Lisa_Lisa Posted October 1, 2013 Posted October 1, 2013 Hello everyone. Some of you may remember my "bad in bed" thread not too long ago. The end of that thread was that he dumped me. I'd like to get into the details of that since I never did in the other thread. First of all, this guy decides to tell me his REAL name. I should have been upset at that. Omission is still lying, but I let it go like all the other red flags waving about. The Saturday night he ended things was because he texted me, but since I was charging my phone I didn't get back to him till an hour later. I explained this and then wrote that I miss him and he didn't write anything back (he's usually very quick to respond). He likes his women to be affectionate with him so I wrote, "see I'm showing interest and you're not." He wrote, "Im sorry. I was dealing with some things and now I'm on my way to a funeral home." I didn't write back about the funeral home. My gut told me it was bullsh*t. I ended up drinking wine for a couple of hours and then got a massive headache so I took some pills (yes, really bad, I know) and I fell out for several hours. I woke up to my brother's friends being in the apartment and I had to play hostess, but decided to check my phone before I did that. He had called and texted, "?" "Why aren't you picking up?" I wrote, "Sry, I'm with friends." He wrote, "Why was I not informed of this before?" I very quickly wrote, "you didn't ask." And that's when he dumped me saying he's not the guy for me, this was a mistake. I didn't even ask why he was at a funeral home and instead I go out with my friends. Uggh. End of story, right? Wrong, 'cause I can't forget him. Like all my previous failed semi-relationships, it takes a long time for me to let go especially if there was promise; only if there was promise. I tend to fall for men who make me envision a beautiful life at their side. I hate that. Today is his birthday so I texted him, "happy birthday." A minute later he texts back, "thanks but who is this?" LOL. He forgot about me already. I didn't reply. DEMENTED PART I created a fake profile using a picture I found off Google images and uploaded it. I went straight to his profile and said, "hi handsome." And he wrote back, "hi beautiful, how are you?" I mean he's totally allowed to do this. My real reason for this fake profile is to just look at him without him knowing I've looked at it. I didn't think he'd write back to the "hey handsome" comment. Now conversation is flowing and at some point I have to quit before he asks for my number. I don't know what I'm thinking or why I'm doing this or why I've put so much importance on someone like this. I know deep down he's a mean person, he's not good and he doesn't care for women. What I hate is the "future fake" I always tend to fall for it. 1
Radu Posted October 1, 2013 Posted October 1, 2013 End of story, right? Wrong, 'cause I can't forget him. Like all my previous failed semi-relationships, it takes a long time for me to let go especially if there was promise; only if there was promise. I tend to fall for men who make me envision a beautiful life at their side. I hate that. Today is his birthday so I texted him, "happy birthday." A minute later he texts back, "thanks but who is this?" LOL. He forgot about me already. I didn't reply. It could also mean : - he deleted your number from adressbook and doesn't recognize it - he is pretending to have done the above out of spite DEMENTED PART I created a fake profile using a picture I found off Google images and uploaded it. I went straight to his profile and said, "hi handsome." And he wrote back, "hi beautiful, how are you?" I mean he's totally allowed to do this. My real reason for this fake profile is to just look at him without him knowing I've looked at it. I didn't think he'd write back to the "hey handsome" comment. Now conversation is flowing and at some point I have to quit before he asks for my number. I don't know what I'm thinking or why I'm doing this or why I've put so much importance on someone like this. I know deep down he's a mean person, he's not good and he doesn't care for women. What I hate is the "future fake" I always tend to fall for it. He might be mean, but you are a danger to every bunny that walks this planet. 3
Author Lisa_Lisa Posted October 1, 2013 Author Posted October 1, 2013 I would never hurt a bunny. It just seems so hard to make a connection with anyone these days. So when you do and it falls apart, it feels like there is no hope. 1
Ouroboros Posted October 1, 2013 Posted October 1, 2013 He had called and texted, "?" "Why aren't you picking up?" I wrote, "Sry, I'm with friends." He wrote, "Why was I not informed of this before?" I very quickly wrote, "you didn't ask." And that's when he dumped me saying he's not the guy for me, this was a mistake. I didn't even ask why he was at a funeral home and instead I go out with my friends. Uggh. You understand how shady that sounds on your part, right?
Author Lisa_Lisa Posted October 1, 2013 Author Posted October 1, 2013 You understand how shady that sounds on your part, right? No, please explain.
Ouroboros Posted October 1, 2013 Posted October 1, 2013 No, please explain. It gave off the impression you were with another man. You were mia for hours, all you'll tell him is you are with friends, and when he asks why he was never told you act like it was none of his business. That's classic cheater behavior. He shouldn't need to ask what you are doing. You should be straightforward enough to tell him. If you told him the truth that your brother's friends dropped by out of the blue you could have avoided the drama but instead you wanted to get curt with him and make something out of it. 2
StanMusial Posted October 1, 2013 Posted October 1, 2013 I would never hurt a bunny. It just seems so hard to make a connection with anyone these days. So when you do and it falls apart, it feels like there is no hope. Which part describes the "connection"? I must be missing something here. 1
Author Lisa_Lisa Posted October 1, 2013 Author Posted October 1, 2013 It gave off the impression you were with another man. You were mia for hours, all you'll tell him is you are with friends, and when he asks why he was never told you act like it was none of his business. That's classic cheater behavior. He shouldn't need to ask what you are doing. You should be straightforward enough to tell him. If you told him the truth that your brother's friends dropped by out of the blue you could have avoided the drama but instead you wanted to get curt with him and make something out of it. But I wasn't with another man. Before I could truly explain myself (which you can't over text) he decided he didn't want to be with me anymore. I tried to call him 3 times, but he wouldn't pick up. I feel if he were emotionally invested then he would have at least heard me out. But he was quick like he was just finding any little reason to dump me cause he really didn't want to have a relationship with me to begin with.
heartshaped Posted October 1, 2013 Posted October 1, 2013 You're not demented... but I don't know what you see in this "man".
Ouroboros Posted October 1, 2013 Posted October 1, 2013 But I wasn't with another man. Before I could truly explain myself (which you can't over text) he decided he didn't want to be with me anymore. I tried to call him 3 times, but he wouldn't pick up. I feel if he were emotionally invested then he would have at least heard me out. But he was quick like he was just finding any little reason to dump me cause he really didn't want to have a relationship with me to begin with. I understand you weren't with another man but after enough dating experience many people learn to dump fast if they are given the tiniest inkling their bf/gf is cheating.
Author Lisa_Lisa Posted October 1, 2013 Author Posted October 1, 2013 You're not demented... but I don't know what you see in this "man". What I saw was "hope" for my future. It was an illusion, but the beginnings of a relationship are always sunny and you feel renewed, like everything from the past can finally be buried because you found someone who will share the rest of his life with you. It's a great feeling, but when it doesn't work it turns into a tidal wave of hurt. I was a fool to allow myself to believe all these things he said to me. That's what I hate the most. Instead of letting things blossom on their own, he rushed it all and either I was on board or I got off the ship, so I opened myself up to all those possibilities only to be thrown off like I never mattered.
Radu Posted October 1, 2013 Posted October 1, 2013 A better question is, why are you so willing to go for this 'hope' for the future ?
Author Lisa_Lisa Posted October 1, 2013 Author Posted October 1, 2013 A better question is, why are you so willing to go for this 'hope' for the future ? Because without hope we are just mindlessly walking on earth. What is life without love? Or the possibility of love?
Author Lisa_Lisa Posted October 1, 2013 Author Posted October 1, 2013 I understand you weren't with another man but after enough dating experience many people learn to dump fast if they are given the tiniest inkling their bf/gf is cheating. But if only he'd given me a chance to explain this to him, I know we would have resolved it. He has no idea that I wish I could tell him all of this face to face. I'm not the person he thinks I am or the girls he used to date in the past. I wish I could explain this to him. But it's hard to talk to a brick wall. Some people really have no mercy.
CarrieT Posted October 1, 2013 Posted October 1, 2013 You haven't answered the question: How old are you?
crederer Posted October 1, 2013 Posted October 1, 2013 Why didn't you ask why he was at a funeral home? Like jesus, if i was unexpectedly going to a funeral home and mentioned it, I would hope that my SO would ask what the hell happened, simply out of concern. And yah, your follow up text, from his perspective, sounded sketchy. Not saying you were being sketchy, but you gotta be aware of these things. 2
StanMusial Posted October 1, 2013 Posted October 1, 2013 You haven't answered the question: How old are you? Or why he had to tell you his REAL name? Shadiness abounds.
Author Lisa_Lisa Posted October 1, 2013 Author Posted October 1, 2013 I'm 34. He must give girls a fake name all the time and only tells them his real name after they've gotten to know him.
Author Lisa_Lisa Posted October 1, 2013 Author Posted October 1, 2013 Why didn't you ask why he was at a funeral home? Like jesus, if i was unexpectedly going to a funeral home and mentioned it, I would hope that my SO would ask what the hell happened, simply out of concern. And yah, your follow up text, from his perspective, sounded sketchy. Not saying you were being sketchy, but you gotta be aware of these things. Today is his birthday. I texted him, but he didn't know the number. But after reading your post, I kind of understand what he was feeling, so I texted him my name and wrote, 'I remembered it was your birthday. I just wanted to wish you a happy one.' He wrote, 'Thanks.' I'm TOO afraid to go beyond that. I want more, heaven knows I want more. But I feel like I have to take it slow. Maybe text him again in 2 weeks? I don't know. I wish I could fix this. I wish I had asked about the funeral home. It was stupid of me not to, but if someone is dead set against being with you then there's nothing you can do, right? I mean, if someone were persistent with me, I'd eventually cave. Should I be persistent?
CarrieT Posted October 1, 2013 Posted October 1, 2013 I mean, if someone were persistent with me, I'd eventually cave. Should I be persistent? No. You appear to be a flaky stalker. At 34, you should know better... Leave him alone and move on. 3
StanMusial Posted October 1, 2013 Posted October 1, 2013 Ok I checked out your other threads. I think you're confusing "connection" and "hope" with lust. You're infatuated with this guy and he can pretty much do whatever he wants at this point. So you better shape up and do things his way or else forget about him.
Author Lisa_Lisa Posted October 1, 2013 Author Posted October 1, 2013 No. You appear to be a flaky stalker. At 34, you should know better... Leave him alone and move on. I only put up one picture on that profile and he said, 'your pic looks fake btw.' So he could see right through it. Stalker, perhaps (but I'm deleting that profile today so no more of that). How am I flaky though?
stillafool Posted October 1, 2013 Posted October 1, 2013 OP I know this guy has pretty hair, pretty skin, pretty eyes, pretty hands and feet, plus he's a Libra (OMG), but at 34 you should know better.
Author Lisa_Lisa Posted October 1, 2013 Author Posted October 1, 2013 OP I know this guy has pretty hair, pretty skin, pretty eyes, pretty hands and feet, plus he's a Libra (OMG), but at 34 you should know better. I know I'm 34 and I should know better, but what should I know? I honestly don't know, lol. When it comes to guys, to be quite honest, I might as well be 19 because when I like one, I turn into puddy in their hands.
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