Brown-Eyez Posted October 1, 2013 Posted October 1, 2013 After 2 months of anguish & moping about being dumped I rejoined handy OLD (yay?) this 1 guy was really interested in me & so after alot of hesitation i gave him my number we talked on the phone last night ...and I was bored! he talked Alot, asked me a few questions, but I just wasn't feelin it i have like 0 interest in going out with him (even though he seems like a nice guy) am i feeling this way cuz I'm not ready or we just weren't a good fit? he wants to meet me but i'm not sure..
Philosoraptor Posted October 1, 2013 Posted October 1, 2013 If you didn't feel a connection you didn't feel a connection. Don't overthink it, just move on to the next. No need to meet someone you already feel bored talking to. 1
Author Brown-Eyez Posted October 1, 2013 Author Posted October 1, 2013 i told him I'd let him know about us meeting up what should i say to him now?
Philosoraptor Posted October 1, 2013 Posted October 1, 2013 If you're sure you're not interested then be honest and let him know you are no longer interested in getting together... and wish him well. 2
mtnbiker3000 Posted October 1, 2013 Posted October 1, 2013 ^^ Yeah, better to do this, then meet out of obligation only. That wouldn't be any good for anyone... 1
barky2 Posted October 1, 2013 Posted October 1, 2013 Glad to see you didn't fall for your exs bs Hope we weren't too harsh. As for this,simply tell him that you're not feeling it and wish him the best. It still may be too soon for you to jump back in feet first. Have some girlfriend nights. Take it from there. Barky
Author Brown-Eyez Posted October 1, 2013 Author Posted October 1, 2013 Glad to see you didn't fall for your exs bs Hope we weren't too harsh. As for this,simply tell him that you're not feeling it and wish him the best. It still may be too soon for you to jump back in feet first. Have some girlfriend nights. Take it from there. Barky you know the ironic thing? just got a text from my X this morning (after talking to this new guy last night)! (how do they know when we're moving on or at least trying to??!) i changed his name to 'assclown' on my phone and was i ever surprised to see a text from assclown! anyway he just sent me a pissy note about my bad attitude when he didn't text me back last week.. i didn't text him back..yay! but sure got me thinkin of him again..
JDPT Posted October 1, 2013 Posted October 1, 2013 Refrain from dating, you are clearly not ready. Save yourself future grief overthinking. 1
MoooOinkBaaa Posted October 1, 2013 Posted October 1, 2013 I know these feels, your brain is still programmed to your ex. I can't look at any other women yet. My ex was my first and I always told her she's the only woman for me, that's still true even though I'm dumped. I wish I got a text from my ex I bet I'm assclown on her phone
Ireallydontknow Posted October 1, 2013 Posted October 1, 2013 If the person is nice, try being their friend? You never know you might meet your dream guy through him somehow! Just make your intentions clear, I just want to be friends!
Author Brown-Eyez Posted October 1, 2013 Author Posted October 1, 2013 I wish I got a text from my ex I bet I'm assclown on her phone come on! no way is your ex thinking of you in a hostile way (unless of course you did stuff to deserve it) and trust me, you don't really want a text from your ex it just sets your world spinning AND you don't get what you really want which is to have them back
Author Brown-Eyez Posted October 1, 2013 Author Posted October 1, 2013 If the person is nice, try being their friend? You never know you might meet your dream guy through him somehow! Just make your intentions clear, I just want to be friends! that's not a bad idea! i'll offer that and see if he's fine with friendship only
Amelie1980 Posted October 1, 2013 Posted October 1, 2013 After 2 months of anguish & moping about being dumped I rejoined handy OLD (yay?) this 1 guy was really interested in me & so after alot of hesitation i gave him my number we talked on the phone last night ...and I was bored! he talked Alot, asked me a few questions, but I just wasn't feelin it i have like 0 interest in going out with him (even though he seems like a nice guy) am i feeling this way cuz I'm not ready or we just weren't a good fit? he wants to meet me but i'm not sure.. Give him a chance. He may have been nervous. it May be more natural in person.
Author Brown-Eyez Posted October 1, 2013 Author Posted October 1, 2013 Refrain from dating, you are clearly not ready. Save yourself future grief overthinking. i was afraid of this ^^ time is moving on here, and I'm tired of him influencing my love life! I'm hoping that someone really incredible will come along and I'll forget ALL about him! btw what do you mean about saving myself future grief?
Amelie1980 Posted October 1, 2013 Posted October 1, 2013 i was afraid of this ^^ time is moving on here, and I'm tired of him influencing my love life! I'm hoping that someone really incredible will come along and I'll forget ALL about him! btw what do you mean about saving myself future grief? I just dated someone who wasn't ready. He was 3 months out of a 4 year relationship when I met him. it was a rocky relationship, they had broken up once already. he didn't engage with me much while dating and seemed almost scared to make plans with me. He ended it but not before I had developed feelings for him. If you are not ready don't do it. Save yourself and your dates the grief.
Author Brown-Eyez Posted October 1, 2013 Author Posted October 1, 2013 I just dated someone who wasn't ready. He was 3 months out of a 4 year relationship when I met him. it was a rocky relationship, they had broken up once already. he didn't engage with me much while dating and seemed almost scared to make plans with me. He ended it but not before I had developed feelings for him. If you are not ready don't do it. Save yourself and your dates the grief. I'm sorry this happened to you but thank you for this advice cuz the very last thing i want to do is repeat the broken hearted cycle
Amelie1980 Posted October 1, 2013 Posted October 1, 2013 I'm sorry this happened to you but thank you for this advice cuz the very last thing i want to do is repeat the broken hearted cycle If you date someone to try and forget your ex but do it half a$$ed without much thought for the person, what of their feelings. They may begin to like you a lot.
JDPT Posted October 1, 2013 Posted October 1, 2013 i was afraid of this ^^ time is moving on here, and I'm tired of him influencing my love life! I'm hoping that someone really incredible will come along and I'll forget ALL about him! btw what do you mean about saving myself future grief? You are the epitome of codependency and the concept of your ex having any control over you was out the door long ago. It's no so easy to interchange one person for the other is it? I'm of the idea of taking time time to rejuvenate yourself and learn from the very fundamental experience. Understand that there is absolutely no need to rush this process, no need to sabotage or prolong your recovery journey. You must be gentle with yourself and know that you are the most important person here and eventually only you will know when you are ready to play the field once more.
Author Brown-Eyez Posted October 1, 2013 Author Posted October 1, 2013 You are the epitome of codependency... ...so sad & so true! yes, he doesn't truly have control over me (I know its been my crazy brain all along) and am really not trying (purposely anyway) to merely switch out partners but I am frustrated and want to move along even if i do it at a snail's pace and maybe even put into practice some of what I've learned from this experience so far so I let this new guy know I could only be friends cuz I'm still mending from a b/u and he answered right back that he still wants to meet me to see if there is a spark... now what?
mtnbiker3000 Posted October 1, 2013 Posted October 1, 2013 Now, he knows your position. Now I say go for it. Very different situation now!!
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