I cheated, we stayed together, but he left me for another girl in high school.

[X20107428]

I've been with him for three years. Right now I'm starting my soph year in college.

 

We had just finished the our first year of college (Our second year of dating) and I cheated on my boyfriend in the beginning of this summer because of self esteem issues. The guy I was with really did nothing wrong, and thought he can treat me better and only wanted me to be happy.

 

My best friend decided to break it to him without talking to me first. I chose my boyfriend and chose to stay together. The entire summer, I dedicated it to him, seeing him every, from morning to midnight, ignoring my family so I can show him how much I regret it all.

 

We have a one hour long distance relationship.

 

He's liked this girl for a while, even while we were dating, and she goes to high school (she's a senior) about 5 minutes walking distance from his house. He would text her while he was with me sometimes, and said it's because she's pretty, nice and was always there for him when he needed her.

 

This summer was fine, I think. We had some communication issues, but for the most part, I can definitely say we had good times.

 

Three weeks ago, as my school was about to start, he dumped me and said he wasn't ready for a relationship yet. But he told me I hurt him way too much to have him as a lover. That I had made him feel unloved so many times, that everything added up which resulted in him finally leaving me. He said if I had to wait, I had to wait years, if there even was a possibility in us getting back together. I retaliated saying, I did my very best, but he chose to nullify everything with the past.

 

His facebook has posts with her, but no intimate pictures yet. But I know she's visited him in his college because he showed me a folder of like 30 pictures of just her (He's into photography).

 

He's a very busy person, always constantly trying to make money to be independent. I feel like I should give him space, but seeing my situation, that would only allow this girl more time with him since she's so close to him and everything is so convenient.

 

I tried meeting the girl over a cup of coffee, just to see how she was like, but he contacted me saying not to message her, and that I was not welcome in their relationship. We had a small argument, but in the end, I apologized. But in this fight, he said he was happy not to think of me, or hear from me, or anything. We talked before, but he said it's because he was satisfied with a regular friendship, where he didn't have to think so much on his replies, or even reply at all.

 

I keep telling him that I've changed for the better, as I've never been so determined in my life to set myself on a goal; getting him back and being happy again.

 

I refuse to make myself move on, because I can't let myself go for ruining something that could have been much better. He told me this summer was the summer he was waiting for us to be together again, and no apart. I know that if I didn't do what I did, we'd definitely be together to this day.

 

I can't forgive myself, and I'm so bent on getting him back so I can show him exactly how much I want to make things better.

 

I messaged him, retching out my emotions, telling him to unearth a shard of faith in me after three years, that even though this girl is a better choice in the aspects that I carry a huge burden of memories, I am confident I can make him happy again.

 

He hasn't replied to me yet, even though I've seen him online on Facebook.

 

Is this girl a rebound? Even though they've known eachother for years, and they apparently like eachother. She's a high schooler, so I'm hoping she doesn't know exactly what she wants yet, but I can never be sure since I don't exactly know her.

 

I tried NC but I can't handle it. This past three weeks I've been trying to talk to him, and three weeks have felt like three months.

 

Someone help me... I've been trying everything I can.

[stillafool]

Her being a high schooler with a college bf is a step up for her. I can't see her wanting to break up with him as he sounds like a catch. Why were you trying to meet her for coffee? He is right you need to stay out of their relationship. Men sometimes have a much harder time getting over cheating because they get these mind movies of you having sex with the OM and that makes you bungie jump off the pedestal that men like to put their women on. I think your best bet would be to move on and learn from your mistake. Chasing after him is going to turn him off and make him value this other young lady all the more..

[X20107428]

I have learned, and I've been trying to make up for it the past three months after being with him. I KNOW for a fact he still loved me after we got back. He even surprised me and visited me, but he dumped me a few days after that. My friend said he kissed this other girl, and that was probably the reason why it was so easy for him to break it off with me.

 

They even went to the mall together, while me and him were still together, and he told my best friend that he put his arm around her.

 

I really just want maybe a week with him, and just show him how differently I view my actions. This is the first person I've ever opened up to so much, and we lost our virginity to eachother.

But see, another thing is that he, as a Christian, would tell me he would feel dirty and guilty, even though he starts it most of the time. I felt terrible I'd give him my body if he wasn't going to feel good about it. I never felt like my decisions were right in his eyes, but in retrospect, this was my self issues warping my thoughts?