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Is this guy shy or just rude?


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Posted

To make a long story short, my coworker was trying to set me up with one of her clients and it fell through so I wrote him off because its a waste of time. So last week him and his colleague pass by. Come right by my office, he doesnt say Hi but his colleague did. He was looking for something he lost and was stressed out (apparently). He walked by my office and I made it a point to look him straight in the face. He had this deer in the headlights look like he was scared. According to my coworker, he is shy but come on who cant say Hi or acknowledge me or nod? He wanted to meet me for months, but didnt have the guts to introduce himself and would stay in my coworkers office. Now today, i heard him in her office, he doesnt stop by to say Hi. I make it a point to pass by the office and didnt even look in her office. I just think its rude and inconsiderate and honestly i am offended. Then my coworker says he asks when were going out last week. So apparently, he wants to go out this month, but if you dont have the guts to do it, dont bother. I guess if your really shy and anxious you wouldnt approach someone but can someone really be THAT intimidated??? Maybe i am just too sensitive to the situation.

Posted

Did you glare at him? Have an intense look on your face? If you did, he might interpret that you're angry with him and will avoid you.

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Posted

Not the least bit. I was trying to see if he would make eye contact. But i looked him straight in the face. I know i am giving it too much thought anyways. Guys dont think half as much as women do. He knows i am not mad, because couple days later, my coworker told me were all going out in October.

Posted

Are you sure? Some people have told me in the past that they thought I was mad at them by the look on my face, when I wasn't at all.

 

If he looked scared to you, then you must have had an expressionless look on your face to give him concern. If you smiled, totally different story.

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Posted

Well, i guess i could have smiled at him to break the ice. But, I was trying to see if he would so I had this kind of blank expression on my face. I was mad after he left, for not saying anything but if i ever see him again, I know better. Guess i intimidated him without trying to lol.

Posted

No offense, you probably looked like you were pissed. A blank expression with no smile would make me think you were mad at me.

 

I like how you scared him but were mad at him for not saying anything. lol.

Posted
To make a long story short, my coworker was trying to set me up with one of her clients and it fell through so I wrote him off because its a waste of time. So last week him and his colleague pass by. Come right by my office, he doesnt say Hi but his colleague did. He was looking for something he lost and was stressed out (apparently). He walked by my office and I made it a point to look him straight in the face. He had this deer in the headlights look like he was scared. According to my coworker, he is shy but come on who cant say Hi or acknowledge me or nod? He wanted to meet me for months, but didnt have the guts to introduce himself and would stay in my coworkers office. Now today, i heard him in her office, he doesnt stop by to say Hi. I make it a point to pass by the office and didnt even look in her office. I just think its rude and inconsiderate and honestly i am offended. Then my coworker says he asks when were going out last week. So apparently, he wants to go out this month, but if you dont have the guts to do it, dont bother. I guess if your really shy and anxious you wouldnt approach someone but can someone really be THAT intimidated??? Maybe i am just too sensitive to the situation.

Some guys are totally socially awkward. There's this guy in my department, who's like... totally weird/awkward. When I first saw him last year, he was not talkative at all. He didn't know anyone and because he was so shy / awkward and always nervous and stressed, he didn't say hi to anyone , if he even was ever around (he worked from home most of the time). I tried to reach out to him (as just a friend not a potential romantic interest/sexual interest) , and he could barely maintain like 2 words of conversation with me. At first I thought he was rude and wasn't interested in talking to me , since I kept asking him questions about himself and he just answered in like 2 words and didn't ask anything back. So I just let go of it, and for a year, I barely saw him. Then, a year later, he came out of his cocoon. :confused::eek: Just like that. We had a wine and cheese event, and then we headed down to the local pub afterwards, and he decided to show up to the wine and cheese, :confused: AND go out with us to the pub. :confused: We ended up talking, he was very nice and respectful and smart, and we exchanged numbers and event went for a drink (just me and him) once. :cool: It was pretty cool. THough there was nothing more to it than that. We haven't gone out again but we're in touch on facebook and I see him every now and then. I think in his case, he was just very nervous about a new environment, and already social awkward anyway, which made things worse. He also was a francophone so his English wasn't great (at least his accent) and he was in a totally Anglophone environment so that may have added an extra layer of stress. But I don't think you should assume he's rude just because he didn't say hi. Depends on the situation. Also, I've discovered that even seemingly self-confident guys, who are nevertheless intimidated by my looks , tend to get nervous around me.

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Posted
No offense, you probably looked like you were pissed. A blank expression with no smile would make me think you were mad at me.

 

I like how you scared him but were mad at him for not saying anything. lol.

Blah guess thats why I am not that approachable. Thats why I dont like being set up. Two days later, I was told he asked when were going out, so guess time will tell if it scared him off or not lol.
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Posted
Some guys are totally socially awkward. There's this guy in my department, who's like... totally weird/awkward. When I first saw him last year, he was not talkative at all. He didn't know anyone and because he was so shy / awkward and always nervous and stressed, he didn't say hi to anyone , if he even was ever around (he worked from home most of the time). I tried to reach out to him (as just a friend not a potential romantic interest/sexual interest) , and he could barely maintain like 2 words of conversation with me. At first I thought he was rude and wasn't interested in talking to me , since I kept asking him questions about himself and he just answered in like 2 words and didn't ask anything back. So I just let go of it, and for a year, I barely saw him. Then, a year later, he came out of his cocoon. :confused::eek: Just like that. We had a wine and cheese event, and then we headed down to the local pub afterwards, and he decided to show up to the wine and cheese, :confused: AND go out with us to the pub. :confused: We ended up talking, he was very nice and respectful and smart, and we exchanged numbers and event went for a drink (just me and him) once. :cool: It was pretty cool. THough there was nothing more to it than that. We haven't gone out again but we're in touch on facebook and I see him every now and then. I think in his case, he was just very nervous about a new environment, and already social awkward anyway, which made things worse. He also was a francophone so his English wasn't great (at least his accent) and he was in a totally Anglophone environment so that may have added an extra layer of stress. But I don't think you should assume he's rude just because he didn't say hi. Depends on the situation. Also, I've discovered that even seemingly self-confident guys, who are nevertheless intimidated by my looks , tend to get nervous around me.
Thats true. Whats funny is, his colleague and him walked in, and his colleague said Hi, and even with him it was almost like a whisper. I said Hi back and smiled and the other guy was almost hiding and silent lol. Oh well, whatever is meant to be will be, cant force him out of his cocoon.
Posted
Blah guess thats why I am not that approachable. Thats why I dont like being set up. Two days later, I was told he asked when were going out, so guess time will tell if it scared him off or not lol.

 

Sometimes you like someone, you get nervous around them and over think things, don't know what to say. He could like you a lot but you intimidate him. I'm guessing you're hot. Can I see a pic? :D

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Posted
Sometimes you like someone, you get nervous around them and over think things, don't know what to say. He could like you a lot but you intimidate him. I'm guessing you're hot. Can I see a pic? :D
LOL i guess so. I have blonde hair, green eyes, 5'4", curvy figure and well a curvy backside lmao...its more like a curse. :sick:
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Posted
Sometimes you like someone, you get nervous around them and over think things, don't know what to say. He could like you a lot but you intimidate him. I'm guessing you're hot. Can I see a pic? :D
I guess he is nervous...when I met him we had a less than 10 minute convo and he was standing the entire time, and was using his hands, but was pretty well spoken (wasnt stuttering)
Posted
and was using his hands, but was pretty well spoken (wasnt stuttering)

 

He Italian?

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Posted
He Italian?
I dont think so. I think hes jewish.
Posted

I think your best bet is to meet with him at this gathering in October. Be outgoing. Talk to him. Even be bold if you're that into him: "You going to make a move or what?"

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Posted
I think your best bet is to meet with him at this gathering in October. Be outgoing. Talk to him. Even be bold if you're that into him: "You going to make a move or what?"
Well I am, but dont want to scare him off be being too pushy. I have a feeling I would have to suggest a second date...ugh
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Posted
Well I am, but dont want to scare him off be being too pushy. I have a feeling I would have to suggest a second date...ugh
GOt the scoop on the guy today. Guess he is very shy, and whenever i pass by he nudges his worker. I was joking with my coworker how he hides from me and I wont bite. LOL its kind of cute actually, because not men guys act that way around me (at least not that I noticed).
Posted
GOt the scoop on the guy today. Guess he is very shy, and whenever i pass by he nudges his worker. I was joking with my coworker how he hides from me and I wont bite. LOL its kind of cute actually, because not men guys act that way around me (at least not that I noticed).

 

Now you know he's shy. Next step, is he into you? If so, you have to make the move!

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