samaya09 Posted October 1, 2013 Posted October 1, 2013 My ex boyfriend and I dated for 3 months and officially became bf and gf afterwords and we were together for 6 months I started to notice that after 3 he was acting distant and going out without out me to events and weddings with his friends and family and not asking or including me. We had trouble in the beginning of the relationship cause girls will always comment on his fb and he also like girls pix but what really got me was he was still in communication with his ex and she still wanted him back he used to write to her on his Twitter and still had pix of her on his fb. I also found naked pix of other girls he dated on his phone he said that he forgot to erase them so we argued in the beginning cuz of that. So I was always aware an looking to c if he was faithful so we argued he said he was tired of arguing and if I didn't change he would break up with me and he did I asked for a second chance and said I would change and I did but he still went out and didn't include me anymore and he would verbally abuse me by putting me down or call me names and say that I had to either stand his attitude or let him go cuz I was keeping him in a relationship he didn't want to be in. An I still accepted and did everything possible but he said I was kissing ass an wasn't genuine. I was taking care of his son as if he was mine when he had him on weekends, I washed his clothes, cooked for him and let him stay over my house and try to please him anyway possible. One day I called him after work and he said he was with a friend an he was but with another girl his friend and his friend wife like a double date cuz I checked his ig. Then he was in the girls ig of pix of only himself so put 2 an 2 together I called him complained no answer till after midnight he then said I was insecure stalking his social media and broke up with me an said he lost interest in our relationship after 3months he said thag girl was a friend but after 3 days after our break up he took a pic with him an her at the gym and he still dating this girl. I've tried to get over this but he still contacting me saying he misses me but doesn't want to be with me an that it makes him feel better to talk to me. An he said I want to see u but don't confuse it with me wanting to get back I just miss u. I love him and I know he's bad for me but I don't want to lose him. What do u guys think I should do. Help..... any advice is welcomed.
Crashandburn Posted October 1, 2013 Posted October 1, 2013 samaya...I feel for you. I am sorry you are being treated this way. I used to really hold on to men that were abusive, cheating and hurtful. I used to always hope they would come around to love me a little bit more.. But have you re-read everything you wrote? Try reading this as if your best friend wrote it? What would you tell her? HE IS A J*RK and needs to get over himself that's what. He obviously doesn't care for you as actions speak more than words. He says he misses you but he really just misses your attention. Are you really happy to be with him? You should ask yourself why you would want to hold onto such a inconsiderate and selfish person... Are you happy with yourself? Do you think you can't do better? Believe me there a lot of men MUCH better than that. I hope you can see that you are way better than this and that you have the power to let him go. You have lots of insecurities and you need to see that. It takes a lot of work though and its easy to be blinded by your fears. The forgiveness you have for him is not a weak thing though, you are trying to see the best in people and there is a reason for you to care for him(you have hope)... But accepting this behavior of his and not being able to do what is best for you knowing he doesn't care for you is your weakness. I can promise you this if he doesn't want to change for you HE WILL NOT CHANGE. He has no reason to since you are letting him be this way. I'm sure you've heard the phrase "You need to love yourself before finding true happiness" Loving yourself is being able to walk away from guys like this. I hope you can see him and say you have some great qualities and I think you are amazing for that but you can't make me happy because of EVERYTHING else. Thanks but no thanks. I "Hope" you will find your way but not with me. Its going to be VERY hard but I promise that if you have the AHA moment everything will get a lot easier. 1
Author samaya09 Posted October 2, 2013 Author Posted October 2, 2013 samaya...I feel for you. I am sorry you are being treated this way. I used to really hold on to men that were abusive, cheating and hurtful. I used to always hope they would come around to love me a little bit more.. But have you re-read everything you wrote? Try reading this as if your best friend wrote it? What would you tell her? HE IS A J*RK and needs to get over himself that's what. He obviously doesn't care for you as actions speak more than words. He says he misses you but he really just misses your attention. Are you really happy to be with him? You should ask yourself why you would want to hold onto such a inconsiderate and selfish person... Are you happy with yourself? Do you think you can't do better? Believe me there a lot of men MUCH better than that. I hope you can see that you are way better than this and that you have the power to let him go. You have lots of insecurities and you need to see that. It takes a lot of work though and its easy to be blinded by your fears. The forgiveness you have for him is not a weak thing though, you are trying to see the best in people and there is a reason for you to care for him(you have hope)... But accepting this behavior of his and not being able to do what is best for you knowing he doesn't care for you is your weakness. I can promise you this if he doesn't want to change for you HE WILL NOT CHANGE. He has no reason to since you are letting him be this way. I'm sure you've heard the phrase "You need to love yourself before finding true happiness" Loving yourself is being able to walk away from guys like this. I hope you can see him and say you have some great qualities and I think you are amazing for that but you can't make me happy because of EVERYTHING else. Thanks but no thanks. I "Hope" you will find your way but not with me. Its going to be VERY hard but I promise that if you have the AHA moment everything will get a lot easier. Thank you for your words I feel very lost everyone says I'm beautiful and get approached all the time by men but still feel real bad that the man that I love is doing this, I know I need to learn to love myself just like you I've been thru relationships where I was cheated on or verbally abused but I accepted this man cause I thought he was different an I love him but know he is bad for me but don't think I can mov e on without him I feel dumb for allowing someone this power over me but I don't know how to move on. I'm guna try my best since I have a daughter and don't Want her to think this is how a man treats a woman again thank u your words empowered me to know I'm not alone on this and more ppl went or are going thru this.
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