andy_w Posted October 1, 2013 Posted October 1, 2013 Hey guys, So I had the day off yesterday and slept in super late, usually I'd have a text or something from my girlfriend by this point and I didn't, which I thought was odd but no big deal. So at that point I texted and asked how her day was going. I waited an hour and just sent a "?" because I figured she just didn't see it which happens a bit because her phone sucks and doesn't make a sound half the time. A couple of hours later I called, no answer, stopped by her house a while after that, no answer. Turns out she took a long nap. She's mad at me about this now, but I was just concerned, I only wanted to know she was ok. Her words were that this makes here feel smothered. Did I do anything wrong here?
todreaminblue Posted October 1, 2013 Posted October 1, 2013 Hey guys, So I had the day off yesterday and slept in super late, usually I'd have a text or something from my girlfriend by this point and I didn't, which I thought was odd but no big deal. So at that point I texted and asked how her day was going. I waited an hour and just sent a "?" because I figured she just didn't see it which happens a bit because her phone sucks and doesn't make a sound half the time. A couple of hours later I called, no answer, stopped by her house a while after that, no answer. Turns out she took a long nap. She's mad at me about this now, but I was just concerned, I only wanted to know she was ok. Her words were that this makes here feel smothered. Did I do anything wrong here? I wouldnt do it personally because if i were to do it i would feel i was invading but i dont see it as wrong....if it was out of concern that you did so ...in the case of your gf though she did tell you what she felt and you have to respect that no matter what anyone else on here thinks 1
clia Posted October 1, 2013 Posted October 1, 2013 Just so I have this clear: -- You sent a text. -- You didn't hear from her for an hour, so you sent another text. -- Two hours later you still hadn't heard from her, so you called. -- At some point thereafter, you went to her house. I am in agreement with your girlfriend. That is smothering, clingy behavior. I would be severely pissed if I was trying to take a nap and my boyfriend was freaking out that I hadn't responded to his texts (that weren't even about anything important) in a few hours. I mean, seriously? A few hours? You need to relax and give her some space. The world doesn't revolve around you. 2
soccerrprp Posted October 1, 2013 Posted October 1, 2013 Hey guys, So I had the day off yesterday and slept in super late, usually I'd have a text or something from my girlfriend by this point and I didn't, which I thought was odd but no big deal. So at that point I texted and asked how her day was going. I waited an hour and just sent a "?" because I figured she just didn't see it which happens a bit because her phone sucks and doesn't make a sound half the time. A couple of hours later I called, no answer, stopped by her house a while after that, no answer. Turns out she took a long nap. She's mad at me about this now, but I was just concerned, I only wanted to know she was ok. Her words were that this makes here feel smothered. Did I do anything wrong here? You didn't do anything WRONG. You were a little concerned that she had fallen off her routine. Just relax more next time she is not her routine self. 3
Zahara Posted October 1, 2013 Posted October 1, 2013 Maybe you jumped the gun a bit since it was only a few hours that went by before you went to her home. It wasn't as if she was missing for a whole day. However, I don't believe this was a wrong or right. Maybe just a boundary issue but in any case, I wouldn't be mad if my boyfriend came by out of concern since communication was a little off pattern that day. 2
bubbaganoosh Posted October 1, 2013 Posted October 1, 2013 If she's going to get pissed for something that petty, I would wonder would her attitude would be if it was something major. You went out of concern. If that makes her mad, then I would look elsewhere. 3
giblesp Posted October 1, 2013 Posted October 1, 2013 You were just showing her you cared and you valued your communication. She doesn't have a right to be angry with you. Women like this complain when a man shows her attention, and then complains when his feelings switch off after hr complaints and she doesn't hear from him. 2
veggirl Posted October 1, 2013 Posted October 1, 2013 Showing up at her house was a little cray cray. 2
soccerrprp Posted October 1, 2013 Posted October 1, 2013 You were just showing her you cared and you valued your communication. She doesn't have a right to be angry with you. Women like this complain when a man shows her attention, and then complains when his feelings switch off after hr complaints and she doesn't hear from him. I was going to say "something" like this, but resisted b/c you actually went to her house which I think is a bit much. Anyway, there are ladies who would not have reacted as she did and not considered it smothering. The woman I'm dating would have. But I know her and would never have ever done what you did. Oh, well. Hope you convince her that you were just being considerate and not clingy. 2
stillafool Posted October 1, 2013 Posted October 1, 2013 OP, give her as much space as she can handle. Call up your friends and hang out for days. Don't call, don't text her. Jus Enjoy your freedom. 2
Author andy_w Posted October 1, 2013 Author Posted October 1, 2013 Just so I have this clear: -- You sent a text. -- You didn't hear from her for an hour, so you sent another text. -- Two hours later you still hadn't heard from her, so you called. -- At some point thereafter, you went to her house. I am in agreement with your girlfriend. That is smothering, clingy behavior. I would be severely pissed if I was trying to take a nap and my boyfriend was freaking out that I hadn't responded to his texts (that weren't even about anything important) in a few hours. I mean, seriously? A few hours? You need to relax and give her some space. The world doesn't revolve around you. Yes, you "have it clear". You sucessfully extracted the hidden meaning from my cryptic post. Bravo.
crederer Posted October 1, 2013 Posted October 1, 2013 Jesus how long does she nap? Nothing all that wrong with it. She's telling you that she needs more space and doesn't need to be bombarded. Which is fine too, different strokes for different folks. Going to her house was probably a bit much, but I believe you did it out of concern more than anything. How long you guys been together? If my ex went 5 or 6 hours with no response I'd probably assume something bad happened because she always answered within an hour or two, and was texting me often. 1
Author andy_w Posted October 1, 2013 Author Posted October 1, 2013 Jesus how long does she nap? Nothing all that wrong with it. She's telling you that she needs more space and doesn't need to be bombarded. Which is fine too, different strokes for different folks. Going to her house was probably a bit much, but I believe you did it out of concern more than anything. How long you guys been together? If my ex went 5 or 6 hours with no response I'd probably assume something bad happened because she always answered within an hour or two, and was texting me often. Exactly. Thanks. She was up by 8am for classes and usually makes contact early, I didn't hear from her until almost 4pm. I thought it was reason enough for concern, I'm a bit of a worrier about some things.
giblesp Posted October 2, 2013 Posted October 2, 2013 Before I moved in with my GF, she'd love it if I turned up out of the blue on her doorstep. I'd love it if she turned up on mine. It's called being in love.
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