beelibra Posted October 1, 2013 Posted October 1, 2013 (edited) NEED INSIGHT please take a moment to read!! So my boyfriend and I have been dating for six months now. Were in a long distance relationship, me in California and him in Arizona but we see eachother every 2-3 weeks. In February, two months before we started talking, his babys mother and him broke up after an ugly split from her cheating. She who also lives out here, still wants him back and I know he doesn't care about her. He was over the relationship before it ended, and he's very reassuring to me that there is absolutely nothing there. He's the perfect boyfriend, honest and real about his feelings and I do believe him on this. We both are very much in love with one another, and are taking our relationship seriously. I have a child too so I understand what these issues are like. Were waiting for things to blow over and her be more accepting that its done with and things are progressing with us and were in love. He deals with a lot of crap from her, especially since her son is in California too. She was living with him when they split, and just this weekend I was at his house. She came to pick up her son and picked up the rest of her stuff too and I know this didnt affect him, he was relieved. Well Saturday night we were out with friends and he introduced me to some friends as his ex. He didnt catch it but the rest of our friends did, and when I had told him he couldnt believe himself. He felt so bad, and told me it was nothing like that, hes just been dealing with so much crap from her lately and that he wasnt thinking. He told me his heart hurt so badly and was very upset with himself all night bringing it up to me and apologizing throughout the night...he almost choked up because he felt so bad. I forgave him, and dont mean to bring up issues that are already hashed out, especially with our distance and it being difficult enough. But we are very open with eachother, and I cant help but question it. This man shows no care for her, I believe him that he doesnt have any feelings for her whatsoever, and that he really does love me. He treats me like a queen and is just wonderful...what could be the explanation to this? A simple mistake that I shouldnt overthink and continue to let go? Or should I think a little more into it? I know things picked up soon for us after they split, but what we have is the real thing, not a simple relationship that just happened after. I dont know what to think about this and its starting to hurt inside. I already cant stand the face that she wants him back and despises me for being with him. He is very respectful and wants to keep ammends with her, especially with her control over their child and shes the spiteful type. But maybe hes caring a little too much of her opinion with everything and their communication may be more then it should be while she is still wanting him back, and thats why he slipped? My ex and I went through the same situation, but split a while ago. Were very civil and just friends now and both are very accepting of our current relationships. But while he was wanting me back I made sure to show there was nothing more to talk about then our daughter. Any honest and thoughtful advice is so appreciated. Please try not to be hasty because this man has my heart, and understand that we are in love...this is a very fragile subject for me. Thank you so much for your time reading! Edited October 1, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Created readable paragraphs
Tony T Posted October 1, 2013 Posted October 1, 2013 It's absurd to give this any thought at all. People make mistakes, people slip up. People are human. He feels bad enough. Why drag it out. If you want to get along in this world of human beings, you better learn to forgive and forget now because you've got a LOT of it to do in the future. People screw up all the time. It's called life. Give your boyfriend a big hug. Tell him it's totally over with and forgotten...BUT if he ever does it again the people at LoveShack advised you to knock him over the head with a baseball bat and shoot him...haha! 2
Polak Posted October 1, 2013 Posted October 1, 2013 Agreed. Easy mistake to make considering all that he is going through. He sounds like a really heartfelt guy. Forgive and forget!
string of letters Posted October 1, 2013 Posted October 1, 2013 Sigmund Freud did a vast amount of damage in his lifetime and is still doing it from beyond the grave. The concept of 'Freudian slips' probably has a grain of truth, but ultimately it misleads people because it makes them over-vigilant. The vast majority of slips that people make when speaking do not have any larger significance, do not reflect 'secret wishes' etc. I think you can relax!
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