Turnandcough Posted October 2, 2013 Posted October 2, 2013 My ex girlfriend broke up with me almost a month ago. I gave her a couple days to cool things over before we talked. I asked her what she wanted and she said I wasn't going to like the answer so I said I respected her decision and she would say I love you blah blah. When I got home I got emotional and texted her saying I wanted to fight for something I loved. Asked her after all the love she had for me how could she drop me like that. Asked if another person was involved. She said no. I only did it that day, been NC ever since. Honestly I miss her sometimes but for the most I'm remembering how great being single is. At this point idk if I would even take her back. I know I'm worth more than how she is treating me. She used to say I was the miracle God sent her and she wanted to start looking at apartments together so when we graduated, in a year, we could move in and start a life together. I'm sure sooner or later she will get off of her rebounds and try to come back. Break up reason was I lied about something little, not cheating, and she thought I had been clingy which was BS because she asked me to stay with her most every night. It just so happens I became clingy when her single young roommates got back from summer break. They are all young and some recently single. We both are in college and live at the same apartment complex. She needed "space" and is recently 21 and I'm 23, so I'm guessing she just wanted to go party It up since she is about to graduate. She would say before we broke up that I think we should be able to hangout and party with out friends since it's out last year. I was all for that. Anyway, I'll stay NC and move on. She used this as her window of opportunity to go test the waters and party. She knows how much she means to me. I'm not sure how much I mean to her since she has yet to reach out and we ignore each other anytime we run into each other (grocery store, tailgates, etc.). I know I shouldn't have lied to her and I accept the fact it's wrong and I forgave myself. Her sister messaged me about 2 weeks after NC and told me she texted her that he may be missing me. Any thoughts on my situation? Is she just young and dumb? Unsure about other aspects of our relationship since I lied? I treated her like an angel. Hell, her mom was already saving for a wedding. We run in the same circle and her bestfriend told me she was completely done with me and was currently seeing someone else (3 weeks after). Penny for your thoughts?
h0000 Posted October 2, 2013 Posted October 2, 2013 (edited) I hardly think anyone at 21 years old would want to marry. Even if they do they will divorce. Except for rare exceptions. When I was like 20 I broke up with my bf cuz I wanted to see the world. I still think he is a good bf. But I felt I wanted to experience more first. And I do not regret. She probably met someone else right before she dumped you. Especially her friend told you she is already seeing someone else. I was like that with my 2nd bf. and I would not tell him "I want to dump you cuz I found someone else" I feel that would cause endless unnecessary post breakup breadcrumbs.. Instead I just said "My feelings died. Please dont contact me anymore" . My ex was a loser. Sexting constantly with other girls. I do no regret dumping him for someone else. Maybe you guys have your own relationship problems and she is just fed up? I would not go back to my ex. Dont think you can be sure she will get rid of her rebound and come back to you. Edited October 2, 2013 by h0000
Author Turnandcough Posted October 2, 2013 Author Posted October 2, 2013 I hardly think anyone at 21 years old would want to marry. Even if they do they will divorce. Except for rare exceptions. When I was like 20 I broke up with my bf cuz I wanted to see the world. I still think he is a good bf. But I felt I wanted to experience more first. And I do not regret. She probably met someone else right before she dumped you. Especially her friend told you she is already seeing someone else. I was like that with my 2nd bf. and I would not tell him "I want to dump you cuz I found someone else" I feel that would cause endless unnecessary post breakup breadcrumbs.. Instead I just said "My feelings died. Please dont contact me anymore" . My ex was a loser. Sexting constantly with other girls. I do no regret dumping him for someone else. Maybe you guys have your own relationship problems and she is just fed up? I would not go back to my ex. Dont think you can be sure she will get rid of her rebound and come back to you. The only reason I know that isn't true is because of all the messages her sister was sending me. She also goes to the same school as us and wanted my ex to take me back. She pretty much kept textinge saying that she isn't sure what she wants right now and misses me a lot. She wants to take awhile and think about what she really wants. I told her sister about 2 weeks ago I didn't want her to keep updating me on her and I was letting go. I know she the main reason she dumped me was because of the lie. Well I'm sure it is more her wanting the freedom to party. Which I love partying.... And let her do whatever she wanted. During the summer she couldn't stand being away from me for a day. I would be at work and she would tweet I can't stand the fact my baby is at work! Ant wait to be with him all night. Stuff like that. I almost feel like she is taking me for granted and now that her roommates are back she wants to be wild and free. Btw I am in no way ready to get married right now either lol.
h0000 Posted October 2, 2013 Posted October 2, 2013 Its funny her sister wants this relationship to work more than she does.. So her sister and her best friend is telling you opposite things? The relationship is none of their business. You should see in your own eyes. People lie about having someone, or not having someone. They lie about their intentions to get what they want. Anyway, you shouldnt be worried about that. Believe what you believe. Im not really sure what you are after? Are you waiting for her or are you letting go? 1
Author Turnandcough Posted October 2, 2013 Author Posted October 2, 2013 Its funny her sister wants this relationship to work more than she does.. So her sister and her best friend is telling you opposite things? The relationship is none of their business. You should see in your own eyes. People lie about having someone, or not having someone. They lie about their intentions to get what they want. Anyway, you shouldnt be worried about that. Believe what you believe. Im not really sure what you are after? Are you waiting for her or are you letting go? I mean I feel like I have to let go for myself. If this is what she wants then I have to accept it and get back to me. Idk if she will ever try to smooth things over. I mean I woul hope she would at some point but I know how many beautiful women are in my town and I'm very confident the right one is out there. If she came back I would be very catious in taking her back. It seems like if be a doormat or what's to say she wouldn't do this again? She would really have to prove something to me.
h0000 Posted October 2, 2013 Posted October 2, 2013 (edited) lol thats the spirit. My most recent ex dumped me for the same reason. I guess everyone has a period of time when they just want to "party around" . And for sure there are other hot people out there for us. And for sure we all want the ex to come back after the fresh breakup but dont keep thinking like that. Instead just keep telling ourselves "I dont care" and eventually we will stop caring lol My ex contacted me after 5 weeks. I havent figured out what he wants yet. But he later on did something that pisses me off (lied about something) and I am ignoring his apologies at the moment. I still have residue feelings yes. It hasnt been even 2 months yet. But already I am caring much less. Not even sure I will want him back anymore. Edited October 2, 2013 by h0000
Author Turnandcough Posted October 2, 2013 Author Posted October 2, 2013 lol thats the spirit. My most recent ex dumped me for the same reason. I guess everyone has a period of time when they just want to "party around" . And for sure there are other hot people out there for us. And for sure we all want the ex to come back after the fresh breakup but dont keep thinking like that. Instead just keep telling ourselves "I dont care" and eventually we will stop caring lol My ex contacted me after 5 weeks. I havent figured out what he wants yet. But he later on did something that pisses me off (lied about something) and I am ignoring his apologies at the moment. I still have residue feelings yes. It hasnt been even 2 months yet. But already I am caring much less. Not even sure I will want him back anymore. Yah I know exactly how your feeling. Honestly when she met me I was very popular around my college town and she approached me. I was living the life before her and I'm seeing if she doesn't want me or can't forgive me, cool. I have get hit on all the time. I just thought love got through all this immature game playing BS. She is young though so I don't blame her. I was a mess at 21. It's funny how as time goes along we realize we don't need them. Just wanted them... Now I'm not sure I do.
h0000 Posted October 2, 2013 Posted October 2, 2013 (edited) My ex approached me as well when I didnt even notice him.( I was getting hot with another guy haha) but he made me all in love and made me think he is the hottest guy in the world. I dont think he loved me though. His infatuation went away then he dumped me probably. Few weeks ago I felt lost, angry, confused, and really scared and sad when I thought I would never see him again. But I know I will get over it. It is also possible she will contact you.By then you will probably feel even better and stronger. You are at college..very easy to meet girls i think? It's a bit hard for me though since I graduated. Edited October 2, 2013 by h0000
Author Turnandcough Posted October 2, 2013 Author Posted October 2, 2013 I honestly say she did love me. The lie hurt her a lot and I know her friends were doin the whole, "well if he lied about that... What else has he lied about." I know she is scared to try again even though she knows how I feel about her. A part if me wishes I would have just kept with the I reaped your decision part and went straight no contact. The begging the day of pushed her away. I ended up sending like 8 text back to back without her reply. I was scared to lose her. We have ran into each other a couple times, like bars. We notice each other and completely ignore the other. Most of the time I leave. One time I ran into her and her new roommate, which was always nice to me while we were together. My ex didn't see me but her roommate walked right in don't of me and so I was nice and said hey! What's up? She completely ignored me and so I left before my ex could see me.
h0000 Posted October 2, 2013 Posted October 2, 2013 You said it was really because she wants to party and not so much to do with the lie? what did you lie about?
Author Turnandcough Posted October 2, 2013 Author Posted October 2, 2013 You said it was really because she wants to party and not so much to do with the lie? what did you lie about? Well the lie was the excuse to me to go party. We both go to a pretty prestigious university. Well this semester I needed a loan to go due to lack of funds, I ended up not being able to get that loan due to unknown fees squired from a different loan I took out my freshman year for a different college. I ended up having to take this semester at a community college. I was embarrassed and insecure about the whole thing. I figured if I can just get through this semester I'll be back at my university and it will be like nothing happened. I ended up lying about still going to the university and she caught me. It was sooooo stupid I did that, I guess I don't like being seen as weak for her or not enough. Not only for her but also to everyone. She felt betrayed and I understand why. She said it hurt her a lot because it was such a big lie.
Author Turnandcough Posted October 2, 2013 Author Posted October 2, 2013 Anyone have any advice on the lying part? It was petty and dumb yes. She said she forgave me when we talked face to face and she said he missed me and loved me. Idk what she is thinking right now. Coming up on 4 weeks NC and one month break up.
Author Turnandcough Posted October 2, 2013 Author Posted October 2, 2013 Update: I started my new job today! So on top of school and this new, fun job I should be staying busy and also making no contact a lot easier. I will be meeting many new people since I am a leasing agent at a new college property.
h0000 Posted October 3, 2013 Posted October 3, 2013 hmm she has a bf now right? so if she comes back one day you know it will be highly cuz the guy dumped her? Would you want to take her back?
Fashiongal Posted October 3, 2013 Posted October 3, 2013 I feel you. I'm sorry for what you are going through. A girl is more mentally matured than a boy at 21. I do believe she wanted to move in and marry you. Depending on what you lied about, I can't rationalize why she would choose to give up everything over one issue instead of working things out. People change and aren't who you thought they were in the end. I would not take her back though if she is seeing someone else. It will never be the same.
Fashiongal Posted October 3, 2013 Posted October 3, 2013 I'm sorry I didn't read the other posts. Honestly your lie is not a big deal at all and certainly not grounds for ending a relationship. That should have been a simple conversation not an argument. She should have offered you emotional support. It seems like this is her excuse and she has been wanting to end things for awhile.
Author Turnandcough Posted October 3, 2013 Author Posted October 3, 2013 hmm she has a bf now right? so if she comes back one day you know it will be highly cuz the guy dumped her? Would you want to take her back? She doesn't have a new boyfriend she is just talking to someone. My guess is because she doesn't wanna be lonely through this and it is some peoples way of coping. I don't think I would take her back unless she proved a huge change to me. What if we dated again moved in together and she ran at the first sight of trouble?
Author Turnandcough Posted October 3, 2013 Author Posted October 3, 2013 I'm sorry I didn't read the other posts. Honestly your lie is not a big deal at all and certainly not grounds for ending a relationship. That should have been a simple conversation not an argument. She should have offered you emotional support. It seems like this is her excuse and she has been wanting to end things for awhile. I just feel like it was a combination of things building up. I agree she probably was questioning things earlier and this was the breaking point. Kind of weird tho because the day she caught me in the lie she was really laying the love on me lol. It is the start of a new semester of college so maybe she meet someone in one of her new classes? She has been super cold to me when she sees me in public which has actually made me move on faster and in becoming indifferent. Ive already given up on her and starting to really enjoy life again! I deserve a LOT more than her and one day she will see what she left.
Fashiongal Posted October 3, 2013 Posted October 3, 2013 I doubt she will meet anyone in her classes. I never would have looked twice at any of the guys I went to school with lol. I'm really puzzled on why she would act that way. She seems really young and immature. I'm glad you are moving on. You definitely do deserve a lot better. No point in wasting your energy worrying over someone like her. You didn't do anything wrong and don't deserve what she did.
Author Turnandcough Posted October 3, 2013 Author Posted October 3, 2013 I doubt she will meet anyone in her classes. I never would have looked twice at any of the guys I went to school with lol. I'm really puzzled on why she would act that way. She seems really young and immature. I'm glad you are moving on. You definitely do deserve a lot better. No point in wasting your energy worrying over someone like her. You didn't do anything wrong and don't deserve what she did. Well yah I doubt she would either because she is a PSYCH major lol. I mean I've gotta realize I lied about something petty and in my future relationships I will not keep anything that stupid from them. She just wanted to be single and be 21, I have no hard feelings even though her and her roommates cold shoulder me. I'm gonna carry on having fun!
Author Turnandcough Posted October 3, 2013 Author Posted October 3, 2013 The only thing that seems odd is how would she be talking to another dude 2 weeks later? Seems kind of short amount of time to meet someone and start talking to them. Maybe she was talking to him before we actually split.
Author Turnandcough Posted October 3, 2013 Author Posted October 3, 2013 Honestly that is what I was thinking. Haha it's honestly better if that is the reasoning. I know her isn't gonna be near as good as I was to her. I honestly don't care about her the same way, it's only been nearly a month now and I guess I have moved on kind of quickly. I haven't dated or anything yet but if that who she really is.... then that's not the girl I thought she was and I don't want to love someone like that. Not trying to be cocky but I have a ton of girls I could pursue. For instance, while I was in the relationship with her, this new girl that moved in next to me (I had never talked to or met) facebook messaged me asking if I worked here. I said yes, she continued to say that we should hangout. I told her my GF probably wouldn't enjoy that lol. I even showed my ex the messages because I didn't wanna hide anything from her. She ended up getting mad that I even messaged her in the first place lol.
Author Turnandcough Posted October 3, 2013 Author Posted October 3, 2013 You should take her out on a date. She has a BF now and the last thing I want to do is put another hurt soul in the LS forums lol. I'll be going out this weekend. I find someone out and get their number.
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