and told me that he wouldn't contact me again, and has gone complete no contact, even going so far as to unfriend me on facebook. I don't know what to think. I love him very much, and I think at this point if I still wanted to get back together I could reach out and eventually we would. However, I'm not sure I should. I want to very badly-- being with him feels so right and he really means so much to me. He is my first love, and always treated me so well during our relationship. However, I also don't know if things would work out... it would take a lot to rebuild any trust, all of my friends/family would be very set against the relationship, and I'd be opening myself up to the possibility of being hurt again. I also don't know if it would be possible to truly forgive him for hurting me so badly... I like to think I could, but I also don't know if it would be something that would hinder us from moving forward.
Fufu Posted October 3, 2013 Posted October 3, 2013 Dear jennaf. Don't date a man who feels this way and act another way or having contradictions in his words to you (proof as below) After telling me that he'd made a mistake and that he still loves me, he apologized and told me that he wouldn't contact me again, and has gone complete no contact, even going so far as to unfriend me on facebook. I understand first love is hard to let go and hurts a lot. However, you don't have to continue this pain for life. You love him, but does he reciprocate? He treated well during the relationship but still calls in an end. Doesn't sound right to me based on your story.
r321148 Posted October 3, 2013 Posted October 3, 2013 I'm guessing as this was your first love that you are both quite young? Is this the first time he's acted like this? If so then people of any age can get confused sometimes it's just more common at the age in your life when everything is changing. Have been there myself. If you really care for him then in time you will find it in your heart to forgive him. This won't happen straight away of course so you need to take it slow for a while. Sometimes it is worth taking the risk. You may get hurt again but wounds do heal. In my mind it's worth the risk for someone who truly makes you happy. Really it's up to you. You know him best: If you can give him the benefit of the doubt and put it down to a moment of confusion on his part then give it a go. If you think it's a deeper set problem and is likely to happen again and again (or if this isn't the first time it's happened) then cut your losses. Best of luck!
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