moveONorStay Posted October 1, 2013 Posted October 1, 2013 (edited) Looking for some advice. I've been dating a girl for about 7 months, and while she hasn't done anything to intentionally harm the relationship, she has done a few things that have bothered me. At the beginning of the relationship, she asked me a lot of questions about past relationships, number of partners I'd had...I answered honestly and up front because I respect her and wanted to get off on the right foot and not have any skeletons in the closet. Anyway, I thought that she had been up front with me too, except I noticed some weird interactions between her and the porter of her apartment building. I asked if anything had gone on with him and she repeatedly said no. About 4 months later, the guy gives me a weird grin, so I asked her again and she admitted that when she first moved to the apartment, she went to a party with him and ended up having sex with him, but that it only happened once and that it was so bad she really regretted it and felt embarrassed to tell me. She then said he made one more advance on her, kissing her when she asked to have something fixed in her apt and she told him no...she basically explained she let her guard down and it was very unlike her...she also said that it was terrible and if I feel the guy is being a creep, that I should tell him he has a small dick (which is why she said the sex was so bad and didn't go any further with him) Coupled with this, around June, I was using her computer in the apartment, which she gave me permission to do. I noticed in her recent search history, she had looked up her ex. This is a guy she split with more that 2.5 years ago and lives in another country so I figure not really a threat. I asked her about it and she said a mutual friend had emailed her about him and she was just looking him up...seemed strange and false. This past week, I was using her computer again and noticed that she had searched for this guy again earlier in the day. Now, this isn't snooping, it just seems coincidental that of the few times I've used the computer, she has searched this guy twice (that I know of). I've had the impression that she truly isn't over him after all this time and it sucks to feel she has the need to keep looking up this ex...particularly since she keeps telling me how much she loves me, has never felt a connection like this, loves my support, mind blowing sex...blah, blah, blah. I've been up front and honest with this girl, but are there more skeletons in her closet?? as I feel there have been a few lies along the way. Am I wasting time with her or is this normal behavior to? I mean, we have all looked up an ex from time to time...I just don't feel the need to do it regularly! Why the lies when she asked for honesty from me? How should I approach this? Confront her about it or just see how things work out? Thanks Edited October 1, 2013 by moveONorStay
Phantom888 Posted October 1, 2013 Posted October 1, 2013 The apartment porter thing was a mistake, so you should move past that. He has a small dick and couldn't get her off, so obviously she would never ever consider him. It's good that she told you eventually, so she should be rewarded for her honesty. The thing about looking up ex.... don't assume anything. She has her reasons. Doesn't mean she is not over him. I can perfectly understand this situation. I look up my ex once in a while on FB because I want to see how she's doing. Doesn't mean I'm still in love with her. She recently fell on her head in a bar, and suffered head injury. She lost her sense of smell and taste. I felt really bad for her. I check on her once in a while just to see if she got any better. That's it. I don't love her anymore. I just want to see if she's ok.
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