Vinsanity1307 Posted October 1, 2013 Posted October 1, 2013 Here is my original story comments are appreciated. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/417902-dumped-after-5-years I am 2.5 months post break up and I feel is though I am not getting any better. When alone I have my breakdowns at home. It is like the walls are talking all the memories we had together. I am still going to work and the gym but still have the anxiety almost daily. I am seeing a counselor but I still feel I should be at a better point seeing I am close to 90 days since the BU. I seem to be crying alot lately and feel like there is no hope or light at the end of the tunnel. I miss my ex so much. I am also craving her the past few days (physically) which worries me as well seeing its been so long. Any advice I feel like I am screwed and am going to have this pain forever.
Salvatore85 Posted October 1, 2013 Posted October 1, 2013 Bro I was with my ex for 5 years as well, it's been 7 months now and I still have my bad days. You're not going to be over this in 2.5 months. 3
Polak Posted October 1, 2013 Posted October 1, 2013 It does take a while... I was with my ex for 2 years and only after a full year I feel completely recovered. Don't sweat it. I think it's great that you are taking some extra steps such as seeing a counselor. I held out on my own and no doubt that made it a longer process. It wasn't until the year of healing that I finally understood the saying "time heals all wounds"....
Bubberfly Posted October 1, 2013 Posted October 1, 2013 (edited) Mmm, it's tough. Sharing a life with someone for 5 whole years and then they're gone (I was with my ex for six). All the plans you had together, all the things you shared. I promise, it does get better. I still find myself in a store and thinking,"oh! He'd love this!" I'm still at that time in my breakup where this thought is painful. I want to cry. Or scream. Or buy it anyway and throw it at his head (jk) But... I like to equate it to less romantic love. I do the same for my grandmother who passed away 12 years ago. I see something in a store, and think, "oh! She'd love this!" I then smile at the memory of her, sigh and then the moment is gone. You will get better. You'll have your adjustment period, learning how to cope without her. You'll no longer want to cry or scream or throw thins when you see that thing in the store she'd love. And then eventually, before you know it, you'll be smiling again. And buying something special for someone new in your life. Edited October 1, 2013 by Bubberfly
Simon Phoenix Posted October 1, 2013 Posted October 1, 2013 What you are feeling is completely normal. Most people aren't over their ex in 2.5 months. I bet you are recovering at a better pace than you give yourself credit for. Unfortunately time is the solution -- time and being active. It's a process, and it's a process full of ups and downs. You'll find over time that the ups will make you more up while the downs will make you less down though.
OJ loved Nicole Posted October 1, 2013 Posted October 1, 2013 Bro I was with my ex for 5 years as well, it's been 7 months now and I still have my bad days. You're not going to be over this in 2.5 months. ^^This^^ and time alone isn't going to help by itself. You need to actively heal. 2 things you MUST do and will exponentially increase your recovery rate. 1.) Actively grieve- This means crying it out but productively. Not "I love her, why did she leave, I want her back" instead you need to focus on the loss. Pretend she's dead and focus your grieving (crying) on never experiencing anything with her again. "She's gone forever, she's never coming back, I will never hold her again". Really lean into the pain, the pain of your loss. 2.) Picture her with other men- Just the thought of that stings doesn't it? However, this is essential in recovery. Close yourself in your room, close your eyes and think of her in the nastiest sexual positions with other men. You might puke in the beginning, but within 1 week you see a marked change. This is active healing, forcing the pain to you like a damn breaking vs letting it trickle over months/years. I didn't invent this (Dan Dennick did) but I used it.
Author Vinsanity1307 Posted October 1, 2013 Author Posted October 1, 2013 So my thoughts and actions are all normal?
ConfusedHumanBeing Posted October 1, 2013 Posted October 1, 2013 So my thoughts and actions are all normal? yuuuuuuuuup <------10 characters 1
Recommended Posts