rastamoose Posted October 1, 2013 Posted October 1, 2013 Ok so I recently said about my ex going to a party that was full of MY friends, I didn't go. After the breakup I agreed to be friends but shortly after realised it would do me no good, I went NC. It's been a few months of NC and everything has been going fine, I didn't tell her I was going NC. I saw her out once and ignored her I thought that was a bug enough hint. That party was Saturday and since then I have had a feeling I would see or hear from her. Last night she randomly msg me in fb asking if I went to that show I bought tickets for us to go to ages ago. Why? Why does she even care? Is this just a conversation starter? Some of my friends think she went to that party hoping to see me but didn't, do now she msg me instead. I don't think she wants me back and neither do I, I just want to be left alone. I don't wanna reply but I don't want to come across like a dick if I ignore her. Guess it's true when you go NC they do get in touch. It's annoying
theonlyjuan Posted October 1, 2013 Posted October 1, 2013 Sounds like the perfect excuse to contact you. If my ex had bought tickets for something for us in the past and I wanted to contact her it would be a good enough conversation starter If you wanna be super rational about it, maybe she wants to go and wants to know if it's any good? Although if that was the case she would probably have asked that in the msg
h0000 Posted October 1, 2013 Posted October 1, 2013 What I dont get is, if you dont think she wants you back and you dont want her back, then why bother wondering what she wants??? why bother caring why she cares? Dont you have better things to do? and no you would not come across like a dick, and nor should you worry about it. 1
Author rastamoose Posted October 1, 2013 Author Posted October 1, 2013 Well one if my best mates is her brother and her ex was his best friend. Things got bad between the 3 of them. I don't have a problem with her I just don't want either bitching bout me. I do like her as a person it's just I don't have anything to say to her right now Just wanna know why she bothered contacting me
StyleOnEm Posted October 1, 2013 Posted October 1, 2013 Because she misses you. If you respond to her then that will open up the conversation flow and next thing you know you're having a back and forth interaction which might lead to "catching up" by grabbing drinks. Maybe deep down you don't want to admit it but you still want her in your life. 1
organizedchaos Posted October 1, 2013 Posted October 1, 2013 Then just keep it short and to the point. "Yep, went and it was cool. Thanks"
Chi townD Posted October 1, 2013 Posted October 1, 2013 I agree. You can miss someone and still not want to get back with them. 3
ConfusedHumanBeing Posted October 1, 2013 Posted October 1, 2013 How does one person asking if they went to an event mean tbey miss them? It could have just easily been her being nosey.
Author rastamoose Posted October 1, 2013 Author Posted October 1, 2013 I dunno it may be fear of old emotions coming back even though I'm sure they are gone, don't want to take the risk. I just don't have much of an interest in what she's been up to right now. The way I deal with things is cutting people out my life and finding a reason to dislike them, it just helps me move on. I would just like her to disappear and move away but that isn't going to happen. Nice girl but just don't want to deal with her in my life right now
theonlyjuan Posted October 2, 2013 Posted October 2, 2013 Maybe part of the reason she went to the party was to see you? She went to the party and you wasn't there, she then finds a good excuse to contact you a few days later? This doesn't mean she wants you back as a boyfriend. You agreed to be friends and then just disappeared out of her life. No one just loses all interest in their ex that quick, she probably misses you and is now trying to talk to you. 1) Ignore her - This may be awkward and hard to do because I once read she is your friends sister. You might get him giving you **** about it at some point. What if one day you do want to be friends with her? Ignoring her now may ruin any future friendship 2) Reply ( Short ) - I would keep it short but I guarantee she won't reply again if you do. She won't want to feel like she is making all the effort and coming across too keen, she won't reply again unless you make a bit of effort with this reply. Reply ( longer ) This involved a bit more effort like " How have you been? " It will open up more of a conversation and you will come across more civil. Don't blame me if this goes tits up but I think this could be the best reply " Hi yeah I did it was good. Hope your well " Now you have replied and been civil whilst shutting down any conversation. Your'e not asking any questions but you have been polite in hoping she is well. You haven't done anything wrong then do no one can give you any **** She may reply with " Thanks you too " which to me sounds like she is keen to talk, if she doesn't reply then she has probably got the hint that you don't want a conversation Do not blame me if you do this and it goes wrong, it's just advice
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