SOB86 Posted September 30, 2013 Posted September 30, 2013 I wrote a long post ten minutes ago but some how I got logged out and lost the whole damn thing. Such is my luck, so here is a condensed version of what I wanted to say. -Girls love confidence, I know this, but I find it difficult to project it even when I mentally, feel confident. -I've upgraded myself in various ways. Wearing more expensive clothes from Express, the Buckle, American Eagle, etc. Cutting my hair and beard to match the style of a male model I saw on a poster. Lifting weights to bulk up and I've been tanning. I'm a roofer so just by going to work I've become slimmer and darker. -The problem is I'm introverted. I like reading books, playing video games, and it doesn't bother me to go to restaurants and bars alone. This makes me look like a creeper I think. -Female friends of mine say I look really good, but they all have boyfriends or are married so it's hard to tell if they are sincere. -Lately I've tried being upfront and bold with women. If I see a girl in any given situation I'll ask them how their day is going, maybe make some small talk, insert a compliment, (your glasses look cute on you) for example, then I'll ask for their number. Hasn't worked once so far. Some girls said they would date me if they weren't already with someone. Not sure if they mean it or are letting me down lightly. Other girls seem to recoil as if I had asked them to get into the trunk of my car. I'm a big muscular guy so I wonder if I intimidate some of these girls. I have some belly fat but that shouldn't be a problem. I see plenty of fugly guys with cute girls so it must be my presentation. That's what's so frustrating, I don't know what exactly I'm doing wrong. Maybe I haven't met the right girl, maybe I just put out that desperate creeper vibe and amount of grooming or showmanship can change it. That's a worst case scenario of course but I just feel like giving up. At this point I don't even care about the sex. I just want someone to love me. I know how desperate and pathetic that sounds. I've dated girls that were below my league, but then I get chastised by my friends as they tell me that I can do 'so much better'. So far, I'm not sure I can.
Polak Posted September 30, 2013 Posted September 30, 2013 Everyone wants to be loved. Every human being has that basic desire. It's not desperate and pathetic until you make a show out of how miserable you are, repeatedly. Remember that no matter how good-looking or confident you may be, you must be completely happy with yourself first before you will start attracting the women you want (I'm assuming the ones you want are those who will actually love you w/ a commitment instead of a few one-night stands). I have been told many times that girls sense desperation a mile away. It's definitely not a big deal to have increased your appearance levels and upgraded your clothing style, but just remember, as you display your confidence towards these women, have an "I-don't-care" attitude about whether you succeed or not with them. The sooner you lose the pressure of that, you will not only feel loads better about how you go about talking to them, but you will have more fun and no doubt have better luck.
coolheadal Posted September 30, 2013 Posted September 30, 2013 Try online dating works for a lot of guys and girls. In-person is very hard for some today. If you weren't popular in high school or college then going to be the same way in the real world. You sound like you a nice guy but women might be put back by you. Your appearance does count today. These women don't know what they want, but your have J.O.B and have money. So that's a start. I would try looking in other towns or cities where you are. Try stop doing the same stuff you normally do also. Everyone falls into the same routine, got to change it. I see you have cleaned up yourself and got fancy digs, but that's not enough today. Even if you had purchased a new sport car and drive around in that still not going to get the right girl for you. Those girls are more plastic than real. First get away from all these married, already have boyfriend women and start going to areas where the single women are. Start jogging in the park or go and do something you never done prior. For you online dating where you take your picture post it same some words of wisdom and do a questionnaire to see who you match-up with around the world or just local. You got to start somewhere, but what your doing isn't working for you now. Got to think IN THE NOW! Be very positive and have the intent to know what you seek and keep that in your mind at all times. Focus is the key and you shall find what you seek. Going to take some time, it might just happen or just never know. I wish you the best of luck. Keep use here informed on your progress.
Author SOB86 Posted September 30, 2013 Author Posted September 30, 2013 That's where I run into trouble, asking a girl out with the I don't care attitude. I might give online dating a try but I don't know anyone personally who's done it successfully.
skydiveaddict Posted September 30, 2013 Posted September 30, 2013 At this point I don't even care about the sex. I just want someone to love me. I know how desperate and pathetic that sounds. you're taking it too seriously. girls can sense that. next time, just go out to have fun with the girl you've asked out. you can do it. take her skydiving. then a few drinks and a nice dinner. that's a sure winner. it aint that difficult.
fallenheart Posted October 1, 2013 Posted October 1, 2013 Remember that no matter how good-looking or confident you may be, you must be completely happy with yourself first before you will start attracting the women you want Ignore that bull****e. Nobody is completely happy with themself. And most of the people on this planet still manage to find someone willing to be with them.
El Brujo Posted October 1, 2013 Posted October 1, 2013 Yeah, I'm single and it's my fault... for being male in the US.
hppr Posted October 1, 2013 Posted October 1, 2013 You're picking out the wrong ones. Learn how to discern if a girl is attracted to you or not, the short version is that she'll be looking at you, sometimes they'll do a double take, they'll laugh, smile when they see you/talk to you. They will also ask about your personal life - job, family, hobbies - because they want to get to know you. Honestly I'm surprised you haven't gotten any numbers, I'd like to see a pic of you and then a description of the kinds of girls you've gone for and failed with. I have a sneaking suspicion that you are selling yourself short but I want confirmation first.
jacksonvillae Posted October 3, 2013 Posted October 3, 2013 It's never too late to find love. Don't give up
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