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When women limit the conditions in which she would spend time with a man

irc333

By irc333
in General Relationship Discussion

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irc333 Established Member

irc333

Posted
Posted

Something I've noticed with women.

 

Like I think I may have mentioned how this one woman won't get together with me outside Meetup events, not sure why, but that's how she wants it done.

 

Recently, a female friend I know pretty well through the same events said that a good friend of hers and another male friend (small party of friends) it would make 4.

 

(Note, she has no interest in dating my male friend, he's confirmed that, he thinks of her as a little sister)

 

Anyhow, she mentioend an event, but my male friend thinks he won't be able to make it.

 

This changes things for her, because she'd only go if he's going apparently.

 

I said, "Well, what's stopping us from going then?"

 

She said that she had alternate plans in the works for that day.

 

I don't get it, what's with this flip flopping about making plans, it seems women will only spend time with another man depending on the conditions and who is going to be there.

ForeverHopeful1 Established Member

ForeverHopeful1

Posted
Posted

Women will meet up with men they like but will make excuses with men they are unsure of and would rather go out with others so they arent alone together with a man they dont like

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Radu Established Member

Radu

Posted
Posted

What FH said ...

 

Also, OP, how old are these women and why do you keep meeting them ?

TigerCub Established Member

TigerCub

Posted
Posted
Women will meet up with men they like but will make excuses with men they are unsure of and would rather go out with others so they arent alone together with a man they dont like

 

Thank you!

 

That's pretty much it - it's no mystery really.

 

If a woman is into a man - she'll meet him outside of a meetup gathering.

She'll also most likely prefer meeting him without a bunch of other people around. Women like to have 1 on 1 time with the guy they like.

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irc333 Established Member

irc333

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Posted

Actually, a close friend of hers advised me to just be patient and as it sounds as if she wants to get to know me gradually and not rush anything.

 

Though, I'm not holding my breath and..also willing to date others if that's the case...but I'll occasionally "check in" on her though in case I'm not dating anyone.

 

 

Why can't you understand that all these women who don't get together with you, put you off, don't show interest, make no effort, don't have time, have other plans, have parameters that are unlikely to be met, on, and on, and on …

 

are women who are not interested in YOU?

 

Stop worrying about what it says about them. Those are all just various ways that people use to avoid being blunt.

 

When you connect with a women who's interested in you, all of these things will magically not be there.

 

But you're probably going to have to do somethings a lot differently than you have been doing. I mean … you keep getting the same results. Ever think it might be the way you're going about things?

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irc333 Established Member

irc333

Posted
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Posted
She'll also most likely prefer meeting him without a bunch of other people around.

 

Actually, I have known women to desire to get to know men in a "group" social gathering for at time at first prior to agreeing to getting together outside that group.

 

Some have expressed this form of getting to know someone.

 

I got a male friend that prefers this, because this way, he gets to know whether or not if they are a psycho or not in a group setting.

EasyHeart Established Member

EasyHeart

Posted
Posted

The women are establishing boundaries. They are making sure there is no possibility that you will think they are romantically interested by never being alone with you. The other people are there for protection.

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MissBee Established Member

MissBee

Posted
Posted (edited)
Something I've noticed with women.

 

Like I think I may have mentioned how this one woman won't get together with me outside Meetup events, not sure why, but that's how she wants it done.

 

Recently, a female friend I know pretty well through the same events said that a good friend of hers and another male friend (small party of friends) it would make 4.

 

(Note, she has no interest in dating my male friend, he's confirmed that, he thinks of her as a little sister)

 

Anyhow, she mentioend an event, but my male friend thinks he won't be able to make it.

 

This changes things for her, because she'd only go if he's going apparently.

 

I said, "Well, what's stopping us from going then?"

 

She said that she had alternate plans in the works for that day.

 

I don't get it, what's with this flip flopping about making plans, it seems women will only spend time with another man depending on the conditions and who is going to be there.

 

I'm confused...this one woman did this to you and it's this thing "women" do?

 

She probably isn't into you or isn't comfortable enough with you to spend time with you one on one.

 

I do this...not even with men but with people in general. If I have a good friend or someone I'm comfy around and am invited to an event, and say it's a group of us but I'm not close to the others, I hinge my going often times on if the person I'm most comfortable with is going too. Sometimes I branch out and go alone but generally I like to go with at least one person I'm very comfortable and cool with.

 

If I'm into a guy, I want to go on dates with him...not group dates, but group ones are fine too. I need no other buffers or distractions if I am into him...if I'm not then I'd probably not want it to be just us. I did that once as a teenager lol. A guy invited me to his place to watch movies, I wasn't sure if it was friendly or more so I brought my sister with me.:laugh: If I had been into him, I'd never have done that. A woman who is into you will want to spend time with you alone or in a group...if she is avoiding that she doesn't like you, unless she is extremely religious and requires a chaperon and is scared of being alone with males.

Edited by MissBee
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TigerCub Established Member

TigerCub

Posted
Posted
Actually, I have known women to desire to get to know men in a "group" social gathering for at time at first prior to agreeing to getting together outside that group.

 

Some have expressed this form of getting to know someone.

 

I got a male friend that prefers this, because this way, he gets to know whether or not if they are a psycho or not in a group setting.

 

You always have these 'friends' that somehow prove whatever it is you want to believe.

 

Yes, maybe at first some women prefer to meet a guy in a group setting, but honestly, that's pretty rare - look at all the people that meet through OLD, they do the first date 1on 1.

 

Furthermore, in your case, this woman has already gotten to know in the meetups, so when will it be 'safe' to go out with you on her own.

 

As for the woman's friend - did she happen to tell you to be patient because you asked her about her friend and she most likely didn't want to be the bringer of bad news?

 

I only ask because that's a possibility. I can't imagine her finding you and telling you that if she didn't know that you are questioning it.

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irc333 Established Member

irc333

Posted
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Posted (edited)
unless she is extremely religious and requires a chaperon and is scared of being alone with males.

 

She is Christian, she met my other female friend through a Christian Meetup that put on a seminar at a church and I have known Christian women to use this method of getting to know a guy over a time by using the group setting a few times first before actually going out with him one on one.

 

I mean, it would probably mean us focusing on each other and kind of forget what's going on around us.

 

When she initially met me at the first Meetup and we were about to part ways, she wanted to exchange #'s so I could let her know what future events come up that were for Meetups she wasn't a member of.

 

I thought that was my "in" for getting to know her at possibly the romantic level (or at least come to that).

 

And her friend/my friend told me that even though she can't get into her friend's head, just to be patient and go with the flow and don't push for what she's not quite comfortable with yet. She did agree to have pizza with me and go walking around the downtown area...but for whatever reason she later changed her mind (not sure why).

 

Maybe that's just how she rolls. Something tells me I should at least stay in touch as opposed to cut all contact as others may advise.

 

did she happen to tell you to be patient because you asked her about her friend and she most likely didn't want to be the bringer of bad news?

 

VERY unlikely. (That's the woman of interests job, not the friend of that person, lol)

 

In fact, I figured that'd be a way to get an non-partisan/unbiased perspective.

Edited by irc333
TigerCub Established Member

TigerCub

Posted
Posted

VERY unlikely. (That's the woman of interests job, not the friend of that person, lol)

 

In fact, I figured that'd be a way to get an non-partisan/unbiased perspective.

 

I have no idea what that even means..

TigerCub Established Member

TigerCub

Posted
Posted
She is Christian, she met my other female friend through a Christian Meetup that put on a seminar at a church and I have known Christian women to use this method of getting to know a guy over a time by using the group setting a few times first before actually going out with him one on one.

 

I mean, it would probably mean us focusing on each other and kind of forget what's going on around us.

 

When she initially met me at the first Meetup and we were about to part ways, she wanted to exchange #'s so I could let her know what future events come up that were for Meetups she wasn't a member of.

 

I thought that was my "in" for getting to know her at possibly the romantic level (or at least come to that).

 

And her friend/my friend told me that even though she can't get into her friend's head, just to be patient and go with the flow and don't push for what she's not quite comfortable with yet. She did agree to have pizza with me and go walking around the downtown area...but for whatever reason she later changed her mind (not sure why).

 

Maybe that's just how she rolls. Something tells me I should at least stay in touch as opposed to cut all contact as others may advise.

 

 

 

VERY unlikely. (That's the woman of interests job, not the friend of that person, lol)

 

In fact, I figured that'd be a way to get an non-partisan/unbiased perspective.

 

You just said above that it was her friend/your friend

then you say oh no, it's not the friend of the person.

 

Again, I ask, what made that woman (friend or not) say to you to be patient? Did she just see you and say that for absolutely no reason, or did you mention to her how the lady you want to see doesn't want to go out with you alone?

hppr Established Member

hppr

Posted
Posted
Actually, a close friend of hers advised me to just be patient and as it sounds as if she wants to get to know me gradually and not rush anything.

 

I would never wait around for a woman. They either like you right away or they don't. She obviously isn't into you and is just keeping you around as a backup plan for days when she is bored.

 

Find something fun to do that doesn't involve these toxic, flaky people. You will be happier.

hppr Established Member

hppr

Posted
Posted
Something tells me I should at least stay in touch as opposed to cut all contact as others may advise.

 

Staying in touch is fine but stay in touch with her the same way you might with some male coworker who runs the office football pool. This broad sounds pretty fickle and quite frankly boring so unless she's a knockout in the looks department I've having a hard time figuring out why you are focusing on her.

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irc333 Established Member

irc333

Posted
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Posted
Well, time will tell. If your assessment of this situation is correct, you'll soon be reporting back about your dating adventures with this woman. Good luck.

 

Yeah, I appreciate the insight. Guess it makes for an interesting post

 

"Hey, let's see what IRC did today!" lol j/k

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