Hannah618 Posted September 30, 2013 Posted September 30, 2013 (edited) My beloved ******, I woke up this morning thinking how perfect our lives are and how we are about to move in to our own little home with our wedding only a sheer two months away. As usual I made you breakfast, treated you with sex in the shower and packed you lunch and sent you on your way to work. Little did I know a mere two hours later I would be crying my ****ing eyes out after discovering your little secret stash of photos of you and your slutty ex! Nice to know that the man of my dreams even kept a pair of panties to remind him of said ex girlfriend. So dearly beloved please do tell WHY?!? WHY?!? WHY!?! THE F@#% would you keep it? Do you long for her? Do you miss her? Are you thinking of her while we f@%#? I would imagine for 3 year relationship you would have gotten rid of it a long time ago but no clearly there is a part of you that miss her. I used to think very highly of you and I am not sure if I feel the same about you anymore. It hurts so freaking much *****!! Edited October 1, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Art_Critic Posted September 30, 2013 Posted September 30, 2013 In those 3 years has he ever left your side ? he is still with you and not with her ? Mementos.....panties might not be what I have kept but it is just a memento. I have plenty of pictures from ex's in my attic.. even from my ex wife but those are part of who I am and they belong in the attic as such and if anyone asked me to throw them out they'd have a fight on their hands. I have never looked at them but they are part of my past and I want to keep them. I think at this point you need to discus this with him, him having pictures of his ex isn't that big of a deal unless they were porn, porn should have been thrown out or deleted. If they were porn then you might need to kick his butt... Where did you find these ? 2
pteromom Posted September 30, 2013 Posted September 30, 2013 The panties are very odd, but the photos are not a big deal IMO. Of course, he should have kept them somewhere you wouldn't be coming across them. I don't see this as a dumpable offense.
Author Hannah618 Posted September 30, 2013 Author Posted September 30, 2013 In those 3 years has he ever left your side ? he is still with you and not with her ? Mementos.....panties might not be what I have kept but it is just a memento. I have plenty of pictures from ex's in my attic.. even from my ex wife but those are part of who I am and they belong in the attic as such and if anyone asked me to throw them out they'd have a fight on their hands. I have never looked at them but they are part of my past and I want to keep them. I think at this point you need to discus this with him, him having pictures of his ex isn't that big of a deal unless they were porn, porn should have been thrown out or deleted. If they were porn then you might need to kick his butt... Where did you find these ? I found them in a box in the garage with bunch of other stuff but what hurt me most was finding that thong in there. I am too upset to go through all the photos and left him with a nasty text message. I expect him to call soon Keeping a pair of panties is sickening
CarrieT Posted September 30, 2013 Posted September 30, 2013 I'm with PteroMom... People -- not just guys -- keep mementos of all sorts from past relationships. Guys are more sexual so it is not a big surprise that he has something sexual. Not pleasant, but not worth ending a relationship over unless the pictures are recent.
Art_Critic Posted September 30, 2013 Posted September 30, 2013 I found them in a box in the garage with bunch of other stuff but what hurt me most was finding that thong in there. I am too upset to go through all the photos and left him with a nasty text message. I expect him to call soon Keeping a pair of panties is sickening Garage = Attic I suppose... maybe he never thought he would have them that long when he put them in there and then forgot about them.. IMO it's only sickening if he used the panties for something other than sitting in the box never being looked at. I know your pissed but this might be being overblown if they have been in the garage for 3 years... Time to breath till you talk to him and breath some more....
Author Hannah618 Posted September 30, 2013 Author Posted September 30, 2013 Garage = Attic I suppose... maybe he never thought he would have them that long when he put them in there and then forgot about them.. IMO it's only sickening if he used the panties for something other than sitting in the box never being looked at. I know your pissed but this might be being overblown if they have been in the garage for 3 years... Time to breath till you talk to him and breath some more.... Maybe I am overreacting and it might be a case of it being there for years but I live in constant fear of him meeting someone better than me or even worse cheating on me. He still haven't replied to my messages and no answer to his phone. I just want answers!
Art_Critic Posted September 30, 2013 Posted September 30, 2013 I'd bet he is waiting for you to calm down... just a guess though.... and.. if the ex was better he'd been gone 2.5 years ago..
Author Hannah618 Posted September 30, 2013 Author Posted September 30, 2013 I'd bet he is waiting for you to calm down... just a guess though.... and.. if the ex was better he'd been gone 2.5 years ago.. What a way to ruin my day. When I saw her on the photo I just completely lost it...been googling for the last hour on signs of a cheating boyfriend and here I am venting like a psychopath. Sorry all for my swearing but I am so worked up and have been marching up and down the hallway waiting for his reply.
pteromom Posted September 30, 2013 Posted September 30, 2013 I live in constant fear of him meeting someone better than me or even worse cheating on me. That sounds like a terrible way to live! But this is a bigger issue than an old pair of panties and some photos. It's really about you being secure and content in your relationship. Has he ever given you any indication he would cheat? Any red flags? 2
harrybrown Posted September 30, 2013 Posted September 30, 2013 Not providing him with excuses, but I would try to calm down until he answers. It may not mean much to him but his past. If he is with you rather than her, that speaks volumes. Actions should be looked at as well as words.
Author Hannah618 Posted September 30, 2013 Author Posted September 30, 2013 That sounds like a terrible way to live! But this is a bigger issue than an old pair of panties and some photos. It's really about you being secure and content in your relationship. Has he ever given you any indication he would cheat? Any red flags? I think my insecurities stem from past relationships where I was cheated on a lot which left me with a very low self esteem. He is very attractive and I struggle to deal with the amount of attention that he is getting from other women and although he reassures me all the time that I am the girl for him, a part of me feels that someday he might give in to temptation. There are no red flags that I am aware of and he hasn't given me any reason not to trust him. I just despise his ex since she was still in the picture when we dating 3 years ago.
HokeyReligions Posted September 30, 2013 Posted September 30, 2013 Oh hon. I was there too. Lavender thong. And worse. It almost broke us up. After calming down and talking we worked it out. These things were packed away. Its not like he thinks about them. What things might you have tucked away that you haven't thought of in years? Ask him calmly and listen to him. 1
Author Hannah618 Posted September 30, 2013 Author Posted September 30, 2013 I feel like a complete idiot. I should have gone through all the photos before blowing up his phone. In one of the photos he is wearing the damn thong with his drunk friends which looks to be a college party. Still no reply to any of my messages.
barky2 Posted September 30, 2013 Posted September 30, 2013 (edited) Honestly...when I was broke up with my ex for a year I still had her undo britches at my house....even tho I was seeing someone. I don't think its truly a big deal....women maybe By on the flip,if my girl had a pair of speedos her ex bf use to wear....id prob think she was of her rocker. Quit flipping out and talk about it. If he wanted her hed be with her. Fact Barky Edited October 1, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
lollipopspot Posted September 30, 2013 Posted September 30, 2013 (edited) I don't really see what the big deal is about. I keep things stashed away all over the place that I've forgotten about, so I'd figure he does too. Edited October 1, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
HorseLuck Posted October 1, 2013 Posted October 1, 2013 I feel like a complete idiot. I should have gone through all the photos before blowing up his phone. In one of the photos he is wearing the damn thong with his drunk friends which looks to be a college party. Still no reply to any of my messages. He was probably expecting you to flip out. Don't text anymore, just leave it alone. Wait until he comes home. That gives you some additional time to calm down and rationalize. Try doing something else to take your mind off it for now?
SincereOnlineGuy Posted October 1, 2013 Posted October 1, 2013 (edited) It probably rates mention here that stuff like that isn't as easy to get rid of than is the box from last night's TV dinner. You can't haphazardly just leave it in the trash bins around the house, neighborhood, or office. You probably shouldn't burn it in any of those three arenas. And it probably isn't a wise idea to merely leave it behind upon rising from your seat on the subway. So I'm guessing that ***** just put those mementos together with other possessions and stored them in a spot where he believed he could control or restrict who might see/find them. If you believe that he is pleasuring himself nightly, weekly, or ever, to/with his ex girlfriend's old panties, then return here with that new evidence and challenge. Until then, at least contemplate that you might be overreacting... particularly if you have no evidence that he just assembled those possessions in that spot within the last 3 or 4 months. Edited October 1, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator 1
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