emva07 Posted October 2, 2013 Posted October 2, 2013 and here I was under the impression this guy just shoved you down his balls (that's what happens when I read stuff at 3am).... Yeah I mean don't feel guilty for having (or not having) sex, it's natural. Like I said, no one should make you feel guilty for what you chose to do. So far doesn't seem like this guy is making you feel bad about it....and if he were to, screw him.
Author brokendoll Posted October 2, 2013 Author Posted October 2, 2013 You know, you guys might wanna take things a little more slowly on the emotional side rather than the sexual side (though both is probably a good idea). You both sound VERY young and deciding that you're "in love" with someone after one date or that you want to marry someone after one date seems really fast. Keep seeing each other but maybe hold off on all this super-intense stuff. We are actually not that young Im 28 and I dont know his age, but Hes pblly between 25-29 Because we both went to medical school we never had time for relationships or dating, but at this stage we kinda do albeit very busy. hes coming to spend time with me after his 12 hr day work...now I must be special. Plus what happened to me careerwise is a little upsetting and I cant believe he wants to hear about it or "get through it with me". Hes way ahead of me in that regard, but being so busy most people at that level dont have the time to spend, especially when you are in a rigorous residency program. So ofcourse he was mad at me if I said no to spending his precious weekend with him.
Author brokendoll Posted October 2, 2013 Author Posted October 2, 2013 and here I was under the impression this guy just shoved you down his balls (that's what happens when I read stuff at 3am).... Yeah I mean don't feel guilty for having (or not having) sex, it's natural. Like I said, no one should make you feel guilty for what you chose to do. So far doesn't seem like this guy is making you feel bad about it....and if he were to, screw him. I might have acutally made it sound like that because I did blame him in my first post with out a lot of details....but yeah it was kinda overwhelming to type everything at once..and I suck at typing.
Phantom888 Posted October 2, 2013 Posted October 2, 2013 Was this guy much older? Sounds like he was just interested in one thing. Keep in mind that guys would say anything to make you believe them. Action speaks louder than words, so if you want a truly nice man who respects you, take the time to know him. You say you are in love with his personality, but he has a character flaw....he doesn't respect women. He treated you badly after you rejected a subsequent date. That's not a man you want!
MalachiX Posted October 2, 2013 Posted October 2, 2013 Was this guy much older? Sounds like he was just interested in one thing. Keep in mind that guys would say anything to make you believe them. Are we ever going to get over this kind of post that loves to blame one gender for every issue in a relationship? He didn't act like he was only interested in one thing and not all men lie to women. Some do, some don't. We're all individuals. He may just want sex or he may be for real. You say you are in love with his personality, but he has a character flaw....he doesn't respect women. He treated you badly after you rejected a subsequent date. That's not a man you want! What thread were you reading? He was nice to her, repeatedly asked her out again after they fooled around an explicitly stated that they didn't need to do anything sexual. Then, after being rejected roughly three times, he seemed to lose interest. That's not respecting women? What if the genders were reversed? A man and woman go out and the guy goes down on the girl on the first date. Then, afterwards, he doesn't call her again and repeatedly shoots her down when she wants to go on a another date. If this happened I'm guessing you and a ton of other people on the board would be saying, "this guy is a jerk. He just wanted sex!" Double standards are exhausting and always treating men (or women) like they are the enemy leads out lousy relationships. 1
Author brokendoll Posted October 4, 2013 Author Posted October 4, 2013 Emva07 You were right about everything I'm more broken now. so all the words he was using were emotional sabotage I didn't know people like this exist esp ones that have a respectable profession. That's a horrible way to judge anyone Yesterday he took me out etc same sweet words but this time more distracted with phone. At our dinner there was a guy looking at our table and he kept staring at us so this jackaas(my date) kept staring back at that table like WTf Anyway lol now what I expected the most or did not want to expect happened He took me to his place to show me the place Now from emva07 post I knew where this was going Starts with telling me bull**** and making false promising but this time I have my guard on. I'm sweet so I didn'tet it show because that's not my personality Anyways after all these promises to help me out then be told me he thinks he's in love with me. Proceed now I know he's totally playing me and I've been sex deprived for a while so I was like ok I'm gonna have sex anyways since I've been busy etc. After first round I told him I think I'm In love with him too He said but I've hardly known you. In my mind I'm like lol really??? What about the bs texts we Ve been exchanging for 3 mo I can get sex anywhere but I wanted to use him This time for playing with me I was Alrwdy broken so this wouldn't hurt me more So we have sex the second time. And yeah second time he still didn't go down on me Bastard I left him I used him just like he used my emotions After I left he told me he d pick me up today eve lol I'm Like really!!!????? What the **** makes you think I'd come back to your ugly ass for sex because if it was only abt sex I can get it anywhere . I was in love with u u ass and you played with my emotions by Lying to me. Then all evening he sent me 20 sweet texts by now I know the meaning. Of them
Author brokendoll Posted October 4, 2013 Author Posted October 4, 2013 I have lost faith in love If a 215 lb fat man cannot give me Love for loving him for him and not His looks and then I don't think anyone else can I'm Never trying. Again I'm such a mess in my head I'm depressed suicidal and vulnerable
Author brokendoll Posted October 4, 2013 Author Posted October 4, 2013 Way to take things slow! {Yes, sarcasm} There was no point in taking it slow I used him because I did not see a future No point in slowing down becuSe I had decided I'm Never seeing him again I played him just like he played me. And it shows with his texts 10 texts every two hrs today after I left It shows he is regretting it. And he wil never have me again by his side because he messed up He also had his friend text me to see if I respond and I did respond to that to torture him more
snowflakes88 Posted October 4, 2013 Posted October 4, 2013 No offense, but you sound emotionally unstable. 3
OnlyHonesty Posted October 4, 2013 Posted October 4, 2013 (edited) There was no point in taking it slow I used him because I did not see a future No point in slowing down becuSe I had decided I'm Never seeing him again I played him just like he played me. And it shows with his texts 10 texts every two hrs today after I left It shows he is regretting it. And he wil never have me again by his side because he messed up He also had his friend text me to see if I respond and I did respond to that to torture him more What many do not realise is that when ever they use someone, they are also using themselves. You had the opportunity here to rise above the other persons low standards and manipulating ways. Instead, you say you used him while in the process allowing yourself to be used for sex as well. You mentioned being sex starved or him knowing this was the case, a more sensible course of action would have been something that didn't involve damaging your own self esteem, using someone and allowing yourself to be used.Part of the issue here is also, when you get into this sort of pattern, it can send you in a downward spiral and when you finally meet this person who is right for you in the future, this person who will respect you and see you for what you truly have to offer, you will be bitter and you will end up wishing you acted differently in the past. You would have also acquired a negative sexual history that you will be ashamed off as well and that will prevent you from being able to confide in your partner and you will end up lying about number of partners, events etc. Too many people fall into this trap. If I was you, I would put this event down to experience, learn from it. Just because someone wants to use me, it doesn't mean I will use them back which will bring me to their level. The only way to beat the game is in fact not to play it. He would have had more regret if you didn't have sex with him and left with your self respect intact and a message against his behaviour. That's assuming this is not behaviour you partake in on a regular basis. Edited October 4, 2013 by OnlyHonesty
jdubinva Posted October 5, 2013 Posted October 5, 2013 All this thread you sounded like you were a good girl who made a mistake due to a temporary 'heat of the moment.' Now you come up and say not only you didn't do what you needed to do [having a 'let's take it slow' talk and concentrate on love/feelings] you slept with him because you wanted to use him? You know how crazy, slutty, and mentally unstable that sounds? Your whole story is full of holes. Even the second date, you say you had already decided to have sex with him [because you were sex deprived and because you wanted to use him] then get mad for the things he said later. This whole thing sounds like a big troll case, where you just want to bash men. You sure you aren't from Lifetime TV? If not you sound like a complete headcase with talking about love one second and evil laugh the next. Kinda scary, actually. Take it easy on her. She's being hard enough on herself as it is.
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