lillybear1 Posted October 3, 2013 Posted October 3, 2013 Hey! Thanks for reading! So, I'm 20 and I've never had a real kiss. I mean, I've had a drunken kiss and a typical first kiss in middle school, but I hardly think those count. I guess that may be a little different, but I've never really made time for that in my life. I've always told that boys should be the last thing I worry about until I am graduated and making good money. So, that's what I've done. But, that's irrelevant. Anyway, I should rephrase to say I've never had a real kiss till this weekend. A guy that I really like and have been casually dating for a few months finally made the move. I guess I should be happier, because I like him more than I've ever liked anyone, but I feel like the kiss kind of sucked. I was intoxicated and wasn't expecting it. Then, we tried it again and I'm pretty sure it still sucked. I don't 100% remember, but I think I pulled back. And I don't know. It just wasn't what I thought it would be. He apologized after we had parted ways saying "sorry haha. I suck at this stuff." so maybe it was more him? No idea. But regardless, anyone want to give me some tips to not be nervous/not fail epically. Thanks!
Carenth Posted October 3, 2013 Posted October 3, 2013 If you were pulling back then he probably felt you weren't enjoying it. Hence he comment when you were leaving. Was there anything in particular that you didn't like about it? People do kiss in different ways, my girlfriend is kind of particular about how she likes to kiss.
PogoStick Posted October 3, 2013 Posted October 3, 2013 Maybe you sucked being sloppy drunk, considering you can't even remember.
MalachiX Posted October 3, 2013 Posted October 3, 2013 H I've always told that boys should be the last thing I worry about until I am graduated and making good money. Who told you that?!? Do you have one of them Tiger Mom's (can be any race) who doesn't believe you're allowed to have a social life until you're making 100k a year? Seriously, this statement is kinda worrisome. If you can't worry about boys when you're 20 then when can you? You're not going to have MORE time to date as you get older. You get LESS (trust a 29-year-old) A guy that I really like and have been casually dating for a few months finally made the move. Just curious, why have you been dating him for MONTHS and not kissed? I don't know if I'm even dating someone until I kiss them. I'm not mentioning this to make you feel bad but perhaps your long lack of any sort of physical intimacy may be why you're disappointed or the kiss was lacking.
Author lillybear1 Posted October 3, 2013 Author Posted October 3, 2013 I think it was just....cold lips because it was cold out and neither of us had had anything not alcohol related to drink, so our lips were kinda dry, too. I'm not sure what I didn't like about it. I also had reason to believe that he wasn't ready to kiss yet, so that was why it so greatly took me by surprise. Aka last week when I was at his apt after I left we talked about it and I basically told him that I clarified that I was into him even though I hadn't kissed him yet. He said "I was under the impression that we were just getting super close and getting to know each other really well. Maybe that's my excuse for wimping out and not kissing you, but that's what my head is saying haha." So, yeah, DEFINITELY didn't think he was ready. I guess something changed To the next commenter, sloppy drunk is a bit harsh, don't ya think? I remember from that night. The kiss is just a bit blurry. Not really concerned about that part of it because I wasn't drunk enough to even be close to sloppy. But hey, maybe I did suck because of that. Don't know. I will say I would rather him have waited until the next time we hung out when I was sober, but oh well. And yup, exactly. I do have a "tiger mom." She wants me to be self-sufficient, I think, because of her 3 failed marriages. She just worries about me, but yeah, I am definitely discovering since hitting college that I can focus on boys and still do well in school, be self-sufficient, and successful. It's not a one or the other thing. Lastly, when I say "casually dating" I mean just that. We aren't in a relationship; not official. We have simply just been going on dates and hanging out. We know that we are interested in each other, but nothing has been proclaimed as official or exclusive. We hadn't kissed yet because of what I talked about in the first paragraph: he has grandpa pace. I'm cool w/ it though because I do really like him and he did finally make his move, even if it was terrible timing. Any tips to make next time suck less? haha
Lansing Posted October 3, 2013 Posted October 3, 2013 Sounds to me this guy isn't very experienced either.. Just give it time and you guys will probably get used to kissing each other. Having said that, I did end up break up with one girl once because she was WAY too aggressive a kisser. I couldn't figure out how to tell her I was more of a "gentle" type kisser but I guess there were other reasons for the breakup too
Nomad Posted October 6, 2013 Posted October 6, 2013 Hey! Thanks for reading! So, I'm 20 and I've never had a real kiss. I mean, I've had a drunken kiss and a typical first kiss in middle school, but I hardly think those count. I guess that may be a little different, but I've never really made time for that in my life. I've always told that boys should be the last thing I worry about until I am graduated and making good money. So, that's what I've done. But, that's irrelevant. Anyway, I should rephrase to say I've never had a real kiss till this weekend. A guy that I really like and have been casually dating for a few months finally made the move. I guess I should be happier, because I like him more than I've ever liked anyone, but I feel like the kiss kind of sucked. I was intoxicated and wasn't expecting it. Then, we tried it again and I'm pretty sure it still sucked. I don't 100% remember, but I think I pulled back. And I don't know. It just wasn't what I thought it would be. He apologized after we had parted ways saying "sorry haha. I suck at this stuff." so maybe it was more him? No idea. But regardless, anyone want to give me some tips to not be nervous/not fail epically. Thanks! You were dating a guy for a few months, and you only just now got around to kissing each other? That is a very long time to date without a kiss. Your situation sounds a bit odd, not least because it's unusual for a 20-something to say she's going to wait until she's graduated (presumably college?) to date. If you wait that long, you are going to find yourself severely behind. You'll basically be a rookie coming into a game that others have already been playing for years.
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