Cocodainty Posted October 1, 2013 Posted October 1, 2013 Hello, I recently posted here about an ex but the thread was very long. In short we broke up pretty much on mutual terms, both cried a lot and he kept texting me afterwards. We established we just needed a few weeks but never really was clear if this was a break or a breakup. In the meantime, I've been having a lot of fun, went on holiday with all my girlfriends and been on a lot of nights out clubbing. I was the first to break NC with him after a month, just a pretty lame text asking how he's been doing. No response, so I decided to give it one last try a week later. Told him I was thinking about him, and received a reply then telling me that he's had a horrible month, that his mums been in hospital. I felt awful, especially as I knew she'd been unwell for a while, so I told him I hope she would get better soon and that things would improve. For the first time I properly looked at his Facebook page. His "In a relationship" status is still up though I hid my status so it doesn't show up with my name on his. At first it didnt really mean anything to me I just guessed he forgot. Then about a week later all these pictures started coming up on my news feed and he has my bobbles on his wrist. Id basically left these two specifics hair ties at his place at the start of our relationship and he always made a big deal about keeping them on his arm. It's been two months today now and he's still got one of them on in more recent photos. It's starting to make me wonder, along with the unchanged relationship status (which I know by now would be pointed out by family/friends) and I know that he isn't seeing anyone else. Anyway, he texted me a week ago to explain that its been a really tough time for him, and that when his mum was home and feeling better maybe we can go out for a drink if I want to. I replied a few hours later that Im there if he ever wants to talk about it and that I'd like to go for a drink, but I told him to take his time with everything going on for him. It's foolish but I'm getting my hopes up a little, I would like a reconciliation but he seems very busy atm with everything going on, and unlike what I've had going on, it sounds really dark for him. I do worry when I see all these photos being put up and he looks pale, really skinny with an unshaven face. He just looks poorly :/ looking really for an outsiders view and maybe some advice on the future meet-up? Thank you! X
Polak Posted October 1, 2013 Posted October 1, 2013 So I'm thinking he is wearing the bobbles on himself as a reminder of the good times he had with you (because he is now in a moment of bad times). Considering his mom is ending up at the hospital frequently, and he doesn't have you anymore, I would say he is under some heavy stress at the moment, hence his lesser appearance in photos. I don't think there's anything wrong with going for some drinks. And if you are wondering about a reconciliation... He's still got the same FB relationship status, he's wearing your stuff, etc., so I bet he's still got you on his mind. Which means he should be open for a reconciliation as well. Only one way to find out! 1
Ansem Posted October 1, 2013 Posted October 1, 2013 He pretty much still loves you, if you care about him and aren't just playing with him then end the poor man's suffering. Then again, you say the breakup was mutual but are you sure he wasn't just agreeing with whatever you wanted?
ConfusedHumanBeing Posted October 1, 2013 Posted October 1, 2013 Hello, I recently posted here about an ex but the thread was very long. In short we broke up pretty much on mutual terms, both cried a lot and he kept texting me afterwards. We established we just needed a few weeks but never really was clear if this was a break or a breakup. In the meantime, I've been having a lot of fun, went on holiday with all my girlfriends and been on a lot of nights out clubbing. I was the first to break NC with him after a month, just a pretty lame text asking how he's been doing. No response, so I decided to give it one last try a week later. Told him I was thinking about him, and received a reply then telling me that he's had a horrible month, that his mums been in hospital. I felt awful, especially as I knew she'd been unwell for a while, so I told him I hope she would get better soon and that things would improve. For the first time I properly looked at his Facebook page. His "In a relationship" status is still up though I hid my status so it doesn't show up with my name on his. At first it didnt really mean anything to me I just guessed he forgot. Then about a week later all these pictures started coming up on my news feed and he has my bobbles on his wrist. Id basically left these two specifics hair ties at his place at the start of our relationship and he always made a big deal about keeping them on his arm. It's been two months today now and he's still got one of them on in more recent photos. It's starting to make me wonder, along with the unchanged relationship status (which I know by now would be pointed out by family/friends) and I know that he isn't seeing anyone else. Anyway, he texted me a week ago to explain that its been a really tough time for him, and that when his mum was home and feeling better maybe we can go out for a drink if I want to. I replied a few hours later that Im there if he ever wants to talk about it and that I'd like to go for a drink, but I told him to take his time with everything going on for him. It's foolish but I'm getting my hopes up a little, I would like a reconciliation but he seems very busy atm with everything going on, and unlike what I've had going on, it sounds really dark for him. I do worry when I see all these photos being put up and he looks pale, really skinny with an unshaven face. He just looks poorly :/ looking really for an outsiders view and maybe some advice on the future meet-up? Thank you! X If you broke up on "mutual terms", then what did you do to make yourself better? What about him? Nothing has changed in THAT small of a window. He wants companionship right now because of his mother. BAM there you are. Once the heelings is done, the same s*** is going to pop up. Too soon to get a "drink", too soon to hang out, and too soon to still be talking to him. 1
reddragon588 Posted October 1, 2013 Posted October 1, 2013 Be careful, don't just jump at the chance and consider it rationally. Go into the meeting expecting nothing, and if something happens, think it through before acting. Like the poster above me said, consider what you've done to improve yourself, and make sure he's been working to do the same.
cavalier99 Posted October 1, 2013 Posted October 1, 2013 Seeing him is an all around BAD BAD idea. You arnt recovered yet. Dont go. Stay NC. You are just going to set back your healing a ton. If he really wanted to get back together hed let you know in no uncertain terms and even then id be super hesitant. There is reason you broke up and didnt work on things and that reamins the same. Rock On! Cav
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