My baby girl

[clevergreen]

Man, I don't know how to start this but here it is. A year and a half ago I was pregnant with a little girl. I was happy and confused (like any new parent) but more confused because I was raped. I told my parents and they weren't happy bout the whole ordeal, my dad didn't say much but my mom suggested adoption. I looked into it and I found one that I liked and began the whole process I found a family that I was interested in but they were taken (at this time I was 6-7 months along) I asked the lady if I could wait to see if this other mother was going to follow throgh because i really didnt like any other families and this one was perfect for my baby.

 

while all this was going on, my mom keep pushing for the adoption and i felt like while all this was going on i couldnt enjoy my pregnancy and i wasnt happy with myself and i was starting to get attached to my baby, to short this up a little bit lets just say i gave birth and because of all the presure i had from my mom and most of my family members i decided that it was on the baby's best interest to go up for adoption.

 

i had friends and some family members that were with me no matter what choice i made. but it seemed like i had more support from my friends than my family and the issue of keeping my child. now lets get to the poing, i gave my child up for adopting and everything went well for the first year, the family i picked was great for my child they really love her and give her everything she wants.

 

everything was going great acording to the contract we sign, NOW after the first year i was to get an update on my childs doing with pictures and details on what she was doing, and i have never received anything, i'm the only one holding on the end of the contract because they claim they're too busy to even pay attention to their family.

 

HERE's my problem.....now that the presure is all off, i am able to think for myself and i feel like i made a mistake by giving my baby up,

and since this people are not keeping their part of the contract i found myself wanting to get my daughter back.

 

do you guys think this is the right thing to do?

do you guys think that this family that i thought was perfect is not giving my daughter the proper attention due to their hectic life?

are they in breach of contract?

HELP PLEASE i am going crazy. and i miss and love my daughter very much

 

Thanks for any inputs

[morrigan]

What a terrrible situation, I'm sorry about what's going on. I'd suggest going to an attorney and discussing the actual stipulatation in your adoption contract. Also contact the agency through which you put your daughter up for adoption. Voice your concerns about the family's comments about their lack of time.

 

As far as the photos and information on your daughter, if it was a stated part of the legal contract you signed, your child's adoptive parents should be following through. I can understand their worries about the child they love, but if it was part of the legal agreement, they should do it.

 

As far as your feelings about wanting your daughter back, I really don't know what to tell you. I do see where your parents pressured you to put your child up for adoption, rather than allowing you the time to make the decision. They should have been more understanding of your conflicting emotions.

 

On the other hand, your daughter has been with a family for over a year. If they are legally neglecting her, she shouldn't be with them. But who knows what the situation exactly is?

 

But even if you were successful in getting your child back (I don't know how well that would work, and it would be a protracted legal situation) you would be taking your daughter away from the only parent(s) she has ever known. Is that fair to her? What's more important, your happiness or that of your child's? If anything, I would suggest trying to get legal visitations with your daughter.

 

I hope I have helped you somewhat. Please take care of yourself.

[clevergreen]

Wow! man u make me want to cry when I red that response it tuched me. I don't know that situation either but damn I still want her back not for selfish reasons but because I was more or less pressured into it. I'm very close to my mother and I try to do right by her and she does give good advice but to tell me and the adpoted parents (IN PERSON) that she couldn't love my girl or concider her as a grandchid. I'm still trying to cope with that. But I know that if I wouldn't have gone throgh and given my daughted up, she'd come around but when I did get to see my child I took her with one my last face to face visit and I also brought a good friend with me as well. I could see that she was "fronting". I could go on about the whole ordeal on this matter but I thank you for your reply.

 

love to hear more, thank you