h0000 Posted September 30, 2013 Posted September 30, 2013 Personally I would not contact any of my ex. If they dump me, I certainly would not talk to them again. (My pride I guess?) If they contact me and I still want them, I will consider rekindle. If a man doesn't put effort in chasing what he wants(in your case contacting you because he really wants you), he is kind of a coward and isnt worth it. Especially in your case he dumped you, I am sure he knows he should initiate the contact if he wants you back. 1
Author crazybestie101 Posted September 30, 2013 Author Posted September 30, 2013 Personally I would not contact any of my ex. If they dump me, I certainly would not talk to them again. (My pride I guess?) If they contact me and I still want them, I will consider rekindle. If a man doesn't put effort in chasing what he wants(in your case contacting you because he really wants you), he is kind of a coward and isnt worth it. Especially in your case he dumped you, I am sure he knows he should initiate the contact if he wants you back. Wow , you again made me determined to stick to NC. I do agree with pride part. Somewhere i also feel that i love myself enough to let him contact me. But so much has happened now and amount of time has passed , with every passing moment it feels like i dont want to loose him completly on this EGO war. Also , something i forgot to mention back while we were still in touch , just to make me jelous he told me he is seeing other girls , so that i also told him that i am also going on date . It turned out that in reality we both lied to each other about it. Now i feel like he thinks that since i didnt message him , i would have moved on with this new guy . Oh lord!
h0000 Posted September 30, 2013 Posted September 30, 2013 Wow , you again made me determined to stick to NC. I do agree with pride part. Somewhere i also feel that i love myself enough to let him contact me. But so much has happened now and amount of time has passed , with every passing moment it feels like i dont want to loose him completly on this EGO war. Also , something i forgot to mention back while we were still in touch , just to make me jelous he told me he is seeing other girls , so that i also told him that i am also going on date . It turned out that in reality we both lied to each other about it. Now i feel like he thinks that since i didnt message him , i would have moved on with this new guy . Oh lord! OK think about this: maybe he was seeing someone, but it didnt last long(hence no trace on social websites) now would that make you feel like a second choice? Having said all that, if by tomorrow you still cant fight against the urge of contacting him, just go ahead because you will find excuses and regret not doing so. Dont waste your time on thinking. Nothing will come out of it.
Eddie007 Posted September 30, 2013 Posted September 30, 2013 You are not healing because you have NOT been going NC. Social media stalking is contact.
ConfusedHumanBeing Posted September 30, 2013 Posted September 30, 2013 Very easy: If he wanted to be with you, he would. Whats contacting going to solve? Nothing 5
hurts2death Posted September 30, 2013 Posted September 30, 2013 clean and clearVery easy: If he wanted to be with you, he would. Whats contacting going to solve? Nothing
reddragon588 Posted September 30, 2013 Posted September 30, 2013 I did try to speaking to other guy but again everything brought me back to my ex . After knowing him being single and all . I kinda became determined of contacting him Moving on isn't necessarily about finding someone else. It's more about being happy with yourself. I don't mean this in a rude way (the same is true of me!) but you sound very codependent. Like me, I would suggest learning how to be happy with what you have, whether you are single or in a relationship. Be in a relationship with yourself!! 3
Author crazybestie101 Posted September 30, 2013 Author Posted September 30, 2013 OK think about this: maybe he was seeing someone, but it didnt last long(hence no trace on social websites) now would that make you feel like a second choice? Having said all that, if by tomorrow you still cant fight against the urge of contacting him, just go ahead because you will find excuses and regret not doing so. Dont waste your time on thinking. Nothing will come out of it. Ok, now tell me what should i say. Help me. Dont want to say something which scare him away..
reddragon588 Posted September 30, 2013 Posted September 30, 2013 Ok, now tell me what should i say. Help me. Dont want to say something which scare him away.. I wouldn't say anything. What are you going to say that would make anything change? You need to change your view on this. Why are you chasing him? You are the prize and he is the one who screwed up. He needs to be chasing you, not the other way around. 1
ConfusedHumanBeing Posted September 30, 2013 Posted September 30, 2013 I wouldn't say anything. What are you going to say that would make anything change? You need to change your view on this. Why are you chasing him? You are the prize and he is the one who screwed up. He needs to be chasing you, not the other way around. Lol she won't listen. She is the "picking advice I want to hear" phase. Terrible decison, but i've guess we've all made them. 2
Author crazybestie101 Posted September 30, 2013 Author Posted September 30, 2013 Lol she won't listen. She is the "picking advice I want to hear" phase. Terrible decison, but i've guess we've all made them. Seems like you know me too well lol 2
Author crazybestie101 Posted September 30, 2013 Author Posted September 30, 2013 I wouldn't say anything. What are you going to say that would make anything change? You need to change your view on this. Why are you chasing him? You are the prize and he is the one who screwed up. He needs to be chasing you, not the other way around. I know, you are right. I guess i will just stick to NC then and let him be the one who contact me . Oh God, bless me with some patience. Gone through break up before same way , kinda got into that cycle . Dont know if i even be able to find love or die alone. I gave my ALL when i am in relation but still all this happens.. 1
reddragon588 Posted September 30, 2013 Posted September 30, 2013 I know, you are right. I guess i will just stick to NC then and let him be the one who contact me . Oh God, bless me with some patience. Gone through break up before same way , kinda got into that cycle . Dont know if i even be able to find love or die alone. I gave my ALL when i am in relation but still all this happens.. You're doing the right thing. He needs to come after you, not the other way around. You're the real prize here, don't forget that. He needs to prove to you that he deserves you, and he has to work to do that. If he's not willing to put in that work he doesn't deserve you plain and simple.
Author crazybestie101 Posted October 7, 2013 Author Posted October 7, 2013 You're doing the right thing. He needs to come after you, not the other way around. You're the real prize here, don't forget that. He needs to prove to you that he deserves you, and he has to work to do that. If he's not willing to put in that work he doesn't deserve you plain and simple. End of all this confusion , So i have tried my best to keep NC but people around me were succesful to change my mind . And guess what i just texted him. And you know what he responded quickly& nicely. And yes i didnt say anything about BU just normal.So lets see. And come on please stop hating and saying negative things about this now. Yes , i know ex's can be really mean but there are some cases where ex's act like humans& understand you at some point of time.In no mean i am dreaming about getting back together or any sorta. Also , i feel that NC did help here and there but in my case i already knew i can get his response if i reach out to him at right time.
Simon Phoenix Posted October 7, 2013 Posted October 7, 2013 End of all this confusion , So i have tried my best to keep NC but people around me were succesful to change my mind . And guess what i just texted him. And you know what he responded quickly& nicely. And yes i didnt say anything about BU just normal.So lets see. And come on please stop hating and saying negative things about this now. Yes , i know ex's can be really mean but there are some cases where ex's act like humans& understand you at some point of time.In no mean i am dreaming about getting back together or any sorta. Also , i feel that NC did help here and there but in my case i already knew i can get his response if i reach out to him at right time. You just bought yourself a crapload of confusion, doubt, and anguish with this move. 1
reddragon588 Posted October 7, 2013 Posted October 7, 2013 End of all this confusion , So i have tried my best to keep NC but people around me were succesful to change my mind . And guess what i just texted him. And you know what he responded quickly& nicely. And yes i didnt say anything about BU just normal.So lets see. And come on please stop hating and saying negative things about this now. Yes , i know ex's can be really mean but there are some cases where ex's act like humans& understand you at some point of time.In no mean i am dreaming about getting back together or any sorta. Also , i feel that NC did help here and there but in my case i already knew i can get his response if i reach out to him at right time. Excellent, glad to hear the view is good from the friend zone.
Fufu Posted October 7, 2013 Posted October 7, 2013 Its long and complicated story .. Recently , i found out that my ex lied to me about him dating other girls post break up. He made up stories ..I am VERY sure there is no girl in picture. Kinda also felt indirectly that he has realized his mistakes after i went NC.. Now he doesnt come online or log on to social media as he used to, Just busy in his work . I cant see him like that . I MISS him tooo like anything and i know he is waiting for me to message him. What is all thissss , i thought i could go on with NC but i guess i will soon drop out.. If you are using NC to get him back, then you have totally mistaken what NC is all about. 1
Fufu Posted October 7, 2013 Posted October 7, 2013 (edited) End of all this confusion , So i have tried my best to keep NC but people around me were succesful to change my mind . And guess what i just texted him. And you know what he responded quickly& nicely. And yes i didnt say anything about BU just normal.So lets see. And come on please stop hating and saying negative things about this now. Yes , i know ex's can be really mean but there are some cases where ex's act like humans& understand you at some point of time.In no mean i am dreaming about getting back together or any sorta. Also , i feel that NC did help here and there but in my case i already knew i can get his response if i reach out to him at right time. You will know that the members here will surely advice you against contacting your ex back and the utmost reason is that you have not heal emotionally. and now you have re-contact your ex and now he has responded quickly and nicely. So what did you text him and what did he reply? Also, are you thinking you guys will go back together? If he does, all of us will definitely wish you all the best. However, are you ready if he is not going to come back to you? Are you coming back here to rant again? P.S. By the way, generally for guys if they really want their girl back. They will take the initiative to make the first move and contact. Lying to you about having dating other girls post break up doesn't mean anything at all. Edited October 7, 2013 by Fufu 1
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