TheGuard13 Posted October 1, 2013 Posted October 1, 2013 So I've been dating a woman for about seven months now. She was previously diagnosed as bipolar and with PTSD. Red flags, to be sure, but I like to give people a fair chance to be decent human beings. That said, I'm aware that people don't change that much, so I'm concerned about some things. My girlfriend is generally a mature, upbeat and respectful person. She's going through a lot right now, financially, emotionally and otherwise. And lately, she's been having trouble managing her stress and anxiety, which is starting to affect our relationship negatively. We've argued or fought more often during the last month or two, and they have not been productive fights, but the sort of immature "he said, she said" things that resolve nothing. Last week, she experienced a particularly bad batch of hormones, and rather abruptly broke up with me, which of course, lasted about a half a day, and which she didn't mean because she was on her period. Point being, we've had some communication issues lately, if not respect issues. While I really like her, and do love her, I have no desire to be with someone who cannot act like an adult when it matters. And while I understand the challenges she's dealing with, I consider none of it to be an okay excuse for melting down whenever there is an argument or a conflict and being unable to act like a mature adult. Obviously, I don't feel like dealing with this forever, but I recognize that if anything is to change for the better, it will happen slowly or gradually, if at all. My question is less about how much crap should I put up with, and more to the point, as a mature adult, what is an appropriate and reasonable response to this behavior? At this point, I'm inclined to sit her down and say "look, I care about you a lot, and I want to support you, but I only have so much patience, and I will not tolerate abuse, bad communication or disrespect. I know you're under a lot of stress, but I don't see much effort on your part to mitigate its effects on our relationship. If this pattern continues, and you don't change your behavior, I'm going to break up with you." Not in those words, of course, but that's what I'm trying to convey.
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