Steven33 Posted September 30, 2013 Posted September 30, 2013 Guess I knew this day was coming, my GF decided its best if we break up for now as we are just hurting each other and ruining any possible chance there is of having a future together, been together 3years and 9months, left 3months ago to work on a cruise line, 6months left on her contract.....forgot what a terrible feeling it is to lose the one you truly love....
soccerrprp Posted September 30, 2013 Posted September 30, 2013 Guess I knew this day was coming, my GF decided its best if we break up for now as we are just hurting each other and ruining any possible chance there is of having a future together, been together 3years and 9months, left 3months ago to work on a cruise line, 6months left on her contract.....forgot what a terrible feeling it is to lose the one you truly love.... Sorry, but this is all about timing, right? Just not the right time for the two of you. With no prospect of seeing each other for such a long time, it is probably the best. I know that I couldn't do it. I'm in a LDR now and I see my lady-friend every month. Couldn't tolerate less. Wait until her contract is over and see what happens then. If you can wait, wait, but I'd move on.
ash88 Posted October 7, 2013 Posted October 7, 2013 Guess I knew this day was coming, my GF decided its best if we break up for now as we are just hurting each other and ruining any possible chance there is of having a future together, been together 3years and 9months, left 3months ago to work on a cruise line, 6months left on her contract.....forgot what a terrible feeling it is to lose the one you truly love.... Not to sound insensitive or anything..But really? after a 3 year long relationship she couldn't wait 6 more months for you? I could understand if the long distance was PERMANENT, Are you sure she not using this opportunity as a way out or break? ..Personally I would see this as a test of commitment. 2
soccerrprp Posted October 7, 2013 Posted October 7, 2013 Not to sound insensitive or anything..But really? after a 3 year long relationship she couldn't wait 6 more months for you? I could understand if the long distance was PERMANENT, Are you sure she not using this opportunity as a way out or break? ..Personally I would see this as a test of commitment. Kind of sounds like that, huh? I mean, after 3-years the gf decides to take a 6-month cruise line job that certainly means no contact, very limited communication. OP, you said that you were hurting each other. I think this was your gf's way out of the relationship all along. 1
Author Steven33 Posted October 7, 2013 Author Posted October 7, 2013 (edited) Hi guys, well when we started dating we both knew that she was going to study for 3 years and then go work on the cruiselines for 9months, studied beauty therapy ect and that's what she is doing now. So yea 3months in and she decided to break up...1st month of her been away was fine, we would email and Skype couple times a week....things started going pear shaped when this guy on the ship that works there told her he likes her....she said she was not interested ect...long story short, it came out that they watched movies together at night, 4 to 5nights, she would go lie in his bed or he in hers...single cabin beds....now im sorry that's not on when you in a relationship especially when he told her he likes her....so that's where the hurting started, I felt betrayed and upset. Was hard to trust her ect, I would not hear from her and yea it made me question her all the time ect...so kinda my fault too I guess....we talked about her going away for months in advance, promised eachother we would not do anything we wouldn't normally do when we in eachother's company on nights out ect...she said nothing happened but you cant tell me he didn't try with her those nights especially after he telling her that he likes her.... Edited October 7, 2013 by Steven33
Jar1308 Posted October 7, 2013 Posted October 7, 2013 Hey there, i am a singer who works on the ships (female). The whole thing is uch a bizarre environment. It is a false world where a lot of lying and cheating (as well as a lot of untrue rumors) fester. You make very close friend with people quickly and forget what the real world is like easily. There seems to be a whole different set of rules. Now, with your girl it is inevitable that someone would have liked her. We called them 'ship goggles' where id you spend enough time with no attention, you will end up finding thise around you attractive. The good thing is she was honest wih you. The unacceptable thing is that knowing this guy liked her and actively engaging in inviting him into her room. (Its difficult cuz yur cabin is your house really, but to a partner it will be seen as your bedroom). I can say you are brtter off without i she is not willing to wait. I would say she is caught up in the world of the ship and has lost touch with what matters. I met my boyfriend on a ship. We ha a month together before mu contract finishe. It has been long distance for the past year and a half and i see him when his ship docks, and i have been on for a couple of cruises. We have the strong understanding that we must be entirely truthful with one another. He had a very close female friend on there who goes and watches films. I have met her and i know i hve nothing to worry about at all. Howevr, last night they were ivernight in istanbul smoking shisha and she put a picture up of him holding it to his groin, throwing his head back (if you know what i mean) and her with her mouth around the other end of it. Imitating an intimate act. It was done in fun and they were all being silly... But i would appreciate a guys opinion on if this is distespectful towards me, because i was really hurt. If you have any questions about the ship situation ask cuz it might help you understand
Author Steven33 Posted October 8, 2013 Author Posted October 8, 2013 Hey there, i am a singer who works on the ships (female). The whole thing is uch a bizarre environment. It is a false world where a lot of lying and cheating (as well as a lot of untrue rumors) fester. You make very close friend with people quickly and forget what the real world is like easily. There seems to be a whole different set of rules. Now, with your girl it is inevitable that someone would have liked her. We called them 'ship goggles' where id you spend enough time with no attention, you will end up finding thise around you attractive. The good thing is she was honest wih you. The unacceptable thing is that knowing this guy liked her and actively engaging in inviting him into her room. (Its difficult cuz yur cabin is your house really, but to a partner it will be seen as your bedroom). I can say you are brtter off without i she is not willing to wait. I would say she is caught up in the world of the ship and has lost touch with what matters. I met my boyfriend on a ship. We ha a month together before mu contract finishe. It has been long distance for the past year and a half and i see him when his ship docks, and i have been on for a couple of cruises. We have the strong understanding that we must be entirely truthful with one another. He had a very close female friend on there who goes and watches films. I have met her and i know i hve nothing to worry about at all. Howevr, last night they were ivernight in istanbul smoking shisha and she put a picture up of him holding it to his groin, throwing his head back (if you know what i mean) and her with her mouth around the other end of it. Imitating an intimate act. It was done in fun and they were all being silly... But i would appreciate a guys opinion on if this is distespectful towards me, because i was really hurt. If you have any questions about the ship situation ask cuz it might help you understand Good Morning, thanx for post. My ex is beautiful and I get that she will get hit on, that's normal no matter where you are. Guess I was just upset that they shared a bed together after he told her he likes her....just find that a big no no.....I seem to agree with you that she is caught up in this shiplife and has totally forgotten what is real and what's not......I mean does she think when she gets back all will just go back to the way it was before she left? coz that's when I think reality is going to hit her hard.....With regards your BF, yes they were been silly, and fooling around, but still does not make it right. It starts with something small as a joke.....but it could escalate after that into something much more when they out partying one night, more flirting ect......she should also respect you and your relationship with your BF....I would also be hurt if I was you....and I am sure she would be too if it was the other way around.
Jar1308 Posted October 8, 2013 Posted October 8, 2013 You are right. It is unacceptable and she should have more respect for the fact this is hurtful to you. I can say from experience that it will hit home when she gets off the ship, and there is nothing that you can do to explain how you see it from your side until she is out of that environment. In my situation, I have spoken to this girl and she has been utterly apologetic and said she has been in my position and says its just a case of trying to realise its silly fun, otherwise you end up miserable, which is what is happening. She said she will try not to do anything that is disrespectful to me again....but the real problem as I am sure you will also feel is that you have no way of telling what they are doing, and i will never know whether they continue to act this way or not. It's a case of now deciding if this happens again if I am prepared to be in a relationship with someone who doesnt see this as a problem when we are apart (once again.....the weird ship environment seems to make people think they can act the way they like). Do you think you would consider taking her back when she gets off the ship, or will she get another contract and the same thing happen?
Author Steven33 Posted October 8, 2013 Author Posted October 8, 2013 I am glad you confronted her about it...I sure did confront this guy that got into bed with my girlfriend, he was also all apologetic and said they are just friends and I have no need to worry, he didn't think it would upset me...I told him that the Ship life might be some game to him ect, but there are peoples relationships and feeling s involved....asked him then to backoff and respect what we had ect......she has 6months left on her contract...doubt she will go again...really doubt it....Will I take her back? well not sure.....we were together for almost 4 years...there were neva problems before she left, its just the long distance that got the better of us....really hope it works out for you and that this does not happen again.......you sure don't deserve it!!!!
Jar1308 Posted October 8, 2013 Posted October 8, 2013 This girl had been in my exact position as well, and said she understood exactly how i felt and will do all the can to make sure she doesnt disrespect me again. Too damn right! I will never know, but one things for sure...this has really negatively affected how i feel about this relationship and i will just be watching very carefull from now on! Also good that you told him to back off. I dunno though....everyone that ive spoken to about this has made the same point that the girl (in my case) and the guy (in yours) are much less to blame then our partners were. The single people have no obligation to think of our feelings. But that should be the first thing on the mind of our partners. I hope everything works out and whether you get back together or not, that you are comfortable and happy. If you were just upset by the situation then it is best for now that you are not caught up in it, because its crap! All the best
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