sinuosity Posted September 30, 2013 Posted September 30, 2013 So my ex boyfriend and I broke up a month ago. We haven't talk since then, I sent him and e-mail but he totally ignored it. The thing is, he still remains friends with me on facebook and I couldn't delete him as well. He doesn't post anything, but he knows sometimes I end up posting photos, statuses and stuff like that. Could it be he's like "i'm not with you but i still want to control your life"? Should I erase him permanently? Thank you for your advice.
Philosoraptor Posted September 30, 2013 Posted September 30, 2013 Why can't you delete him? That's the only issue here. You can't control his actions but you can control your own. He's shown that he doesn't want you as part of his life so you should cut this connection by not only hitting delete, but blocking him as well. 4
Toddbt12y1 Posted September 30, 2013 Posted September 30, 2013 Delete him. Little to no point in keeping exes around on that cursed media outlet. Trouble is all you can expect. If he wants to control your actions any further: all the more reasons to delete him. 2
h0000 Posted September 30, 2013 Posted September 30, 2013 I would keep an ex on facebook unless he is harassing me. But doesn't necessarily mean I still care for them. And I wouldnt care if they delete me instead.
lauri Posted September 30, 2013 Posted September 30, 2013 I kept my ex on Facebook for a week. She started to post things to make me jealous and to lure me in to talk to her... and she broke up with me!!! I suggest to help you move on you should delete him and delete his number. It will be hard but its for your own benefit...you don't want to leave the possibility open of seeing something that will hurt you. 2
KCCK Posted September 30, 2013 Posted September 30, 2013 Let me be an example to you... i keep my ex as friend for a while after she dump me for another guy.. one week later, the picture of her and that guy appears on FB, I totally lost it and I shattered to pieces... I had to delete her in order for me to move on and heal.. Are you ready in case such things happen while you are in the process of healing? it is better to just delete and focus on yourself and your future.. 3
robbysurfs Posted September 30, 2013 Posted September 30, 2013 I had the same problem with just about everyone who has a ex. I actually deleted my fb acct. It really helped me to move on because I was constantly checking her page looking at her updates. Seriously it made me ill and this was in the beginning. If you had any real feelings like if your were the dumpee its gonna really start to hurt when you start to see him moving on. Out of sight out of mind... 2
reddragon588 Posted September 30, 2013 Posted September 30, 2013 Delete your ex. He has no right to have updates on your life. If he wanted to know what's going on in your life, he shouldn't have broke up with you. My real recovery didn't start until I deleted my ex from social media. 6
clementyne Posted September 30, 2013 Posted September 30, 2013 Delete your ex. He has no right to have updates on your life. If he wanted to know what's going on in your life, he shouldn't have broke up with you. My real recovery didn't start until I deleted my ex from social media. That's so true, about the "real" recovery not starting until you've taken the step to delete/block. I know it's affecting me, cause even though I'm doing NC, I'm guilty of still checking FB from time to time and it's given me nothing but pain. So until we've done that, we won't be able to heal properly. 1
lauri Posted September 30, 2013 Posted September 30, 2013 Delete your ex. He has no right to have updates on your life. If he wanted to know what's going on in your life, he shouldn't have broke up with you. My real recovery didn't start until I deleted my ex from social media. This ^^^. Remember, our ex's are selfish and want to do what is BEST for them. They don't care about us, they don't want us, so why should we even care about what they are doing? They don't deserve to know 1% of what is going on in your life. I honestly could careless if my ex is dating another guy (because I can't see it). I think if I saw it, my feelings would be different. But that is the beauty of NC, its the whole "out of sight, out of mind". Its the hardest step to take forward, but once you do it you won't regret it in the long run. 3
KatZee Posted September 30, 2013 Posted September 30, 2013 The day my most recent ex dumped me was the day I deleted and blocked him on my Facebook. We had a terrible breakup and I wanted nothing to do with him, I didn't want to see what he was doing. I even went the extra mile- deleted all of our pictures, legit went through my entire feed and erased all posts from him, statuses, and unfollowed all mutual friends so I wouldn't accidentally see something. 18 months later and he is still deleted and blocked and I would never entertain the thought of having him know anything about my life. I have an ex on my Facebook, but we dated in 2002/03. We didn't end on a bad note and we still catch up sometimes to this day. I have no problem with that ex. 3
a0009 Posted September 30, 2013 Posted September 30, 2013 (edited) You can be friends and what you do is go on their wall and under friends unselect both "show in newsfeed and get notifications". that will prevent you from seeing their posts on your newsfeed....If you are afraid to delete them, just deactivate your account temporarily until you are ready Edited September 30, 2013 by a0009
KCCK Posted October 1, 2013 Posted October 1, 2013 You can be friends and what you do is go on their wall and under friends unselect both "show in newsfeed and get notifications". that will prevent you from seeing their posts on your newsfeed....If you are afraid to delete them, just deactivate your account temporarily until you are ready Doesnt work... you will have the temptation to check on their profile...sometimes they still appear on chat or on mutual friends post either as "like" or "comment"... the best way is to just delete and move on... why must you deactivate your account and cut off from the world because of someone who no longer loves you? just delete/block them than open FB as usual and continue chatting with other friends.... 3
Art_Critic Posted October 1, 2013 Posted October 1, 2013 You should deleted him, it will make you feel better. FYI... to answer your subject question... no but... I have my step daughter from my previous marriage on my FB but not her Mom.
Omei Posted October 1, 2013 Posted October 1, 2013 No I would not, never have been a friend with an ex simply, its harder to heal and its not fair to your future relationships I really do not like the whole "So why are you talking to your ex?" drama.
mtnbiker3000 Posted October 1, 2013 Posted October 1, 2013 Just get Off of FB for a while. Totally non-sense for the most part anyway...
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