flacss7410 Posted September 23, 2013 Posted September 23, 2013 So my gf told me she wanted a break. we have been LDR for a few years and she moved here and now the break. I always thought a break was an easy way to lay me down, but I honeslty think she is really going through some stuff that she needs time to sort. She hanging with her friends more just living ..things she never got to do back at home. Has anyone ever been though a break and come back together stronger?? I know its rare, but I know to some it has happened. What are some tips in the meantime just let her contact me?? be there for her?? This is where Im stuck. She contacts me but not as much as before,,which I understand cause of the break concept..just trying not to worry is all
BC1980 Posted September 23, 2013 Posted September 23, 2013 Don't agree to a break. EVER. It's her way of keeping you hanging until she figures out what she wants. That is very unfair. It also makes you look so weak. I know you are scared, but there is a bigger chance she will leave after a break as opposed to completely breaking up actually. Tell her that you are either together or not. 1
Author flacss7410 Posted September 23, 2013 Author Posted September 23, 2013 because we had a LDR she said she wants to start from scratch and reconnect like a fresh couple something we were never able to do. Is this BS?? Thats where the break came from..
HereWeGoAgain1 Posted September 23, 2013 Posted September 23, 2013 I have been through this before. Sorry to say this but it's never a good thing and usually the start of the end. What you absolutely must do is go NC. Treat it as a break up and begin the healing process. It may work out just fine but you need to start preparing for the worst. If she does end it then at least you'll find it a little bit easier if you've already began working on yourself. Do not contact her AT ALL. Just leave her be and see what happens.
KatZee Posted September 23, 2013 Posted September 23, 2013 because we had a LDR she said she wants to start from scratch and reconnect like a fresh couple something we were never able to do. Is this BS?? Thats where the break came from.. This is the biggest load i've ever heard of. If you guys were in a LDR for years and she moved back, AND she was so into you and in love, she would be over the moon to be around you now and would be taking advantage of being so close to you now. I don't believe in breaks. You're either with me, or you're not. You're either working on the relationship, or not working on it. None of this limbo stuff. Breaks are more often than not, the cowardly way out of the relationship -OR- she wants to explore other options while keeping you on the back burner. This way, you have hope of getting back together, you don't move on, you sit and wait for her, and she goes and does whatever she wants to do. My ex and I were in a LDR for 19 months and he moved back home and pulled this stunt. 5 weeks later I actually found out it was because he met a girl at his new job and he wanted to date her. Also, a break doesn't mean that she gets to keep in touch whenever she wants. A TRUE break is almost a breakup, but it's only for a set amount of time- a week, a month. They should never carry on longer than a month and they shouldn't have any ambiguity to them. She should be able to say (if she really DOES want to get back with you) "listen I just need a couple weeks to get my stuff sorted, but I love you and thank you for understanding." If she's just being vague then it's really all just BS.
Author flacss7410 Posted September 24, 2013 Author Posted September 24, 2013 After a few posts..I believe that just giving her space will be the best. regardless of whats going on, If she wants me she will come and try and get me..Correct??
malin819 Posted September 24, 2013 Posted September 24, 2013 Yes and no Dont set your expectations too high because you will end up getting hurt again 1
reddragon588 Posted September 24, 2013 Posted September 24, 2013 If she wants you, then yes, she will come. That said, it is best to move forward with your life as though she won't. It is better for you to expect her to never come back and have her come back, then to expect her to come back and have her not come back. 2
malin819 Posted September 24, 2013 Posted September 24, 2013 If she wants you, then yes, she will come. That said, it is best to move forward with your life as though she won't. It is better for you to expect her to never come back and have her come back, then to expect her to come back and have her not come back. or they come back to have a sniff at your life but have no real intentions and you're like OMG She is back!!!! ye but you're back at square one 2
Author flacss7410 Posted September 24, 2013 Author Posted September 24, 2013 How should I act towards her, she still calls. Be a D?? be the "sweet guy" she loved before??
reddragon588 Posted September 24, 2013 Posted September 24, 2013 How should I act towards her, she still calls. Be a D?? be the "sweet guy" she loved before?? Don't be anything. Start ignoring her. If she wants you, she will be very clear about her intentions. She will spell out exactly that to you- I want to be in a relationship with you. Anything else is a waste of your time, and should be ignored. Unless you want to draw out the pain of the breakup.
malin819 Posted September 24, 2013 Posted September 24, 2013 Don't be anything. Start ignoring her. If she wants you, she will be very clear about her intentions. She will spell out exactly that to you- I want to be in a relationship with you. Anything else is a waste of your time, and should be ignored. Unless you want to draw out the pain of the breakup. follow this advice carefully..I didn't at first 1
barky2 Posted September 24, 2013 Posted September 24, 2013 Lol believe me...if they want to be with you they will move mountains and you will NOT question what their motives are. Until then its just petty bs Both statements I promise you. Barky 2
malin819 Posted September 24, 2013 Posted September 24, 2013 Lol believe me...if they want to be with you they will move mountains and you will NOT question what their motives are. Until then its just petty bs Both statements I promise you. Barky Barky my man!!! Your msgs always put an image in my head 2
barky2 Posted September 24, 2013 Posted September 24, 2013 Barky my man!!! Your msgs always put an image in my head Oh lawd that didn't sound right Barky 1
malin819 Posted September 24, 2013 Posted September 24, 2013 I can just imagined my ex moving moutains but giving up since she never finished what she starts 1
barky2 Posted September 24, 2013 Posted September 24, 2013 You want to push yourself to get to a point where you couldn't care less. Amazing things happen when you get there. Barky
Author flacss7410 Posted September 24, 2013 Author Posted September 24, 2013 follow this advice carefully..I didn't at first and this will work..if I follow it start pushing her away.
reddragon588 Posted September 24, 2013 Posted September 24, 2013 and this will work..if I follow it start pushing her away. It will either push her away or draw her closer to you. But continuing to talk to her will ONLY push her away.
Author flacss7410 Posted September 30, 2013 Author Posted September 30, 2013 So were on a break..I called her out on something her I heard about her doing (hanging with another guy) She flipped out sayin she is tired of me freaking out with every little thing she does. I never have done nothing wrong. You think she will regret this eventually? And try to make an attempt to come back.? I text her if she wanted us she never replied, so i said fine this is what you want its cool..Ill let you be..and havent said nothing since. Of course Im at that stage where I want it to work out.. thoughts appreciated, positive ones
lauri Posted September 30, 2013 Posted September 30, 2013 Hey man, Let her be. She has to start to miss you and you need to remain strong. However, if you are having trust issues with her is it worth continuing?
barky2 Posted September 30, 2013 Posted September 30, 2013 Noone has a magic ball to answer if she will come back or not. My suggestion,and I highly recommend you take it,is to pretend she is never coming back. Do not hold onto hope. If there's rumors she's hanging out with someone (who knows) it could be she did this break to see if it could work out with him. Why not go be single and go out and enjoy yourself with some of your boys? Theres alot worse that could happen to you,being single is a blessing. Let go man. Let go now. Barky 3
Chi townD Posted September 30, 2013 Posted September 30, 2013 Dude, you're on "a break" and she's hanging out with other guys. The writing is on the wall. You think you're on "a break" and she's in break up mode. Time to get on the same page. Taking a break= breaking up. Who idea was it to "take a break" anyway? 1
organizedchaos Posted September 30, 2013 Posted September 30, 2013 Dude, you're on "a break" and she's hanging out with other guys. The writing is on the wall. You think you're on "a break" and she's in break up mode. Time to get on the same page. Taking a break= breaking up. Who idea was it to "take a break" anyway? McDonalds with their whole "You deserve a break today" bs marketing slogan. Bastids!
Author flacss7410 Posted September 30, 2013 Author Posted September 30, 2013 Dude, you're on "a break" and she's hanging out with other guys. The writing is on the wall. You think you're on "a break" and she's in break up mode. Time to get on the same page. Taking a break= breaking up. Who idea was it to "take a break" anyway? It was her.. She just called telling me she was sorry for not calling back last night because she fell asleep(BS), that she is on her way home and that she will call me when she gets there. she said I love you..I said yea ok and hung up on her.. I want to work this out, but I cant have her walking on me at the same time..when she calls she said we gonna talk about this weekend, how do i treat it...I already know the story cause her friend snitched her(she doesnt know that).
Recommended Posts