jba10582 Posted October 2, 2013 Posted October 2, 2013 I am curious because I keep seeing post about bread crumbs. Please give me your opinion of what this is. What would not be considered a bread crumb?
Mr Scorpio Posted October 2, 2013 Posted October 2, 2013 It feels good to be wanted. A dumper can provide small bits of attention (bread-crumbs) to the dumpee and receive an ego-boost from the subsequent disproportional amount of attention the dumpee gives back. Things that don't qualify as bread-crumbs? Forms of contact that aren't initiated for the sake of receiving attention without the intention of reciprocating. Examples: 1) "just checking-in" contacts that don't refer to the relationship, 2) genuine, full-blown, "I screwed-up please take me back" messages where the dumpee does intend to reform the relationship. 2
JoelBarish Posted October 2, 2013 Posted October 2, 2013 It feels good to be wanted. A dumper can provide small bits of attention (bread-crumbs) to the dumpee and receive an ego-boost from the subsequent disproportional amount of attention the dumpee gives back. Things that don't qualify as bread-crumbs? Forms of contact that aren't initiated for the sake of receiving attention without the intention of reciprocating. Examples: 1) "just checking-in" contacts that don't refer to the relationship, 2) genuine, full-blown, "I screwed-up please take me back" messages where the dumpee does intend to reform the relationship. I would consider bread crumbs any contact from the dumper that may lead to false hope from the dumpee. Examples of breadcrumbs: "Hi" "How are you" "I miss you" "I thought of you today" Breadcrumbs are just scraps of attention from the dumper when you used to get the whole dinner. Some examples of contact that AREN'T breadcrumbs: "I am sorry, I want you back" "I have that money that I owe you" 3
lindsay1990 Posted October 2, 2013 Posted October 2, 2013 More examples "I love you and wish for you only the best". (I know, I'm bitter) 1
Mr Scorpio Posted October 4, 2013 Posted October 4, 2013 I would consider bread crumbs any contact from the dumper that may lead to false hope from the dumpee. Fair enough, assuming that the dumpee is thinking rationally. I know I didn't in the weeks/months after I was dumped. I probably would have extracted false hope from my ex simply saying "hi". That is why I'm a severe advocate of NC.
Mariposa10 Posted October 4, 2013 Posted October 4, 2013 "I love you so much, but that's not enough to have a relationship, RIGHT NOW." "I've missed you." "I'm not gonna choose her over you." WELL, YOU ALREADY DID, SELFISH PRICK!!! "You're the person I want to wake up next to for the rest of my life." (while having sex with another girl." I agree with what someone posted earlier, as long as they don't say they want to give it another try and have a solid plan, it's all bread crumbs.
JoelBarish Posted October 4, 2013 Posted October 4, 2013 Fair enough, assuming that the dumpee is thinking rationally. I know I didn't in the weeks/months after I was dumped. I probably would have extracted false hope from my ex simply saying "hi". That is why I'm a severe advocate of NC. I agree that "hi" is a breadcrumb. Any kind of reaching out on the part of the dumper would give the dumpee false hope, unless there is a genuine reason for the dumper to reach out such as pay a debt or if children are involved. And of course if the dumper truly wants to get back with the dumpee and says so, that would not be breadcrumbs either.
Renard99 Posted October 4, 2013 Posted October 4, 2013 I deem breadcrumbs to be any communication the ex has with you that, in your mind, has no rational reason behind it. For example: Imagine you require your ex's signature and they also owe you money. Any communication that isn't on either these two topics can be considered unnecessary and is therefore just a 'breadcrumb trail' that tempts you to follow it and therefore make contact. My ex did it a few months after we split up. She sent me an MP3 stating 'I've found this new band that you might like, have you found any new bands lately?'. Considering all I needed from her was a signature, which this email didn't mention, this contact was unnecessary and just a breadcrumb to get me to reply.
davidhdl Posted October 4, 2013 Posted October 4, 2013 ex after 2 weeks to the day, recieved a text with just her number was showing, no words in the text. was this somewhat of a bredcrumb.
AnnaAnna Posted October 4, 2013 Posted October 4, 2013 I know all about breadcrumbs unfortunately. I lived of breadcrumbs for a little while until I got tired of it. That's how they keep control of us! I will never allow myself to be treated that way again. 2
Lokie Posted October 4, 2013 Posted October 4, 2013 To me, bread crumbs can also be identified when getting to know someone, especially after you've had sex for the first few times. But maybe I'm getting the term wrong. They may contact you but not for any specific purpose, and with few words. This may be done to keep you hooked and on the back burner for another possible hook up, but not for a full blown relationship. This is why it is a good idea to be in a committed relationship BEFORE you have sex, if what you want is a committed relationship. If you just want sex, none of this applies, of course :-). 1
Brown-Eyez Posted October 4, 2013 Posted October 4, 2013 ex after 2 weeks to the day, recieved a text with just her number was showing, no words in the text. was this somewhat of a bredcrumb. yes total breadcrumb the same thing happened to me all he sent me was a comma (really!) I asked about what that meant here on LS and i was schooled all about 'breadcrumbs' and texting games
davidhdl Posted October 4, 2013 Posted October 4, 2013 I thought it was, then I got thinking maybe it was a so called butt text.She and I lived together for the past two years. I will allways take a womans thoughts and I thank you. This happened Wednesday at 10.30 at night.
davidhdl Posted October 4, 2013 Posted October 4, 2013 plus she has not changed her changed her address with the post office.
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