waestofpaint Posted October 2, 2013 Posted October 2, 2013 Hello everyone, thank you for having me here in your forums! I feel great that their is a place like this where people can talk about these kinds of things. That being said, i would love to share my story with you all, and hopefully receive some advice. My ex gf and i had been together for 3 years. We broke up once or twice and it was because i was stupid and i was talking to ex girlfriends, but we would always get back together but afterwards she simply could not trust me. Just last weekend, I left my computer at her apt, and she went through the history and saw that i had looked at an ex girlfriends FB page. She broke up with me. The next morning she came by my apt and spray painted profane graffiti all over my apt door. I had to file a police report in order to not have to pay for the damages. I'm scared she is going to get in trouble as my apt complex has 24/7 video surveillance. When she did this, i felt like it was time to implement the NC (No contact) rule. She has sent me several harassing and unproductive text messages, and then claims that i am "immature" for "ignoring her." Do i continue the NC rule? What do i do? Thoughts / Questions / Suggestions? Thanks !
Toddbt12y1 Posted October 2, 2013 Posted October 2, 2013 NC maintained. Restraining Order. Keep ignoring her immature, ill-rational behavior. Although, you shouldn't be looking up previous exes, it was not her business to look through your computer. Just ignore her. Get a restraining order; weather out her insanity, she will stop.
barky2 Posted October 2, 2013 Posted October 2, 2013 After she went psycho you decided to go nc? More like change your number immediately and yes get a restraining order on her for the near distant future so your stuff doesn't get ruined. She acted immature. On the flip you contacting your exs isn't very healthy to do while in a relationship...granted as a dude just looking at her profile isnt a big deal. Theres alot of maturing that needs to happen within the both of you...and that needs to happen apart not together. If you're done with her tell her, then impliment nc. Good luck! Barky
Author waestofpaint Posted October 2, 2013 Author Posted October 2, 2013 Thank you so much guys for all of your input. She has texted me again today, and she has started to tell me she is going to end her life. I do not know what to do.
Author waestofpaint Posted October 2, 2013 Author Posted October 2, 2013 Getting really freaked out. Her last text reads as follows: " I apologize in advance to you and everyone about this, but i have decided it is the only way to escape this nightmare. I hope you aren't too mad at me and know that I loved you. That is no kind of manipulation at all, by the way. 100% my own choice and decision. Please don't be upset with me and try to understand why. I have already let my family and friends know and apologised in advance" What do i do !!!????
Toddbt12y1 Posted October 2, 2013 Posted October 2, 2013 She won't kill herself. Don't buy into that cheap ploy. She only wants you to respond. Even if she did kill herself, that's all her. Point is, this is a game. Don't play games. 1
barky2 Posted October 2, 2013 Posted October 2, 2013 If you feel like she's going to harm herself you need to call someone. Barky 1
Author waestofpaint Posted October 2, 2013 Author Posted October 2, 2013 I dont think she is playing a game she has serious mental problems i had been with her for 3 years and this sounds really serious. i called her sister and her sister can not get a hold of hre and neither can i
cavalier99 Posted October 2, 2013 Posted October 2, 2013 When they threaten this dont give in and see her ...worst thing you can do. Ask her where she is then tell her to stay there ...no more info from you...then call 911 and tell ambulance and police where they should go. This surprise should stop her from using this manipulation. Also if she really is going to do something these are the appropriate people to respond. Rock on! Cav 3
barky2 Posted October 2, 2013 Posted October 2, 2013 With all due respect and I truly mean this,why are you asking us for information when common sense should kick in and have you call someone incase of her well being? Barky
Author waestofpaint Posted October 2, 2013 Author Posted October 2, 2013 Sorry i freaked out there, I just really didnt know what to do. Like i said i contacted both of her sisters though and one got back to me and told me she was OK and that she was at work. Shes still talking suicidal, saying she will drink bleach or jump off a building. I honestly deep down dont think she really will but im sure you all understand my initial frightened feeling and panic when she told me all of that. Anyways thanks again for all of your help and ill be sure to keep you guys posted.
noble Posted October 2, 2013 Posted October 2, 2013 I dont know where you live, but here in california we have something called a 51/50 hold. Basically if someone is making threats about suicide or about killing someone else, you call the cops and they are taken away to a mental institution for a mandatory 48 hour holding period for observation and to be evaluated by a psychologist. If you have text messages from her threatening to kill herself that could qualify. you probably dont live in CA but most states/countries have laws like this. so call the police and explain the situation.. if she really is suicidal it will be in her best interest, and if she isnt and shes trying to play games for attention then it will be a cold hard lesson and reality check.
noble Posted October 2, 2013 Posted October 2, 2013 oh also wanted to add that she sounds really immature being so insecure and jealous over you looking at an ex girlfriends FB page. I mean, really? its only natural human curiousity and just because you aren't dating someone anymore does not mean you just dont care about them or wonder whats happening in their life anymore.. me and my bf talk about his ex from time to time because i run into her and it doesn't threaten me at all, because i know he loves me and wants to be with me and i actually like the fact that he still cares/wants the best for her because that just shows hes a compassionate person.
Author waestofpaint Posted October 2, 2013 Author Posted October 2, 2013 Yeah she basically wrote me a text form of a suicide note, explaining how sorry she was that she was gonna do it, and how, and that she hopes im not angry at her for it... I live in TX i do not know how the laws really work here but im only going to call the police if i think its dead serious, and right now i think shes just playing with the idea.
cavalier99 Posted October 2, 2013 Posted October 2, 2013 Just block her. It is hard enough to recover from a BU without her additional drama. You need to be focused 1000 percent on your healing. Cav 1
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