Cfb770099 Posted September 30, 2013 Posted September 30, 2013 Do you find waiting 3 days (which means writing on the fourth) too long without any texts? We´ve been out 4 times and he kissed me last time we were out. I think now he´s waiting for me to initiate contact with him this time, since he´s been the one doing it most often and since he was the one to kiss me. I felt writing during the weekend was too early and today was a quite busy day. However I feel that now I really want to hear from him again and I´m looking forward to seeing him again. But do you think he will think I´m not that interested if I wait 3 days without writing after last time we saw each other and write to him tomorrow afternoon, i.e. 4 days after last outing? How often o people generally wait? And how/how soon/how often should the woman initiate contact?
Leigh 87 Posted September 30, 2013 Posted September 30, 2013 3 - 4 days is too long for me, personally. I tried it with a guy like that in August; in person, he seemed realllly into me. Saying how amazing I was. He wanted to see me every day from day 1 pretty much, just to spend time with me without the sex. Yet, over the long weekend when he was working for 3 days straight and he was legit busy, he did not shoot me ONE text. He never texted much, come to think of it. At all. I can't tolerate a guy who NEVER texts when we are not together. Everyone has their phones on them, and while this is not necessarily a GOOD thing, I believe that if a guy is thinking of you and you are on his mind, he will text you good morning OR goodnight MOST days. .......... Here is what I need in a guy, and here is what I find a lot of women need in the early dating stage.... The new guy has texted me daily. He has only known me about 3 weeks. He is not an overly needy or insecure guy. He does not text excessively but he makes a note to want to text me daily quiet often at times, albeit sometimes we go hours without talking or he will not say goodnight (but say good morning next day). Granted, there ARE people who prefer to text every 2 or more days. They prefer to lavish their partner with love and attention when they are together in person. Not everyone are texters or phone people, and that is totally fine, providing YOU'RE comfortable with that. Personally, I am not comfortable with minimal texting, and I like a guy who texts daily because it reinforces his feelings for me if we get stimulation from conversation during the day. I can also see that this age of texting and facebook is ridiculous, and I can totally see how some people just think, eff this, I want to SEE my partner and to hell with all the texting and calling. ........................... Bottom line: you're here asking, therefore there must be some element of uncertainty as to your new guys behaviour. Look, if he is giving you every other sign that he is very much into you, I would at LEAST give him a shot at letting him show you his true colours. If he is not acting really into you with his other actions AND he is not texting often, I would date others and leave this guy as an option (who could prove himself later on. IF you're still single and interested, that is!). A guy regularly texting you CAN be a good indicator that you're on his mind, however; so too, is regular and consistent weekends a guy sets aside to spend with you, kind gestures, and just a guy who generally makes you feel special:love: If all the other signs are lining up that point to him being into you, let this texting thing slide for now. I would rather a guy text daily, however; I could give it at least a month or so trial with a low texting guy, if he otherwise acted like he was head over heals for me.
Phantom888 Posted September 30, 2013 Posted September 30, 2013 Who makes the rules that 3-4 days is or isn't too long? If you want to text him, then do it. If you want to call him, then do it. If it offends him when you contact him, then he's not right for you. Simple. I really think it's a waste of time wondering "when" it's acceptable to call/text. I mean, you make the rules, and if the guy doesn't appreciate your style then forget him. By 4th date, if the guy really likes you, he would be excited to hear from you. He would take the initiative. You never should wonder. 3-4 days with no contact = not interested. I mean, how much effort does it take to text: "hello " ????! 1
Leigh 87 Posted September 30, 2013 Posted September 30, 2013 Also - my guy went a day without texting - as he was waiting until I texted first, to see how long it would take me! He normally texts good morning every day. One day he didn't, I was tired and busy and I did not get around to it until mid afternoon. When I did text him first that day, he said " I would have loved a good morning text:(" and " I was waiting to see how long it took you to text me first:( " and " I am a but upset it took you all day to text me:( " He explained that he wanted ME to meet him half way; he always initiated the daily texts, and he also wanted to feel that I was just as into him too. Just a thought. How hard is it to text "hello:)" though, as Phantom888 says. He is either waiting for YOU to text HIM (if he has been initiating everything so far), he is not that into you and therefore is not putting in much effort and your not on his mind often, OR he is just not into texting.
Carenth Posted September 30, 2013 Posted September 30, 2013 These silly mind games are for teenagers and the seriously insecure. If you want to message him then message him. This I need to wait x amount of days crap is so childish. I've dropped pretty much everyone who pulled this on me.
btc8 Posted October 1, 2013 Posted October 1, 2013 Who makes the rules that 3-4 days is or isn't too long? If you want to text him, then do it. If you want to call him, then do it. If it offends him when you contact him, then he's not right for you. Simple. I really think it's a waste of time wondering "when" it's acceptable to call/text. I mean, you make the rules, and if the guy doesn't appreciate your style then forget him. By 4th date, if the guy really likes you, he would be excited to hear from you. He would take the initiative. You never should wonder. 3-4 days with no contact = not interested. I mean, how much effort does it take to text: "hello " ????! The best advice ^. These 'rules' on contacting are pretty stupid and a load of crap, in most cases. If you are genuinely interested in one another, texting back and forth, regardless of how much time has elapsed between, should really go without saying. Another important thing is that texts, in my opinion, while easy, are sometimes impersonal. Give him a call every once and a while! Sometimes actually talking to the person every few days will satisfy what 1000 texts can't.
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