bohica Posted October 1, 2013 Posted October 1, 2013 (edited) Hi again Some readers may have followed my last post. If so, great then your up to date. If not, not a problem I saw this girl for the third date last Friday. Things ended up going great. I went to her place after dinner. We were a little intimate and things felt good. I want to see her again but I am not sure how long I should wait. I sent her a text the next day and we had a few small exchanges since then. I know she isn't working this week and I want to call her and invite her to my place to spend an afternoon on the Beach because it will be 80 tomorrow. I work from home, live by the beach and can take the day to relax. I thought I can make a great afternoon of it. I am going under assumptions at the moment. I have no idea what is going through her head. The problem is (as some of you who read my last post know) that I am not getting a whole lot of energy or excitement from her. I know shes into me otherwise I would not have gotten that second or third date but there is no i am really into you signals. In addition, I feel like she wants the space and isn't into being really into someone right now. I know it takes some people time to loosen up a bit and let the guard down too though and she happens to be a really chill kind of mellow person. I am not looking to rush into anything. I do want to see her and ask her to come see me but I don't want to scare her away either by making her think I want more then she is willing to give particularly so soon. It doesn't have to mean much to me though other then hanging out and enjoying the afternoon. I feel that there is only one way to find out. Thoughts? Should I make the call? Edited October 1, 2013 by bohica
TB Rhine Posted October 1, 2013 Posted October 1, 2013 Go ahead and send the invite... the worst she can do is give you some excuse. Ultimately, if she's not feeling it - or if she's emotionally unavailable and not looking to get close to anyone at the moment - nothing short of constantly bombarding her with messages is going to make much of a difference at this point. It's a third date, it's at your house, it's the beach... she's gonna know what direction your mind is going at this point. It's up to her to accept or reject the advance.
Author bohica Posted October 1, 2013 Author Posted October 1, 2013 It's a third date, it's at your house, it's the beach... she's gonna know what direction your mind is going at this point. It's up to her to accept or reject the advance. Actually, just to correct you it's the fourth date. Also, my mind isn't anywhere but hanging out and spending a sunny 80 degree fall afternoon at the beach.
clia Posted October 1, 2013 Posted October 1, 2013 Go ahead and ask her. It is not too soon for a fourth date. That said, when you call, acknowledge that it is a last minute invite, and have your back-up plan in mind in case she declines because she already has other plans. (i.e., getting together on Friday or Saturday night).
deathandtaxes Posted October 1, 2013 Posted October 1, 2013 No assumptions. Nothing to lose if you ask. And you never know if you don't ask. Three dates and some making out? Not too bad.
Author bohica Posted October 1, 2013 Author Posted October 1, 2013 So I called and asked her and she said she couldn't and then suggested another time. I didn't recommend another day. Just said another time. She just said ok. I didn't get a positive feeling. If a girl responds with maybe Friday or Sunday or next week or makes attempts to suggest an alternative then I know she likes me and regrets she can't make it. I'm finding this girl hard to read. When we are together she seems to like me but otherwise I get no signals at all. Only one time I did. She sent me a text saying she wants to see me again after our first date. I thought that was cool. She doesn't seem to want to talk or send a text or anything. I don't want to appear presumptuous at all. I've been out of the game for a while here so I think I need to tell honestly that I don't want to appear presumptuous and to call me when she wants to get together. Then I just back off.
Phantom888 Posted October 1, 2013 Posted October 1, 2013 Ask her. No need to guess. Just loosen up and be yourself. If you are excited about her, show your excitement. If that turns her off, then she's not right for you. Don't act cool and pretend you are not interested. Just relax and tell you you want to see her soon. Would you be offended if she asked to see you soon? Of course not! You would be happy right?
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