Amelie1980 Posted October 1, 2013 Posted October 1, 2013 If you went out with someone for 2-3 months and although you're disappointed you're not devastated by the end. Is it ok to have contact then? How to start it off?
Author Amelie1980 Posted October 1, 2013 Author Posted October 1, 2013 If you're not anticipating a rekindling and want to try being friends, go for it. Just be mindful of their feelings. He is the one that ended it.
Kirkliston Posted October 1, 2013 Posted October 1, 2013 In that case, be mindful of your own feelings. 2
Author Amelie1980 Posted October 1, 2013 Author Posted October 1, 2013 Contact them for what? See how he's doing. I just liked him. Smart interesting guy.
veggirl Posted October 1, 2013 Posted October 1, 2013 I mean what is your end goal? Do you wanna be friends? Just to see how he's doing is weird, I mean odds are he is "good" or "fine", like the majority of us. 1
Author Amelie1980 Posted October 1, 2013 Author Posted October 1, 2013 I mean what is your end goal? Do you wanna be friends? Just to see how he's doing is weird, I mean odds are he is "good" or "fine", like the majority of us. I don't know. He's not fine though....job issues and three months out of a relationship lasting 4 years. He told me he wasn't in the right frame of mind fir dating. You never know in the future. I'm dating again but nothing yet.
Antares Posted October 1, 2013 Posted October 1, 2013 You act the same way, regardless of the duration of the relationship. Go NC. If he didn't feel it, he didn't feel it. I was in a short 4 month relationship earlier this year. She broke up with me and I went NC. We never had any problems and had a really good genuine romance and friendship budding. After 2+ months of NC, she texted me. A few weeks later after some good text chats, we chatted on the phone for a couple of hours and she admitted that the BU was rough for her and that she missed me and cried a lot. She wanted to speak to me everyday but she told herself not to. I asked her if that meant she wanted to try and again and she said no. It was best to move forward. She knew we couldn't be 'just friends' either and knew we probably wouldn't be speaking again soon. This all took place in early August and I haven't heard anything from her since. Back to NC. You have to let him make the first move. You need to respect his decision to BU. If you hang around all it tells him is that you're available completely and utterly, even if he doesn't want you in his life. Just go NC. In time, if he changes his mind or wants you in his life, he'll let you know. By that time, you may not want to. 1
Simon Phoenix Posted October 1, 2013 Posted October 1, 2013 It works the same way it does for longer ones. NC is NC. In your situation, figure out what your goal is before you do anything and figure out if you are emotionally able to handle all responses or non-responses. 1
Author Amelie1980 Posted October 1, 2013 Author Posted October 1, 2013 It works the same way it does for longer ones. NC is NC. In your situation, figure out what your goal is before you do anything and figure out if you are emotionally able to handle all responses or non-responses. Thanks guys. You're right. if he sorts himself out and remembers me so.be it. I was upset at the bu and said so. so he knows how I feel. There was so much stuff going in his life and I don't think he was ready after his ex. He seemed reluctant to get involved and date properly even though we had a great time together. his ex gf was depressed the whole time they were together and they broke up twice. he is still in the flat they lived in together which must be weird. Then When his job went bad his mood declined sharply. I would be fine with any or no response. Because although sad and disappointed I have dealt with this bu healthily. I have been shopping, spent time with friends, met new people. After this bu I wasn't even sad enough to cry. I just.moped around and watched tv.
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