browneyed Posted September 30, 2013 Posted September 30, 2013 Reading the threads here its apparent that NC is difficult and most of the time one party or another breaks it. So I'm curious what everyone's experience has been since they are all different. What do we think about a MM that promises NC with the OW after d-day has happened and actually sticks to it? How often does this happen? Or is it always just a matter of time before they break NC? What's the longest some have gone NC before it was broken? How many have truly never heard from their MM again?
Goodbye Posted September 30, 2013 Posted September 30, 2013 We had a d day of sorts in March. Or maybe not. Basically, I threatened to tell his wife if he didn't, so he claims he did. He may have told her something, but not likely anything close to the truth. Anyway, we then went NC. That lasted 3 months. He started contacting me over the summer, a little bit initially and then full out begging to reunite (and NO, he hadn't left his wife). We are back NC. Coming up on two weeks. I will have no contact with him if he is married. End of story. I'm prepared to do whatever it takes. So, the long answer to your question is 3 months. I'm sure there are many who never heard from their MM again. I think that could be the case for me going forward as I don't think my exMM could ever own up or leave his wife.
Patrice Posted September 30, 2013 Posted September 30, 2013 Good girl .. as usual, they look for bandaids to mend something wrong with HIM. Keep strong!!
cif Posted September 30, 2013 Posted September 30, 2013 What do we think about a MM that promises NC with the OW after d-day has happened and actually sticks to it? Knowing what I know now an MM that sticks with NC actually respects you. Because everytime he breaks it with crumbs. He could be apologizing or saying he's a free man, instead i assume he messages when his wife is pregnant or he gets bored, or his other OWs flake. How often does this happen? Or is it always just a matter of time before they break NC? Every few months. Although fingers crossed this time he will never contact me again. What I have seen IRL with any R not just A is peole come always come back,even years later. What's the longest some have gone NC before it was broken? 4 months with this x. 1
missy268 Posted October 1, 2013 Posted October 1, 2013 My ex AP wasn't married, he was just in a long term relationship with somebody. We went NC 6 months ago....this is the longest he has ever done it I truly believe this is it this time, it's hit me hard even though he is the biggest creep i've ever met! He had no respect for me, he never said we were going NC lol he just left me hanging. I had to go on my own quest to find out why, and I did find out.....Call it karma Before we went NC properly, it was every few months - last time it was 3 months but this time as i've said its been 6 - so he must be really happy now, or the talking to i gave him through text has made him realise he can't play me for a fool lol
Goodbye Posted October 1, 2013 Posted October 1, 2013 I suspect MM/MW who've had a "real" DDay are more likely to abide by NC than those whose affairs were never fully uncovered. I wonder if my exMM's W figured out something was up and he sweet talked her enough that once her guard was down again, he went back to contacting me.
Author browneyed Posted October 1, 2013 Author Posted October 1, 2013 I suspect MM/MW who've had a "real" DDay are more likely to abide by NC than those whose affairs were never fully uncovered. I wonder if my exMM's W figured out something was up and he sweet talked her enough that once her guard was down again, he went back to contacting me. Seems to be the case for my MM. D-day took place in a restaurant parking lot and involved standing face to face with the W and 2 PI's that she'd hired to follow us both for weeks (we didn't live in the same city). Was relatively calm considering and I found it surprising that he never once apologized to her and told her that we had discussed a future together. He had been in discussions with her (supposedly) to separate (I'd seen the separation agreement) so at the time this made sense. She was standing there in front of us telling him she still wanted a R with him. We kept in LC after that, he told her he wanted out (again supposedly) but she had thrown the "if you leave I will die" at him. He had figured out that she had messed with his laptop and possibly his phone also…and was completely unnerved by that. He asked me to give him some time to figure out what he was going to do, I believe at that point guilt had gotten the best of him. He disappeared after that, left me hanging. I broke NC 2 months after that to make him admit that he'd promised her NC and to say a few things of my own. Haven't heard from him since. I'm guessing unless he decides to leave at some point, I won't.
lilmisscantbewrong Posted October 1, 2013 Posted October 1, 2013 We had limited contact after the final D-day and then we saw each other one last time about 4 months later (met for a very sad event) and I talked on the phone with him one time 3 days later - told each other we loved each other and that was it. He never tried again. That was 3 1/2 years ago. There have been little things that I know have been meant for me, but now it's not enough, so I discard them. As for my husband's xow, there definitely has been limited contact. He has never told her "don't call ever again" nor written a "nc letter", so every now and then she waltzes back into the office (where she worked).
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