amlove89 Posted October 1, 2013 Posted October 1, 2013 At the beginning of summer I met a guy and gained interest, the first time we met we hit it off great. He made jokes to make me laugh, I flirted a little to show my interest and at the end of the night we watched a movie, cuddled and held hands. I'm 23 but have never been intimate with a man and that was the first time I allowed myself to be affectionate. I do admit that I am use to guys pursuing me and it would turn me off easily, but this guy did the opposite. He did not pursue me at all. Yes, it increased my interest tremendously. I began to text him casually maybe showing too much interest, and then we hooked up a few times(minus sex). He never actively pursued me like by texting me on his own or even trying to hang out with me. I thought he just wanted to hook up, but then the last time we hooked up at the end of summer, I asked him why he hasn't tried to get to know me and if he even had a genuine interest in me. He replied and said he liked me a lot, but was scared to open up because he was protecting himself and didn't want to get hurt. He even asked me questions about my past in efforts of getting to know me. I went out of town for a week and did not text him. When I got back I texted him and while we were texting he saw me with another boy laughing. After this he began to act like a douche by not responding to my texts(which he never did). Finally I got upset and asked him why he was acting the way he was he responded immaturely and I told him I was wasting my time with him. Its been 2 months and I have not text him since. School has started now and I see him quite often, he actually lives right across from my dorm(figures:/). He has attempted to say hi to me a few times, at first I responded but now I am fully ignoring him. This past weekend I saw him while returning to a party and he preceded to stare intently at me, I still ignored him. He even tried to say hi the next day and I didn't even look at him. I am aware that I made myself too available and maybe even came across as needy; and that is why he didn't respect me. But now that I am gaining that respect by ignoring his existence, how do I get him to text me and to show more interest? Or is it too late? I still like him very much even though he sounds like a douche we did have a few nice times together.
TB Rhine Posted October 1, 2013 Posted October 1, 2013 This is the most bald-face display of childish game-playing I've ever heard tale of. 1
Vyliss Posted October 1, 2013 Posted October 1, 2013 This is the most bald-face display of childish game-playing I've ever heard tale of. 100% agree.
Imported Posted October 1, 2013 Posted October 1, 2013 OP, ignoring a guy will work. So long as magical fairies (as if there are any other kinds of fairies@!) fly out of your butt and shoot love arrows at the guy you like. However, if there are no magical fairies in your butt to do all the dirty work for you, you might want to try flirting with him. 1
ses Posted October 1, 2013 Posted October 1, 2013 Ignoring someone will never result in anything beneficial. Nobody likes to play games, and it's tiresome to try to do it. If he liked you he would've made an effort to get to know you better. The best thing now is to move on from the situation and learn from it.
cif Posted October 1, 2013 Posted October 1, 2013 Start by responding when he says hello. Proceed from there. 2
btc8 Posted October 1, 2013 Posted October 1, 2013 I guess turn it around on you: Would your interest be increased if the guy you kept contacting ignored you? Just wondering.
truth_seeker Posted October 1, 2013 Posted October 1, 2013 You give the guy every impression you dislike him and want nothing to do with him... but hope he will contact you? Huh? Anyway, here's the answer to your question: talk to him. 1
TB Rhine Posted October 1, 2013 Posted October 1, 2013 Oh, don't get me wrong; it'll work. I just think it's a horrible thing to do, regardless. At least have the decency to be appropriately self-deluded about your behavior.
coolheadal Posted October 1, 2013 Posted October 1, 2013 Well I must say this one is for the books! Why are you playing these head games and the guy already has issues getting hurt. You need to quit while your ahead of the game here. Your intent is that you like the guy a lot but rather play dumb and blind that he's not around. Yet you see him and he sees you. What is this guy suppose to think of you. Then you get anxious and want to talk to him but pull back into your shell. Your making things so complex if they guy was smart enough to see your little game your dealing a lousy deck on him. Right now pull in what ever it is your doing and go up him and give him a BIG KISS! Tell him your very sorry for mistreating the why you have been. Otherwise this guy will find someone and then you'll be sorry. So enough of your nonsense and get this guy back into your life as you do say you want him in there. You have wasted some much time already pushing him away! If you don't want this guy then drop everything and go find someone else to do this mind wash game your doing on this one guy!
Carenth Posted October 1, 2013 Posted October 1, 2013 Might work on someone who is has no self worth, insecure and desperate. Otherwise its just silly childish mind games.
Author amlove89 Posted October 1, 2013 Author Posted October 1, 2013 I am very aware of the fact that this was a game! But on the other hand why should I give so much to get little in return? YES, I like him and I am not trying to make this a complex situation just for the sake of having fun and not loosing interest in someone. He is the one that mistreated me, and Im supposed to to sit back and take his crap? . I think, me, ignoring him is the very least "mistreatment" he could receive from me. Maybe I should move on, but I do like him. My question was not "what do you guys think of his situation", it was how do I get him to respect me enough to text/ talk to me on his own rather than him thinking that if he says hi to me, im supposed to all the sudden be on his nuts.
FitChick Posted October 1, 2013 Posted October 1, 2013 OP's inexperience with boys is very obvious in her childish behavior. She is going to have to learn a few hard lessons before she makes any progress with them.
KatZee Posted October 1, 2013 Posted October 1, 2013 This is actually true for both genders... but I don't advocate using it for game playing. I noticed that if I'm into a guy, I show interest and the guy isn't as interested in me as much as the guys I blow off, sporadically talk to, will just drop off talking to, or just ignore. I'm not ignoring them to play games or be mean, I'm just not interested in them at all and it always causes them to chase me harder.
cif Posted October 1, 2013 Posted October 1, 2013 I guess turn it around on you: Would your interest be increased if the guy you kept contacting ignored you? Just wondering. No. I dont like mind games. However ime when you ignore guys they try harder. The problem is knowing when to stop before they lose interest or stop trying.
FitChick Posted October 1, 2013 Posted October 1, 2013 In the meantime this guy will meet a girl who is nice and treats him well and doesn't try to control him or punish him for imagined transgressions.
truth_seeker Posted October 1, 2013 Posted October 1, 2013 (edited) I am very aware of the fact that this was a game! But on the other hand why should I give so much to get little in return? YES, I like him and I am not trying to make this a complex situation just for the sake of having fun and not loosing interest in someone. He is the one that mistreated me, and Im supposed to to sit back and take his crap? . I think, me, ignoring him is the very least "mistreatment" he could receive from me. Maybe I should move on, but I do like him. My question was not "what do you guys think of his situation", it was how do I get him to respect me enough to text/ talk to me on his own rather than him thinking that if he says hi to me, im supposed to all the sudden be on his nuts. Unbelievable. You know how to get back at him? You tell him why you're not talking to him - because he was a jerk to you. If he really likes you, he will come to you and try to make things right. Edited October 1, 2013 by truth_seeker
truth_seeker Posted October 1, 2013 Posted October 1, 2013 This is actually true for both genders... but I don't advocate using it for game playing. I noticed that if I'm into a guy, I show interest and the guy isn't as interested in me as much as the guys I blow off, sporadically talk to, will just drop off talking to, or just ignore. I'm not ignoring them to play games or be mean, I'm just not interested in them at all and it always causes them to chase me harder. So, you're into them but if they do not reciprocate the same level of interest, you lose interest completely, and they chase you harder?
Atem Posted October 1, 2013 Posted October 1, 2013 OP - you're an immature idiot. I could try to give you advice but since little girls like you who are self-centered beyond belief are the reason for why many guys get bitter and complain about "game-playing bitches", I'll just call you an idiot and leave it at that. You may be young at 23 but immaturity is no excuse for this nonsense... Someone else said that if you make yourself scarce, then the other party (guy or gal) will chase you harder. Well no-****ing-**** Sherlock. Limited supply results in increased demand. Nothing new under the sun.... With that said - two reasonable adult who genuinely like each other will not play these retarded games. Those games are usually reserved for people who try to boost their self-worth by playing hard to get, which makes them immediately drop-worthy - or at least, I drop people who act like that right away - not worth the time and trouble
crederer Posted October 1, 2013 Posted October 1, 2013 In the last few months I've been on dates with a few girls. Not really all that interested in them so I basically ignored them and holy hell, I've never gotten so much attention from a girl before in my life. I didn't intentionally do it to get them to "chase" me, I just wasn't all that interested and it seems to be something women (at least these women) are attracted to....... Don't know if it's just a coincidence or something about the psyche of women that makes this happen.
bubbaganoosh Posted October 1, 2013 Posted October 1, 2013 Why don't you try the adult way and just ask him if there is a problem and if there is, then listen and talk it out. For all you know it could be a great big misunderstanding. If not, then at least you cleared the air and then move on. Playing this game of who can ignore the best is not doing you or him any good. It's rather childish. Just ask. I'll bet he won't bite your head off.
crederer Posted October 1, 2013 Posted October 1, 2013 Yah I gotta agree with Bubba. Just don't get your hopes too high as it is likely this person simply isn't interested, but it doesn't hurt to talk about it.
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