kwt Posted September 30, 2013 Posted September 30, 2013 My boyfriend broke up with me after dating for 8 months. He said "we are comfortable but it doesn't mean it's going anywhere" and said "I've been thinking for a few weeks and you are getting obsessed with the relationship." One month before the break up, we argued a bit. Its a bit long and here's what happened: He loves playing phone games and sometimes he could play with his phone for a long time when we were hanging out, leaving me there doing nothing. It's been going on for months but I never said anything about it. It was his birthday and I spent a lot of effort and time to plan it, but once we got back to his place after dinner, he immediately took out his phone and played with it for 2 hours, while I was sitting there dressed up nice and doing nothing. I felt a bit unappreciated. Next day, I told him maybe we should spend time with each other when hanging out instead of just him playing with his phone. A few days later on friday, once we sat down waiting for a table at a restaurant, he immediately took out his phone and looked at me and said "Well we are not talking." and opened his game. I was a bit annoyed since he obviously remembered what I said, and said something mean "how old are you? you could use the time you spent on phone games on doing sth more useful." He didnt say anything. The next morning, I realized I may have been a ***** and offended him so I apologized and he's like "so you admit you were a *****?" That weekend, I thought more about it and started feeling like he doesnt appreciate my accompany or effort that much, since we always met up at his neighborhood (he never liked going far away) and took me an hour to go there and sometimes instead of spending time with my family, I spent time with him nearly everytime he asked (he sometimes "jokingly" said "oh I need two gf then" when i told him i cant since i m seeing my family). I texted him that I wanna talk to him and he asked me to save the drama. But in the end I did when we met up again that weekend, since it really upset me and my friends said that I should. I told him that "I wasn't trying to lecture you about life. But I feel my effort in this relationship is not appreciated when I come all the way to spend time together and you play with your phone." he got mad and said "why are you telling me this? I told you not to talk about it. You don;t have to come, you can just leave. I do what I want. Maybe you should not date. this is not fun. you've ruined my weekend." I didn't talk back since I don't want a fight. so I just said "I am not talking about it again." After a few seconds of silence, he turned on the TV and asked me to pick a movie. The following two weeks, everything seemed normal. He took the initiation, asked me out and texted me.We never talked about it again. But then two more weeks later (1 month after the argument), he became distant and broke up with me. I really felt like I mess up
monkeymaid Posted September 30, 2013 Posted September 30, 2013 Im sorry your hurting right now. That guy honestly sounds like a douche. Try not to beat yourself up. You didnt do anything wrong. Some guys know how to keep control in a relationship and this guy did just that. He belittled you and started taking you on a rollercoaster ride so that he could keep control. There is no way that you will see it right now, but he doesnt want a relationship, he wants a servant. I did that when I was in my early 20s and refused to let go of any of my freedoms. I really hurt some girls because of it, and feel regret about it now. Dont put up with that ****. Cry if you need to, yell or scream too, and stay busy. I am sorry you are feeling the hurt, but it eventually goes away. ....eventually
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