Woggle Posted October 3, 2013 Posted October 3, 2013 I have been away from LS for a week doing various things and I must say that during that week it was like my brain refocused itself to a healthier way of seeing things. I guess a board like this tends to attract people who have issues with dating or issues with the opposite gender or whatever but people who successfully make relationships work don't tend to seek a relationship forum. 6
soccerrprp Posted October 3, 2013 Posted October 3, 2013 I have been away from LS for a week doing various things and I must say that during that week it was like my brain refocused itself to a healthier way of seeing things. I guess a board like this tends to attract people who have issues with dating or issues with the opposite gender or whatever but people who successfully make relationships work don't tend to seek a relationship forum. I am dating successfully, but come back to glean wisdom, help where I can. Share. I don't think I've started more than 5 threads since I've been on LS. So, it's not only about people who have problems and issues. There are a few that I am aware of who are happily in relationships but choose to serve as sounding boards and resources to others.... And, of course LS attracts such people. That's the whole reason for it's existence. A resource, an online community of people looking for love and trying to figure it all out. 10
Carenth Posted October 3, 2013 Posted October 3, 2013 I tend to agree I came looking for people in similar situations to myself I'm in a long distance relationship and it's the first time I had been in a relationship like this. However that part of my relationship is coming to an end (finally) as I will be moving to be with her next month. There seems to be many very unhappy people on LS with a large variety of issues and hang ups with the opposite sex mostly. It can be kind of depressing reading some of it especially the stuff that just upright brands the opposite sex as something evil with a broad brush. I don't know really. I hang around to try and give advice from my own life where I can and point out when people are being ridiculous. I haven't really had many issues dating to be honest. 1
Grumpybutfun Posted October 3, 2013 Posted October 3, 2013 Woggle: I have a very successful marriage, and am very healthy/happy with my relationships, my family, my job and my life. I was originally drawn here because of the Spirituality thread, but started reading others when I am waiting at offices, or waiting on a conference call. I do a lot of traveling and waiting at airports and train stations. Though there are some trolls and some who are bitter, there are others who are really trying to better their lives here. A good resource for others is to talk to people who have been through similar circumstances....which is what this community is. Grumps 6
PogoStick Posted October 3, 2013 Posted October 3, 2013 I come so you may drink from my fountain of wisdom. 2
Leigh 87 Posted October 3, 2013 Posted October 3, 2013 This site is priceless though, to especially women out there who bother with guys who are clearly not into them and are giving them the run about. Seriously. Some people genuinely do not know the signs of blatant disinterest of the opposite sex. People need to be told. And perhaps come back and have us say " we told you so", for them to realise the way life and dating work.... I am generally a very positive person, so I do not let the " all guys are Aholes" crew get me down, as I KNOW there are plenty of nice guys out there. In the same vein though, it IS also helpful to read more about how not everything is what it seems, and therefore it is of utmost importance to have a full life, so as to avoid becoming to dependant on your dating life to work out all the time. Sh*t happens. It is good to read about the red flags and potential downfalls of dating that happen and break hearts, while at the same time keeping a positive outlook. The rubbish I ignore is: " girls want the top 20% of men look wise" or " lets talk about leagues" threads.... Any men or woman bashing threads are also counterproductive and only serve to further fuel men and women on here who have unhealthy mindsets. 2
crederer Posted October 3, 2013 Posted October 3, 2013 i have to admit, a lot of times this board makes me feel worse, but it's addicting, dammit! 2
cif Posted October 3, 2013 Posted October 3, 2013 Right. If we didn't have issues we wouldn't be here.
Leigh 87 Posted October 3, 2013 Posted October 3, 2013 Haha. Seriously. I wouldn't have had a clue about whether or not a guy is interested in me, if I never came here. It is very much thanks to the people on love Shack that I now go for seemingly nice guys who show signs of real interest in me. Some of us need to be pointed in the right direction.
Grumpybutfun Posted October 3, 2013 Posted October 3, 2013 Haha. Seriously. I wouldn't have had a clue about whether or not a guy is interested in me, if I never came here. It is very much thanks to the people on love Shack that I now go for seemingly nice guys who show signs of real interest in me. Some of us need to be pointed in the right direction. Leigh: Knowledge is a powerful tool in living a life without drama. I admire that you are actually taking the time to not only read about other's experiences, but to learn from them. Grumps
Bubberfly Posted October 3, 2013 Posted October 3, 2013 I'm currently going through a rough break up. I spent a few crazy nights of fighting feeling very confused. Wondering if I myself was crazy or horrible or... I've found this forum to be very supportive of my problems, give me honest advice and without criticism. I don't really think of this forum as a trigger. Most people really do have problems and need advice. But, I am still new here.
emva07 Posted October 3, 2013 Posted October 3, 2013 I was drawn here because I had just been through a breakup where I found out some horrible things about my ex and wanted to know why a human being would do this ..... Does that make me ****ed up ? No. I was with a bad person but ditched him once I knew it was trouble. Otherwise I am a healthy human being. I stick around because I was thankful for the advice I got and in the process enjoyed giving others feedback. I have learned a lot about people in general , what makes us tick and how as a human race throughout time , the problems seem to be the same. I see an 18 year old being tricked by someone and I remember what that was like , I see someone posting about self-esteem issues , I remember that too. You name it. I feel good advising people with less life experience. I am glad my mother was that for me. But for many, they don't have that. And as stupid as these problems sound, most of us have been there or will be some day. 3
miss_jaclynrae Posted October 3, 2013 Posted October 3, 2013 I have been away from LS for a week doing various things and I must say that during that week it was like my brain refocused itself to a healthier way of seeing things. I guess a board like this tends to attract people who have issues with dating or issues with the opposite gender or whatever but people who successfully make relationships work don't tend to seek a relationship forum. Totally true. I wish this was more of a relationship forum instead of a relationship advice forum. Not enough happy threads around here. Most people who come on here post about problems, which is why I roll my eyes when people bring up all the BS that goes on here as if it is a representation of society as a whole. Just gotta stay positive, for me, it is an amazing source of entertainment.
MrCastle Posted October 3, 2013 Posted October 3, 2013 This place in small doses, is great therapy. In large doses, you'll need therapy. It is a great place to vent, which is why most come on here. It is no surprise that when people are doing well romantically, they tend to post less, if at all. 4
emva07 Posted October 3, 2013 Posted October 3, 2013 Totally true. I wish this was more of a relationship forum instead of a relationship advice forum. Not enough happy threads around here. Most people who come on here post about problems, which is why I roll my eyes when people bring up all the BS that goes on here as if it is a representation of society as a whole. Just gotta stay positive, for me, it is an amazing source of entertainment. Ok help me understand here.... so when people post about their problems....say a cheating spouse, that's a source of entratainment? How is them trusting us with their story them bringing up the BS that this is a representation of society? I just try not to judge people, because one day we are the happiest people and the next, boom, anything can happen. I am a positive person but I don't find amusement in the agony of others simply because I am happy with my life. 3
miss_jaclynrae Posted October 3, 2013 Posted October 3, 2013 Ok help me understand here.... so when people post about their problems....say a cheating spouse, that's a source of entratainment? How is them trusting us with their story them bringing up the BS that this is a representation of society? I just try not to judge people, because one day we are the happiest people and the next, boom, anything can happen. I am a positive person but I don't find amusement in the agony of others simply because I am happy with my life. Oh sheesh really? Yeah, because I go into the threads about cheating spouses and laugh my ass off. Did you even understand my point? The bolded makes no sense compared to what I said... Get off your high horse, as if there aren't some threads you come across that make you shake your head and wonder WTF?
SJC2008 Posted October 3, 2013 Posted October 3, 2013 Totally true. I wish this was more of a relationship forum instead of a relationship advice forum. Not enough happy threads around here. Most people who come on here post about problems, which is why I roll my eyes when people bring up all the BS that goes on here as if it is a representation of society as a whole. Just gotta stay positive, for me, it is an amazing source of entertainment. I'd beg to argue that it's closer to a representation than further.
miss_jaclynrae Posted October 3, 2013 Posted October 3, 2013 I'd beg to argue that it's closer to a representation than further. I disagree, half the things I hear on here are complete nonsense and brought on by the person seeking advice. Course, then again, I also come on here because it makes me feel normal.
StanMusial Posted October 3, 2013 Posted October 3, 2013 It's like a plane crash on top of a train wreck, then a tanker hauling sewage waste crashed into it, coating the whole pile with dooky, and it all happened in the middle of the zombie apocalypse. You just can't help but look at the spectacle. 1
ltjg45 Posted October 3, 2013 Posted October 3, 2013 I learned something while being on this board: Despite how weird I am IRL, when I come here, I actually feel normal when compared to some members here. And I can't say if that means that I'm not as bad off as I think I am or I really have gone insane for even thinking that.
Els Posted October 3, 2013 Posted October 3, 2013 I actually find that coming here makes me feel very, very, VERY thankful for a lot of things. Kinda like how people realize how truly lucky they are when they take a trip to a poor, undeveloped country. In all seriousness, different people react in different ways to the same thing. Like Castle, I find this place beneficial in small doses... though that's probably because I've learnt to avoid certain threads and have a HUGE ignore list. If you find it pushes your buttons, Woggle, then you should leave. Goodness only knows you don't need MORE triggers. 1
candie13 Posted October 3, 2013 Posted October 3, 2013 Well, not sure if it attracts people with issues in dating or people with issues period . Personally, I come here for a different perspective on dating. I come from Eastern Europe and Western Europe / the US are more similar in their approach / way of thinking. I enjoy the diversity of opinions and treasure the input of some specific posters. Others... not so much , but it's always a fun ride!
lionoftheforum Posted October 3, 2013 Posted October 3, 2013 (edited) Sometimes our minds get stuck and it helps to get a nudge from a stranger who sees things a different way. You'll get that here on LS. These strangers aren’t invested in you; they CAN say hard things a personal friend might avoid saying because the personal friend fears being viewed as unsupportive. It’s these hard truths that a lot of humans naturally avoid. It’s this avoidance that gets a lot of people stuck. Now if you're damaged goods and you blame everyone else for your perceived problems? Nothing can help you if you refuse to take your own thoughts and actions under your own control. All LS can do is point issues out. You need time and a willingness to improve your social skills and stand point in life. Willingness is the key word. Time? Time just takes time; might as well do something different with it rather than using it to sulk, look backwards, and point fingers. Edited October 3, 2013 by lionoftheforum
Ouroboros Posted October 3, 2013 Posted October 3, 2013 I have been away from LS for a week doing various things and I must say that during that week it was like my brain refocused itself to a healthier way of seeing things. I guess a board like this tends to attract people who have issues with dating or issues with the opposite gender or whatever but people who successfully make relationships work don't tend to seek a relationship forum. The difference between these people and those people is they use friends irl to complain instead of relationship forums but the nature of the conversations aren't much different. 1
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