Jump to content

I think that men are more open about who they'll date

MomsSpaghetti

By MomsSpaghetti
in General Relationship Discussion

 Share
While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!

Recommended Posts

MomsSpaghetti Established Member

MomsSpaghetti

Posted
Posted

For instance, while it's true in a general sense that men want to be the higher-earning one in the relationship and women want to be the lower-earning one, you'll find a lot more men who are open to dating higher-earning women than you will women open to dating lower-earning men. Another instance of this is height. I'd say that about 1/2 of men are open to dating women taller than themselves, while only 1/20 of women are open to dating men shorter than themselves.

 

Thoughts?

Mascara Established Member

Mascara

Posted
Posted

I'd say most women are open to dating men who are overweight, not obese, but a guy who likes a few beers and wings isnt going to put off most women. Most men, however, prefer slender women. I'd also say most women are pretty easygoing about age, plus or minus a number of years is all good. Whereas most men, apart from their Mrs Robinson phase, insist on a woman who is younger, preferably by several years, and not one bit older than them.

 

In other words, it's all swings and roundabouts.

  • Like 1
candie13 Established Member

candie13

Posted
Posted

The rule is, there's no rule. Slender high earning women get dumped as well as less slender / less earning women. Probably not by the same type of people... but rejection is universal. I mean, even that amazing Sienna Miller got cheated on... with the baby sitter.

 

Really, sh*t happens to everyone, men and women, tall or short, successful or not.

  • Like 3
thefooloftheyear Established Member

thefooloftheyear

Posted
Posted
The rule is, there's no rule. Slender high earning women get dumped as well as less slender / less earning women. Probably not by the same type of people... but rejection is universal. I mean, even that amazing Sienna Miller got cheated on... with the baby sitter.

 

Really, sh*t happens to everyone, men and women, tall or short, successful or not.

 

So did Maria Shriver..with the fat and ugly housemaid...:laugh:

 

TFY

emva07 Established Member

emva07

Posted
Posted
So did Maria Shriver..with the fat and ugly housemaid...:laugh:

 

TFY

 

Princess Diana vs. Camilla.....really Charles?

 

I am deff from the mentality that a cheater is a cheater is a cheater. He may be with Heidi Klum and will cheat on her. So many people get worked up on thinking a cheater cheated because they aren't good enough/sexy enough etc. No, a cheater will cheat on you AND Heidi Klum.

Phoe Established Member

Phoe

Posted
Posted

I've known plenty of intensely picky men. And plenty of women who were not terribly picky at all.

 

I don't think that this is something that can easily be generalized.

  • Like 2
thefooloftheyear Established Member

thefooloftheyear

Posted
Posted
Princess Diana vs. Camilla.....really Charles?

 

I am deff from the mentality that a cheater is a cheater is a cheater. He may be with Heidi Klum and will cheat on her. So many people get worked up on thinking a cheater cheated because they aren't good enough/sexy enough etc. No, a cheater will cheat on you AND Heidi Klum.

 

 

Attraction isnt all about looks..Ive been with some very attractive women...that had absolutely NOTHING but that(looks) to offer

 

What do you do with the other 22 hours in the day??:laugh:

 

TFY

  • Author
MomsSpaghetti Established Member

MomsSpaghetti

Posted
  • Author
Posted
I've known plenty of intensely picky men. And plenty of women who were not terribly picky at all.

 

I don't think that this is something that can easily be generalized.

 

My thread wasn't supposed to be about pickiness, but about willingness to buck the societal norms or go against peer pressure. I thought that the feminist movement and modern liberalism was all about trying to eliminate gender norms, especially the one about men being the taller, more successful one in a relationship. Yet it seems like women still like to conform to this norm. Men are actually the more liberal ones. Most men I talk to would be fine with a "mismatched" relationship where their wife is taller or more financially successful. Or where they're significantly more educated and successful than the woman. Most men who get a Ph.D from an Ivy League school will be fine dating a woman has only a high school education and makes $22k/yr working as a waitress. On the other hand, most women who get a Ph.D from an Ivy League school will not date a guy who has anything less than a Ph.D from an Ivy League school.

pteromom Established Member

pteromom

Posted
Posted
My thread wasn't supposed to be about pickiness, but about willingness to buck the societal norms or go against peer pressure. I thought that the feminist movement and modern liberalism was all about trying to eliminate gender norms, especially the one about men being the taller, more successful one in a relationship.

 

You are comparing apples and oranges.

 

The equivalent of a woman refusing to date a man who is shorter or less successful is a man refusing to date a woman who is older or overweight; NOT refusing to date a woman who is tall or successful.

 

Men and women just have different priorities, but it doesn't mean that men are more open - just different.

Phoe Established Member

Phoe

Posted
Posted
My thread wasn't supposed to be about pickiness, but about willingness to buck the societal norms or go against peer pressure.

 

 

"Pickiness" and "open-ness to who you'll date" are EXACTLY the same thing.

 

 

I simply used an easier word. Or less words. Simplified it.

candie13 Established Member

candie13

Posted
Posted
Men are actually the more liberal ones. Most men I talk to would be fine with a "mismatched" relationship where their wife is taller or more financially successful.

 

Or where they're significantly more educated and successful than the woman. Most men who get a Ph.D from an Ivy League school will be fine dating a woman has only a high school education and makes $22k/yr working as a waitress. On the other hand, most women who get a Ph.D from an Ivy League school will not date a guy who has anything less than a Ph.D from an Ivy League school.

 

these are your won perceptions, not the reality. show me the facts, show me a research that proves that Phd men marry high school women whereas Phd women marry other Phd men.

 

If anything, society is a lot more indulgent towards men being shorter and out of shape compared to women, in the same situation.

 

As to who marries whom, I vote for NO RULE. Every person marries he or she whom he loves. Sometimes that that marriage is based on sexual compatibility, other times on intellectual compatibility, other times on compatible social status. Nothing new under the sun.

 

If indeed, you find a certain gender is more prone towards a certain preference - in this specific case women settling with less successful men, please provide the research and the source of that research.

 

I'm afraid you cannot, because there aren't any to be general for all human kind. And that, my friend, is the danger of generalization.

clia Established Member

clia

Posted
Posted
My thread wasn't supposed to be about pickiness, but about willingness to buck the societal norms or go against peer pressure. I thought that the feminist movement and modern liberalism was all about trying to eliminate gender norms, especially the one about men being the taller, more successful one in a relationship. Yet it seems like women still like to conform to this norm. Men are actually the more liberal ones. Most men I talk to would be fine with a "mismatched" relationship where their wife is taller or more financially successful. Or where they're significantly more educated and successful than the woman. Most men who get a Ph.D from an Ivy League school will be fine dating a woman has only a high school education and makes $22k/yr working as a waitress. On the other hand, most women who get a Ph.D from an Ivy League school will not date a guy who has anything less than a Ph.D from an Ivy League school.

 

The feminist movement has nothing to do with whether or not women want to date short men. Some women do, some women don't. It's called a preference. Surely you have preferences about what types of women you want to date, don't you? There are also plenty of men out there who do not want to date a woman who is taller.

 

I also find it laughable that you think "most" men are totally cool with dating a woman who is more educated than they are and who earns more money. As a financially successful woman, I am here to tell you that has not been my experience. Many men get extremely intimidated by a woman who earns more money than they do or is more educated.

 

And yes, you see more high earning men with low earning women because most men value looks far more than they value education or earning potential. You will rarely see a high earning man with a low earning, ugly woman. Many women, on the other hand, value education and earning potential more than they may value looks. This is why women with high education and high earnings tend to go after men who are the same. (That and the fact that men get intimidated by them.)

thefooloftheyear Established Member

thefooloftheyear

Posted
Posted
My thread wasn't supposed to be about pickiness, but about willingness to buck the societal norms or go against peer pressure. I thought that the feminist movement and modern liberalism was all about trying to eliminate gender norms, especially the one about men being the taller, more successful one in a relationship. Yet it seems like women still like to conform to this norm. Men are actually the more liberal ones. Most men I talk to would be fine with a "mismatched" relationship where their wife is taller or more financially successful. Or where they're significantly more educated and successful than the woman. Most men who get a Ph.D from an Ivy League school will be fine dating a woman has only a high school education and makes $22k/yr working as a waitress. On the other hand, most women who get a Ph.D from an Ivy League school will not date a guy who has anything less than a Ph.D from an Ivy League school.

 

With this statement, you are basically saying men(even intelligent, successful ones) will settle for some broke, limited optioned, dolt of a woman for the sake of sex/companionship? No way...I know I wouldnt. If I cant be with someone who is at least within range of my intellect and ambition, then I won't want it- I really dont care what she looks like...

 

I dont think women are quite as selective as you say, either....I have known some pretty successful, intelligent women with unambitious dopes..If they(women) are the type that are insecure, they won't want a powerful, attractive, and successful guy...So they settle for the idiot that they can lead around on a leash.:rolleyes:

 

TFY

veggirl Established Member

veggirl

Posted
Posted
My thread wasn't supposed to be about pickiness, but about willingness to buck the societal norms or go against peer pressure. I thought that the feminist movement and modern liberalism was all about trying to eliminate gender norms, especially the one about men being the taller, more successful one in a relationship. Yet it seems like women still like to conform to this norm. Men are actually the more liberal ones. Most men I talk to would be fine with a "mismatched" relationship where their wife is taller or more financially successful. Or where they're significantly more educated and successful than the woman. Most men who get a Ph.D from an Ivy League school will be fine dating a woman has only a high school education and makes $22k/yr working as a waitress. On the other hand, most women who get a Ph.D from an Ivy League school will not date a guy who has anything less than a Ph.D from an Ivy League school.

 

yes "most men" are fine with a tall, rich woman. shocker!

are "most men" okay with a chubby woman?

candie13 Established Member

candie13

Posted
Posted
yes "most men" are fine with a tall, rich woman. shocker!

are "most men" okay with a chubby woman?

 

only if she's dead loaded with cash :lmao:

Mascara Established Member

Mascara

Posted
Posted

I look forward to hearing about the fat old woman the OP ends up with. Because he's so evolved and all :p

  • Author
MomsSpaghetti Established Member

MomsSpaghetti

Posted
  • Author
Posted (edited)

I also find it laughable that you think "most" men are totally cool with dating a woman who is more educated than they are and who earns more money. As a financially successful woman, I am here to tell you that has not been my experience. Many men get extremely intimidated by a woman who earns more money than they do or is more educated.

 

:rolleyes:

 

Puh-leeze. We've heard this one a million times.

 

If less financially successful men aren't trying out their luck with you, it's because they assume they don't stand a chance. So yea, they are intimidated a sense, but not in the sense you think they are.

 

Trust me: if you showed interest in less financially successful men, they would be flattered. The reason they don't go after you is because they assume you want guys more financially successful than yourself.

Edited by MomsSpaghetti
veggirl Established Member

veggirl

Posted
Posted
:rolleyes:

 

Puh-leeze. We've heard this one a million times.

 

If less financially successful men aren't trying out their luck with you, it's because they assume they don't stand a chance. So yea, they are intimidated a sense, but not in the sense you think they are.

 

Trust me: if you showed interest in less financially successful men, they would be flattered. The reason they don't go after you is because they assume you want guys more financially successful than yourself.

 

all girls date rich guys!!!

it's why like just now i was posting on a thread about a girl who can't afford to visit her boyfriend because HE doesn't have money to contribute to it!

 

we all have rich boyfriends and it's so awesome. they just buy all the stuff! :cool:

Mascara Established Member

Mascara

Posted
Posted

And they're tall, so they can reach even more stuff on the top shelves.

  • Like 2
clia Established Member

clia

Posted
Posted
:rolleyes:

 

Puh-leeze. We've heard this one a million times.

 

I'm just relaying my real life experiences. This isn't stuff I read about on the Internet. It's my experience.

If less financially successful men aren't trying out their luck with you, it's because they assume they don't stand a chance. So yea, they are intimidated a sense, but not in the sense you think they are.

 

When a man approaches me, he has no idea what degrees I have or how much money I make. I cannot even begin to tell you how many men -- who were acting very happy to talk to me and seemed very interested -- have bolted within a few minutes after I answered their question about what I did for a living or what degree I had. I used to dread getting that question, because for the men it as clearly a dealbreaker -- for them. These were not isolated incidents, either. It happened often.

 

Trust me: if you showed interest in less financially successful men, they would be flattered. The reason they don't go after you is because they assume you want guys more financially successful than yourself.

 

As I said, I've dated guys in the past who made a lot less money than me. I don't anymore. I got tired of having to stroke their ego.

  • Author
MomsSpaghetti Established Member

MomsSpaghetti

Posted
  • Author
Posted

When a man approaches me, he has no idea what degrees I have or how much money I make. I cannot even begin to tell you how many men -- who were acting very happy to talk to me and seemed very interested -- have bolted within a few minutes after I answered their question about what I did for a living or what degree I had. I used to dread getting that question, because for the men it as clearly a dealbreaker -- for them. These were not isolated incidents, either. It happened often.

 

And like I told you, it's because these guys assume that you consider them losers.

pteromom Established Member

pteromom

Posted
Posted
And like I told you, it's because these guys assume that you consider them losers.

 

???

 

So it is their own low self-esteem causing them to run away with their tail between their legs? In that case, it's no big loss.

 

A guy should be confident in what he brings to the table. If he doesn't make much money or have a degree, then he should be confident in his ability to make witty comments, or his sexual skills, or his ability to be romantic, or whatever. Basically, he should own who he is and go out to find a woman who appreciates that.

 

But going up to a woman and running away intimidated if she is in any way "superior" to him isn't going to get him very far.

 

And yes, this goes for women too.

  • Like 2
clia Established Member

clia

Posted
Posted
And like I told you, it's because these guys assume that you consider them losers.

 

So somehow it's my fault that they have low self esteem and don't feel confident?

 

What?

 

How is that me not being open to dating them?

 

(Ha! pteromom beat me to it!)

  • Like 1
thefooloftheyear Established Member

thefooloftheyear

Posted
Posted
I'm just relaying my real life experiences. This isn't stuff I read about on the Internet. It's my experience.

 

 

When a man approaches me, he has no idea what degrees I have or how much money I make. I cannot even begin to tell you how many men -- who were acting very happy to talk to me and seemed very interested -- have bolted within a few minutes after I answered their question about what I did for a living or what degree I had. I used to dread getting that question, because for the men it as clearly a dealbreaker -- for them. These were not isolated incidents, either. It happened often.

 

 

 

As I said, I've dated guys in the past who made a lot less money than me. I don't anymore. I got tired of having to stroke their ego.

 

 

 

I dunno...I get tired of poiniting this out....And I dont know you-so dont assume that I am am referring to you when I say this, Im clearly not...

 

College education(and degrees) mean little to nothing when it comes to real world intellect and ability to navigate a real life...I know several highly degreed individuals(this is true of either gender) who couldnt find their ass with either hand. Conversely, I know many highly intelligent, incredibly successful folks who have little to no college level education...

 

So, I cant see how someone can be intimidated by that ...Maybe just weak men?? *shrug*...

 

TFY

 Share
Go to topic listing
×
×
  • Create New...