hugznkisses21 Posted November 29, 2004 Posted November 29, 2004 I think I have what they call relationship anxiety. I think partially it is due to my past relationships and my family relationship and self esteem due to my past….I have had a past filled with loss and guilt. Now that I am in a relationship where I am very much in love and with someone whom means everything to me it is out if full force and I am afraid I am going to drive him away with my worry and insecure feelings. I trust him…it isn’t about that. I am very fearful that I am always doing something wrong and he will leave me for it and find someone whom is better and whom does not have these anxietys so that he can have a better relationship. I can tell by asking him whats wrong and apologising for everything I do it does get to him after a while but I am terrified I am always doing wrong an that he is going to leave because of this. I am insecure and afraid to get hurt. I try my best I speak to a councellor and I try my best to think positive but I can not let go the hurt I have had before and how much I will be hurt is he is gone. I love him and he loves me we have been together for 1.5 years and I really want to do better so I do not drive him away. How can I be better for us cause he is worth is to me. I don’t want to drive him away but it is hard for me to think so positive when I have become so anxious. I constantly feel guilty for everything even if it isn’t my fault but I apologise cause I am afraid if I don’t he will get mad if I stand up for myself and will leave me…..or that he is thinking about leaving em when he has a few bad days (mmody cause of stress or just in a relaxing state) and isn’t as affectionate all the time…..Anyone help me with this….i want to change
moimeme Posted November 29, 2004 Posted November 29, 2004 Go to a physician and get checked out. You may have an anxiety disorder.
mandimay Posted November 29, 2004 Posted November 29, 2004 I had to read the post a couple of times because it almost sounds just like me. I am with a wonderful man...yet I can't go thru one day without creating some kind of drama. I think it's this feeling in my mind that if "I don't dump you, you will dump me." or that I feel that by creating issues and drama and getting mad over nothing he will come back with things like "Why are you doing this? I love you so much!" and this will make me feel better about the relationship. I had a bad childhood and then 2 horrible marriages. Counseling is the answer. I have scheduled myself an appointment and plan to stick to it...Not just for our relationship but for myself as well. The way I see it I do these things because in my life I have always been let down or abandoned...I hold onto these feelings of resentment and automatically assume that it will happen again. I've even ruined one perfectly good relationship because of this behavior in the past. Keep going to counseling! My bf and I had a huge talk last night and I told him "I can't promise I won't create some kind of drama again...because when I am doing it I feel completely justified in my reasoning...then later on I will think 'What on earth were you doing?' But I will try my best." That's all you can do. Good luck to you, Mandimay
Author hugznkisses21 Posted November 29, 2004 Author Posted November 29, 2004 She sent me to the councellor.....and so far it helps but oly for short term right now
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