FaithInTheDark Posted October 2, 2013 Posted October 2, 2013 theres thus guy ive known for years and we recently connected again. he was into me but i wasnt very interested at the time. but he asked me out on a date last month and it went great. a couple weeks after the date I went over to his place to watch a movie.. we started to fool around but i wouldnt sleep with him because i didnt want to have evrrything based on sex. i went over to see him a couple days ago this is the fouth time we hung out....and had amazing sex and i find myself alot more attracted to him. I find myself thinking about him often and wonder if hes seeing anyone else. my question is when is it ok to ask a guy if hes seeing anyone ? and if he asks me back what should i say? even if im not seeing anyone...weve been hanging out for over a month now. thanks
pasta noodle Posted October 2, 2013 Posted October 2, 2013 Honestly, I think it'd be alright to ask him--although I wouldn't push too hard for an answer if he seems reluctant--considering you've been talking to him for a month now. You seem like you want to take the relationship further, so it's better to find out if he's on the same page or not before you get too invested. Based on how he responds, you should be able to gauge his interest level and go from there. If he asks you if you're seeing anyone, be honest. What benefit would lying have, especially in the long run?
Ninjainpajamas Posted October 2, 2013 Posted October 2, 2013 So what exactly did you think you accomplished by ensuring this wouldn't be based on sex and then had sex anyway, when you didn't even talk about exclusivity?....at least. Based on what you've said, I don't see any reason to believe this is going to go anywhere. 2
Author FaithInTheDark Posted October 2, 2013 Author Posted October 2, 2013 what do you mean what have I accomplished by not having sex right away? i wanted to get to know the guy before I slept with him.duh ive known the guy for years. anyway i asked him the question... his answer was "ive been single for six months and you are the first one ive seen naked since feb" hahah wasnt expecting that kind of answer 1
clia Posted October 2, 2013 Posted October 2, 2013 what do you mean what have I accomplished by not having sex right away? i wanted to get to know the guy before I slept with him.duh ive known the guy for years. anyway i asked him the question... his answer was "ive been single for six months and you are the first one ive seen naked since feb" hahah wasnt expecting that kind of answer This answer does not establish that he is not dating or seeing other women -- just that he hasn't become exclusive with anyone, and he hasn't had sex with them yet. It also doesn't rule out him getting oral sex from other women. Did he ask you to be exclusive after you brought this up? 1
Author FaithInTheDark Posted October 2, 2013 Author Posted October 2, 2013 im 24 hes 25. no he didnt ask me to be exclusive...he explained how hes been focusing on his carrer and stuff. i asked through text..i would of asked face to face but we live in diffrent towns. i dont know if id even want to be exclusive just yet ...feels too soon.
soccerrprp Posted October 2, 2013 Posted October 2, 2013 I hope it works out. I hope he didn't get what he wanted and is now looking "beyond" you. But, despite your increased interest in him and thinking about him often, it's clear that you don't want an exclusive relationship right now, right?
Phantom888 Posted October 2, 2013 Posted October 2, 2013 You should ask BEFORE you sleep together. Why would you want to date/sleep with someone who is dating other people??? If someone asks you that same question, tell the truth. Everyone has a right to know so they can decide if they want in or out.
HokeyReligions Posted October 2, 2013 Posted October 2, 2013 Are you kidding? "Would you like to go out with me?" "Yes I'd like that. Are you seeing anyone right now? I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings" Is basic communication lost on people now? 1
white Posted October 2, 2013 Posted October 2, 2013 Are you kidding? "Would you like to go out with me?" "Yes I'd like that. Are you seeing anyone right now? I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings" Is basic communication lost on people now? The exchange you just described is anathema to most people on this board. 1
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