This board is certainly a trigger for people with issues

[Toddbt12y1]

I came here originally for pizza. I was promised something I haven't gotten. I am frankly disappointed.

 

No. I came here to see what other people, outside of myself, family and friends think about my evil ex. Although, I was well aware of what people would say....no different than friends or family.

 

Afterward, after discussion on my cheating ex, I remained on here: Help and gain wisdom as well. Unfortunately, this site does have it's heavy negatives. But, I have enjoyed several people on here...

[acrosstheuniverse]

I think it's most useful when people come on and post about a situation, get input from different posters, and then use those differing opinions to help them to decide how to proceed in their own relationship/life.

 

I find it a little un-useful when I'm reading it often, because it can give a very skewed idea of what relationships are. Without this board I'd just be enjoying my three/four month relationship for what it is, enjoying the pace, and feeling chilled about what the future might bring. When I come here I find myself feeling more anxious about things: whether we're seeing each other enough, whether we should be thinking about moving in together already (we are so not!), whether certain issues are problematic, etc. In short, almost everything can influence my feelings about my relationship in a negative manner because I'm comparing us to the stories of people who are going really fast, know they want to marry someone after two weeks, that kind of thing. And non of the horror stories make me feel lucky in comparison either because after a few months of a relationship you just can't know where it's going to go!

 

I've been reading on and off for about six/seven years and during years-long relationships and while I'm dating around freely etc, and I find it fascinating because I'm very interested in relationship psychology, helping people with their issues etc. but even though I'm not a person that suffers from anxiety very often, this board does often make me feel less happy with my relationships than I would if I weren't constantly reading about the details of other peoples'.

 

I enjoy it though because I still find it interesting and then occasionally go months without visiting at all. It's a boredom killer.

[emva07]

I guess I don't get caught up in thinking it's people complaining. I read it, post or don't post and carry on with my life. There is a lot of ugly out there, just glad I don't have to deal with it. We are still young, who knows what messed up **** we will see from now until the day we die, these stories are just some of the possibilities.

 

I don't let these stories make me have a negative view on life. If I ever come across these issues in my relationship, I will deal with them when they happen but not worry and be paranoid based on the people on LS who know their partner is an ******* yet refuse to leave. I will enjoy my relationship to its full potential until there is reason to worry.

 

Yes, a lot of threads are "wtf" worthy, esp when you come across the 20th thread of "why am I still single?" or "why do women like the bad boys and not me?" or "should I leave my bf? he was making out with my best friend but he says it's not cheating and I want to make it work" and I"m like "goodness gracious, stop throwing yourself a pity party and live life! That negativity is what's keeping you single!" "staying with a cheater is what's making you miserable". Sure most of the time I don't post this, I just move on a to a thread that I can give substantial advice in.

 

Then we have the posters who give extreme advice and go in with their guns blazing, attacking everyone who opposes their view as if they lived in the same house as OP to know that they are right versus the other 50 posts on a thread. I think some people just like to play devil's advocate and that is where we see those ridiculous posts. Some people....well what can I say, they are very negative, but on the other side we have posters who are way to possitive and naive. I'd say most people on here though, are a happy medium.....they are more realistic. We have it all here! We all have our views, and will find some posts as ridiculous, but some people will attack you as if they knew you personally, calm down people, we don't know each other and are basing this person's personality on a series of posts.

 

Miss jaclynrae I don't want you to think I was attacking you, on the contrary I enjoy most of your posts and are one of the posters that I like the most on here. You are a very positive person and I admire that. I was cheated on in my previous relationship but in no way does that mean that I hate men, or think all men are the same, on the contrary I am excited I left that loser behind and can move forward to find the man of my dreams. I am a positive person as well but if someone posts about a situation where they are seeing a guy who only txts once in a blue moon, my opinion will be "he's not that into you"

 

no hard feelings against anyone. I love everyone and respect all opinions (though a couple make me thing, is this person for real? But hey, to each their own)

[Mrlonelyone]

LS is a good place to ask for an ADULT perspective on a relationship from someone who isn't trying to sell you a book or program etc.

 

 

Other places are really just fronts for trying to sell you something. Other places are where <20 year olds ask immature questions and give eachother bad immature advice. If you are over 25 or 30 an ask for advice in such places the answer is "If you were any good you would be happily married by now". LS'ers know better.

 

 

Last but not least, for me, it is a good place to get a sanity check. See if my interpretation of events is at least sensible. I also like to pose hypotheticals and make general observations about dating, life, and relationships.

[fujidabruin]

Going thru the many posts here reminds me why I love this site. We all come here for so many different reasons and LS can accommodate such a variety. The spectrum is wide, so I think clashes are inevitable. It can be hard not to be "sucked into the vortex of taking sides" as I have done on occasion. Have to admit it really bugs me when some of the empowering members here are attacked for their opinion when it is clear that they are trying to be supportive.

 

Personally, i feel that it is very important to be accepting of all viewpoints..... does not mean you have to like or show acknowledgement to all, but denying or totally discounting some of them will have its own consequences. Like or dislike, agree or disagree, right or wrong... I hope to be empowered by all of it. Whether I am happy or sad, confident or doubtful, looking to support or be supported, or just simply looking to be entertained... I find LS to be a great alternative to communicating with my loved ones.

 

So, even though the wide range of opinions can trigger conflicts here, I still contend that the objectivity and convenience of LS provides something that may not be available through your family, friends, lovers, or support groups. Just have to take some of it "with a grain of salt".

 

Thanks for posting this OP

[mario_C]

Sometimes this site can be home to a trainwreck or two, no doubt. And there are some sections and subjects I will not go near. This is when I remind myself why I came here in the first place...because some people did make me feel welcome and showed me real insight and hope. So I hope to be able to remind myself of that for a little while, at least.

You know, like a relationship.

[tlegend]

This site has provided countless situations in which I can compare my own trials and tribulations to. Although the advice is sometimes skewed and delivered in a biased fashion (you usually only ever hear 1 side of the story), this site has helped me throughout the years. I still find myself perusing through information every so often, and as of late, trying to give advice to those who seem like they truly need it.