berkeley1987 Posted September 29, 2013 Posted September 29, 2013 i want to regain trust and try to reconcile. right now we are not on speaking terms. we both have had harsh words for each other, and i feel i've pushed her away. she says she can't trust me because i'm a liar. why should i get back with you if you lack trust, loyalty, and honesty. long story short: -she was jealous of my friends who are girls, says i'm not loyal. -i told a pointless white lie, about a bed for crying out loud, labels me a liar. -say's i'm dishonest because i lied. i want to contact her and prove myself, but how do i do so?
Crashandburn Posted September 30, 2013 Posted September 30, 2013 (edited) [i want to regain trust and try to reconcile..... long story short: -i told a pointless white lie, about a bed for crying out loud, labels me a liar.] It looks like you still are not quite sorry for your actions. "crying out loud" and "Labels" definitely shows this. So start with thinking about how she must feel first. If you really want to reconcile don't be defensive about your actions but apologize for not seeing it from her perspective. Think about how she might have been hurt by your actions and tell her that you had absolutely no intentions of hurting her but realize that regardless of your intentions you have and you are sorry. You must believe that this is a mis-understanding to be feeling this way but don't make her feel stupid for feeling hurt. Also, about having girls that are friends, ask her what you can do to make her feel more secure because that is what you want. Tell her to tell you every time she feels that way to better understand her. (this one is difficult since I don't know the dynamics but most girls just want security and assurance that these girls mean nothing) Furthermore, most people get mad about lies because they are scared to trust you after even a "white lie". Although you see why you should be trusted they are now scared to. Try going beyond all of this and make sure she knows you can be trusted, try to be like an open book for her. I would try to see her in person, skype or facetime if you are doing this. If that won't work for any reason, send her a card with flowers or something. Show her you are sorry and that it wasn't meant to hurt her. Be genuine and wear your heart on your sleeve. It seems like she doesn't hate you for this just hurt and if she truly cares about you she will always have hope that you will come around. Good luck to you. Edited September 30, 2013 by Crashandburn quote is off
Simon Phoenix Posted September 30, 2013 Posted September 30, 2013 Let her come to terms with all of this on her own. You are still trying to manipulate her. Stay No Contact and work on yourself. Time will do you more favors than anything you say or do, because everything you try fails.
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