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Not sure if I should back off or give in.


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Posted

  • He's 27
  • I'm 26
  • Have known each other all our lives
  • Tried to date in the past, but never got to being official
  • We've always had an attraction
  • He's shy and has had no serious relationships
  • I've had a few serious relationships

 

About 4 months ago, I accepted a job that requires me to relocate in January. A few days after I accepted, we were at a wedding, and I ended up getting drunk and begging him to go with me. I was honestly just being drunk and scared, and he said he would never leave his home town.

 

Ever since (and I didn't realize this because I was too concerned about another guy), he has been asking me to do things with him on the weekends. It wasn't until August that I realized we had been spending a lot of time together and friends started asking about us.

 

He apparently tried to hit on a girl one weekend when I was out of town and felt bad about it, so he told me. I replied by saying it was fine since we're not dating anyway. And then he wanted to know where I thought "this" was going because he didn't want to do long distance in the future. I told him I didn't want to do long distance either.

 

I asked why he all of a sudden likes me now... after all these years. Why did he choose now to start spending so much time with me. He said he is afraid of commitment and that's why he said he wasn't ready the last time we tried to date (about 3 years ago). He said he wants to spend more time with me now simply because he likes being around me.

 

Since I like being in relationships, I proposed the idea that we have a "pretend" relationship until January. He said okay. So for the last couple of months, we've been spending every weekend together, doing "couple" things, spending time with families and friends, and getting closer and closer.

 

From what I see and from what people have been telling me, including his friends, he really likes me. But he insists that he won't go with me when I leave.

 

My question is, should I just give in and see what happens, or should I take a more proactive approach to guarding my heart and back off so we don't end up with two broken hearts? What would you do?

Posted
  • He's 27
  • I'm 26
  • Have known each other all our lives
  • Tried to date in the past, but never got to being official
  • We've always had an attraction
  • He's shy and has had no serious relationships
  • I've had a few serious relationships

 

About 4 months ago, I accepted a job that requires me to relocate in January. A few days after I accepted, we were at a wedding, and I ended up getting drunk and begging him to go with me. I was honestly just being drunk and scared, and he said he would never leave his home town.

 

Ever since (and I didn't realize this because I was too concerned about another guy), he has been asking me to do things with him on the weekends. It wasn't until August that I realized we had been spending a lot of time together and friends started asking about us.

 

He apparently tried to hit on a girl one weekend when I was out of town and felt bad about it, so he told me. I replied by saying it was fine since we're not dating anyway. And then he wanted to know where I thought "this" was going because he didn't want to do long distance in the future. I told him I didn't want to do long distance either.

 

I asked why he all of a sudden likes me now... after all these years. Why did he choose now to start spending so much time with me. He said he is afraid of commitment and that's why he said he wasn't ready the last time we tried to date (about 3 years ago). He said he wants to spend more time with me now simply because he likes being around me.

 

Since I like being in relationships, I proposed the idea that we have a "pretend" relationship until January. He said okay. So for the last couple of months, we've been spending every weekend together, doing "couple" things, spending time with families and friends, and getting closer and closer.

 

From what I see and from what people have been telling me, including his friends, he really likes me. But he insists that he won't go with me when I leave.

 

My question is, should I just give in and see what happens, or should I take a more proactive approach to guarding my heart and back off so we don't end up with two broken hearts? What would you do?

 

See all those parts in bold? Consider them red blaring signs that you shouldn't "give in" no matter how much you "like being in relationships".

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Posted

So no matter what, the outcome won't be worth the experience?

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