heartbroken1357 Posted October 2, 2013 Posted October 2, 2013 Hey guys I'm in need of some advice, please take the time to read my story and reply, , im slowly slipping into depression. And I've had it before and I really don't want it too take hold of me again as I tried to commit twice, it's so hard to control but it's like a demon you have zero control over I feel so lonely and I can't concentrate on my work and can't stop thinking about her Me and my girlfriend of 10 months split up 10 days ago And I'm feeling lost and confused as to what went wrong And where to go from here. I'd previously been badly hurt by an ex and I met my now ex gf 11 months ago we hit off instantly when we met, And the next day I took her to the cinema, cooked her a meal And we sat in my pool until 5am drinking. We were seeing eachother for about two months and had been sleeping Together after a couple of weeks. I introduced her to new foods, drinks places and treated her really well She said she had been hurt in the past and she was never going To hurt me and allways be there for me. Her parents said she was the happiest they had ever seen her and we were perfect For eachother, she had spoke about kids with her parents. We have been on holidays and I got her a car and done all the work on it for her. I was out of work for a few months and we went out less, she had her independence now she had a car and I quess mixed with the wrong crowd. Things startes to go wrong, lieing, she met previous lovers behind my back And then asked for a break, we got back together after 4 days, she said she had realised what she had and her mum and friends had knocked sense into her. A month later I find out she slept with someone else she denied it at first And then came clean after 2 hours, she broke down and said she didn't Mean to was confused, I endes it and went home, she begged me to Not cut her out of her life, and asked me to go see her, I went back 3 times That night her mum said she had never seen her so upset and she had a panic attack. Now I unconditionally love this girl so I took her back and she promised me That she would prove I could trust her, and that we could make things work. The next day I get kicked out of my parents place in a argument. She and her parents then said I could move in with her, I said we will have to work On things and start at friends but before long we were back in bed And sleeping together and for the last 6 weeks we shared a bed every night. I was curious and looked through her phone to be shocked that she was back on dating Websites and was messaging tom, dick and harry, and flirting with 2 of my friends! She had been lieing to me the whole time and had been on dates with a guy Been to his house, been out for meals and even been in his hot-tub. I confronted her and started packing my stuff she begged me to stay and talk I was going away that weekend so I said you have till monday to make your decision Everything or nothing! She continued to say she was confused and needed time and space Yet wanted me to stay in the bed with her each night, we watched films Had sex and spooned all night. I came back on the Monday and she said she wants to be friends but as soon As she sees me in person she can't go through with it and needs more time I'm starting to feel run down now but don't want to give up on someone I truely love. The week goes by and she goes out thursday night, Promises me shes going to her friends house and we make love and she tells me she love me and will see me tommorow. I catch her out through a friend and then she lies again as to her whereabouts She stayed over this guys house she has been seeing behind my back Friday morning I pack my stuff it felt great! I was going to show her im not her doormat Anymore, she calls me 8 times that night and I didn't answer as I was at a family Dinner, she then proceeds to bring the new guy to the house and sleeps with him And then tells me afterwards. She then asks to talk and I meet her and she says we can only be friends and she is seeing someone else, im quessing the same guy. I then go out for a drink and who happens to be in the same pub! Him! He won't even give me eye contact but as soon as I was alone a couple if his friends started barging into me, but I didn't rise to it. Now my problem is understanding how after 10 months can you move on that easily And sleep with someone else it made me physically sick Why beg for me back, get me to move in and then screw me over? The worst bit is she is adamant she has done nothing wrong. To top it all off I lost her on the friday, started my new job on the monday and moved into my own house the same weekend, I know I now have alot going for me, as I have a career I want and my own house, I just don't understand as she was so happy to live with me, but as soon as she knew I had a new job and was getting our house sorted, she runs a mile. What I ultimately need to know is how to cope and weather to be friends with her or not I feel like she has died and I don't understand how she isn't mourning Or feeling bad, do I cut her out of my life and battle on through it or do I accept her Request to be friends and despite what she has done be there for her and proove she made The wrong decision, I may be stupid but I love this girl and I'm not getting any younger I don't know weather to keep friends with her in the hope she will realise what she has lost And then in thr future atleast if she is single and we're on good terms we could start a new slate. It's such a horrible feeling I drove past her twice yesterday yet my previous ex who lives just as close and drives I haven't seen in over a year, it's like im cursed Thanks for reading
headinthecloud Posted October 2, 2013 Posted October 2, 2013 I'm sorry for what you're going through in your life at the moment. You have some major challenges but you can and will get through this. Believe in yourself, not others. She is too young for a serious relationship. She doesn't communicate. Love is a drug addiction and when a relationship ends the withdrawal is awful. This is where you have to be strong and go NC. Because you have a medical history, go see your doctor ASAP. You are not alone. Look at all the posts here on LS. Be resilient. Start taking care of you. When it seems insurmountable, ask a friend for help or call a crisis centre. Don't be afraid to ask for help, you're going trough a terrible emotional ordeal and it's ok to feel heartbroken. You will get through this. Believe in you. This time too shall pass.
Recommended Posts