alicia24 Posted November 29, 2004 Posted November 29, 2004 My boyfriend that I care very deeply for doesnt think that he wants to get married. I am not pressuring him in any way its just that eventually i would like to be married and have a family. He said that maybe in few years from now it may be something that he will want. His parents had a really messed up marriage and he feels very negative about the whole thing. My question is.......what should i do. Should I stay with him or end it. I cant wait around hoping that he will eventually want to get married, and at the same time i dont want to leave him. We have a really good relationship. Advice please!!
tiki Posted November 29, 2004 Posted November 29, 2004 How old are you guys? How long have you two been together?
Author alicia24 Posted November 29, 2004 Author Posted November 29, 2004 we are 24 and we have been together for about 8 months
alphamale Posted November 29, 2004 Posted November 29, 2004 Originally posted by alicia24 My question is.......what should i do. Should I stay with him or end it. I cant wait around hoping that he will eventually want to get married, and at the same time i dont want to leave him. We have a really good relationship. Advice please!! Here is the rule, if he has not proposed to you by the 2 year anniversary of you both seriously dating then he most likely never will. This is a general rule of course. Many men, myself included, will string a woman along with promises of marriage down the road but usually it does not come to pass. You need to look out for yourself in this situation and he is just usuing his parents marriage as an excuse. Trust me I know because I am a boy too!
tiki Posted November 29, 2004 Posted November 29, 2004 Yeah, give it a little more time. If he cannot commit to one day being together in that capacity, tell him you must move on. It's only fair to you.
killerlooks Posted November 29, 2004 Posted November 29, 2004 Eight months isn't that long. Give him some more time.
dnm1010 Posted December 1, 2004 Posted December 1, 2004 tell him how you feel.. make sure he knows what you want in the future...
heckno Posted December 1, 2004 Posted December 1, 2004 Yes, to everyone! Ok, maybe this will help you feel a bit better, although remember this is not always the case. My husband told me he thought he was never going to get married and most certainly didn't plan on it. His family thought the same thing. After a year of being together we tied the knot.. and everyone was shocked. I agree with the above, 2 years is a perfect rule. Anything more than that and he will drag it out and it probably wouldn't happen. I have a relative who has been engaged for a total of 20 years, ten years to two different women. Why? Cause he could. Please take the advice from the others and tell him what you want and expect for your future. You know, you'll continue to pursue things but you care for him enough that you'd love for it to end up somewhere significant in the future, but not too distant future. Make sure he not only listens to you, but UNDERSTANDS what you're saying. I'm sure he's grown enough to know he's not his parents, so that probably is an excuse. Yeah, marriage is a scary thing sometimes for younger men, but not sooooo scary that one would blow off the possible "one" if they knew it.
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