HorseLuck Posted September 30, 2013 Posted September 30, 2013 (edited) Based off of what I've read regarding relationships on this site, my relationship was what I would consider really good, issues aside. I mean, the issues felt minor in comparison to some of what I've read on here. I'm also a dumper and had regret since day 1. No shutting off of emotions for me.. I think I feel more like a dumpee. There was no cheating, no losing interest in one another..nothing horrid that I can think of. Worries and stress were the causes. I have the urge to go for a run but it's late and I'm out of shape/lack the energy. So instead I'd like to just converse, vent. What I'm about to say is just one side of the story of course, but if I do say so myself I was a really good girlfriend overall. Not trying to boast at all, but I've never given myself enough credit. A month is coming up. He isn't coming back. I should be accepting it. Haven't groveled or made a fool of myself (yet!). I think we both have more pride than that. I'm still living in the fantasy bubble that he will reach out. I feel so much anger and stupidity at myself for having my life revolve around this person. My obsessing has gone as far as checking the internet for certain keywords in the hopes he's posted somewhere about me so I can get an idea of what he's feeling or thinking. Now should be the ideal time to start focusing on my life as an individual, because ashamed as I am to admit it, I didn't really have a separate life and it's time to grow up. A lot of it is due to an anxiety disorder that manifested over the years. I came across this article and I think i'm struggling with this to a degree. It was interesting to say the least. Counseling Center » Addictive Relationships I'm wondering if I should delete his number? He was going to contact me in a couple of months to update me on school acceptance. Now I'm not so sure I want to know..I don't know how I would wish him well. A part of me feels cruel for possibly being unable to do that. I think he knows that the decision was best, he's looking out for me in a way.. but I thought I was worth a fight. Some reconsideration. I guess he's better off without me and knows there are girls who have more to offer. Also, I don't plan on another relationship for awhile because I can't deal with this sh*t again , but reading about all the testimonies on here regarding their mates cheating terrifies me! How would I ever be able to trust another guy? Surprisingly I haven't dated any deceitful jerks. But I'm afraid I just got lucky because I give off this vibe that makes me appear vulnerable and innocent. Just wanted to write, discuss, you guys can share your stories. I'd be happy to respond, listen to your suggestions, whatever. How are you reinforcing the reality of your situation, and any tips on obsessive thinking? Edited September 30, 2013 by HorseLuck
Sneaky Posted September 30, 2013 Posted September 30, 2013 I'm sorry if I misunderstood but you're the dumper? If so and you want to try again, why don't you just reach out? It's up to you to mend the relationship, not for him to keep chasing after already being rejected.
Author HorseLuck Posted September 30, 2013 Author Posted September 30, 2013 I'm sorry if I misunderstood but you're the dumper? If so and you want to try again, why don't you just reach out? It's up to you to mend the relationship, not for him to keep chasing after already being rejected. I had quickly after and he declined. Is it wrong to assume he'd have to make the initiative now? It's odd because the decision was kind of mutual.
Follower Posted September 30, 2013 Posted September 30, 2013 If you quickly asked him to re-try I'm not surprised he said no - I would have too. The ball is very much still firmly in your court, you can only ask again should he after a period of time stil lsay now its over and done with.
Author HorseLuck Posted September 30, 2013 Author Posted September 30, 2013 If you quickly asked him to re-try I'm not surprised he said no - I would have too. The ball is very much still firmly in your court, you can only ask again should he after a period of time stil lsay now its over and done with. You mean after a period of months? My hope (which I'm trying to rid of) is that he will want me back. He feels guilt as well about it ending and as mentioned in another post, was considering breaking up. I beat him to it. I just have a huge doubt that over time, he'll start to miss me.
Mr Scorpio Posted October 1, 2013 Posted October 1, 2013 Just wanted to write, discuss, you guys can share your stories. I'd be happy to respond, listen to your suggestions, whatever. How are you reinforcing the reality of your situation, and any tips on obsessive thinking? I am very familar with the obsessive thinking. The best suggestion I can offer is to have some thoughts of standby. When you catch yourself obsessing, consciously shift your thoughts to something else. Music works best for me, as I can picture the notes on the page in my head, along with the melody and hand-movements.
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