Zoyalover Posted October 1, 2013 Posted October 1, 2013 I have been broken up with my ex since May of this year but I have not been able to "shake" him. We were together for a year and 4 months, spent time together, and talked on the phone since the day that we met in person. Simply put, our relationship was intense. After being together for 9 months I moved in with him but left 6 months later due to the break up. It all started off when we were introduced by a mutual friend that we have, we met and basically fell in love. A lot happened while we were together including me being extremely insecure and him being depressed. Due to those things we stopped communicating and fell apart. Since we have been broken up I have not initiated contact since July, any other time we have contact he initiates it. I failed to mention that I didn't really want to break up with him but one day I had had it with feeling disrespected by him due to him constantly texting his female friend. Prior to that he said that he said that he felt like he could not make me happy and suggested that we break up... It was a mutual decision but he maintains his stance of not wanting to be with me. I have asked him several times if he wanted to start over. Initially he said I don't know, and then yes, and now the answer as of last week is not now. We love each other very much, but I'm not sure if we could be together since he feels that we have "fundamental differences." I told him last week that I am going to start dating again and he basically said okay. On my end moving forward and dating again will include not talking to him until I get over my feelings for him and he knows this and has expressed a desire for us to meet up and talk again I have been trying to avoid thinking about what he could have to say. I feel like he had ample time to tell he how he feels and has since his answer to being together again has always been no. I am sick of the up and down, yet my heart still desires him. Is there anyone else in this situation or close to it? Thanks, Z
reddragon588 Posted October 1, 2013 Posted October 1, 2013 I think almost all of us are in that situation until we initiate NC. You may not initiate contact, but you are reciprocating it when he initiates it. Every time you talk to him you are taking a step back in your recovery and that's why you haven't been able to "shake" him. The time you spend talking to him is time taken away from you talking to and meeting your next boyfriend. 1
Author Zoyalover Posted October 1, 2013 Author Posted October 1, 2013 The time you spend talking to him is time taken away from you talking to and meeting your next boyfriend. That line touched me... you are so right, thank you. 1
reddragon588 Posted October 1, 2013 Posted October 1, 2013 That line touched me... you are so right, thank you. Thank you. I just realized this myself recently. I've been really good about NC but I have been thinking about my ex a lot still, and I realized that as long as my focus is on her, my focus isn't on who the next lady in my life will be. 1
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