brittneyfoster Posted September 29, 2013 Posted September 29, 2013 My friend and I had breakfast the other morning, and I was able to ask some more questions that I think have kind of placed he and I into a new frame of how we feel about one another. I finally asked him what his deal was, and was he married. He told me, which I accept for truth until I find out differently. He said she was his baby's mother, and he said that they still "kick it" or "hang out". He said he wasn't sure how my relationship was with my daughter's dad, but they still tried to do the family thing for the baby a couple times out of the week. He said that because he's in the military and never knows when he'll have to go away or when he'll see his daughter, he tries to monopolize the time he spends with her. He said that neither of them really know what they want or if they want anything from one another. Then he tell me that he really enjoys me and wants to continue to allow things to progress slowly between me and him if that's what I want. He says, "Well, you can take it for what it's worth but I showed my family your picture as the new girl that I am interested in and talking to. I just want to allow things to progress into something with us." Then he began to touch on something that I have heard before, which is that he has seen my pictures on Instagram where I'm hanging out with my male friends or going out to dinner with my guy friends(gay males). When he met me, I was out with a bunch of my guy friends from HS. He said "I'm not really sure sometimes how you feel about me or what you're thinking about an "US" because you're always amongst so many guys. I don't feel comfortable asking or getting in your business because we aren't in a relationship or anything" and I said "You're right, we aren't. Those guys are either my long time friends from HS or they are gay. I have guys friends. I have other guys that I talk to, but I am interested in one person, which is you. However, I felt like you had some baggage, and I don't allow myself to get attached to people with baggage. It doesn't make for a happy heart" I also told him that he seemed unavailable, which is why I suspected him of being married. He asked me, "So do you want me to become more available for you?" and I told, "No, I'd like for you to do whatever it is that you are comfortable doing". He never said anything else after that, but it's been two days, and I definitely have noticed a change in him and more communication from him. 1) Should I give this guy a try? 2) Why are females with PLATONIC male friends such an issue or intimidation factor? No, I haven't slept or dated any of them. I do have female friends, but maybe only two or three.
SincereOnlineGuy Posted September 30, 2013 Posted September 30, 2013 2) Why are females with PLATONIC male friends such an issue or intimidation factor? Because every guy knows that the guys are only hovering nearby because they are interested in more... Your own outlook/position on the friendships is distantly secondary to that clear understanding.
piggyoink Posted September 30, 2013 Posted September 30, 2013 Because every guy knows that the guys are only hovering nearby because they are interested in more... Your own outlook/position on the friendships is distantly secondary to that clear understanding. Generalising - definition of Generalising by the Free Online Dictionary, Thesaurus and Encyclopedia.
BikerAccnt Posted September 30, 2013 Posted September 30, 2013 Generalising - definition of Generalising by the Free Online Dictionary, Thesaurus and Encyclopedia. It's a pretty fair generalization though. There's a reason generalizations came into being.
coolheadal Posted September 30, 2013 Posted September 30, 2013 My GF has guy friends it's okay for most. Some guys just don't like the fact you have guy friends more of ego trip. They just want you to be either with them or with GF only. Why should you give up your longtime friends for a guy like this who's still married and won't do anything for you. Why are you even bothering with him too. This is just plain nonsense. Can you do better a BIG YES! Keep your friends and move on and stop talking with this guy just negative still married so it's THE WIFE, HIM (ANY KIDS) AND YOU! Is this how you want to live knowing this for the rest of your life! You can go right a head just fooling yourself and nothing good going to ever come out it PERIOD!
todreaminblue Posted September 30, 2013 Posted September 30, 2013 i have guy friends always have had guy friends i have two very close female friends whom i would give my left lung for........actually theres a lot of people i would give my left lung for....... th eway i deal with having guy friends and if i were to get into a relationship with a guy is to immerse that guy in with them, i wouldn't hide the fact i am dating or who i was seeing or hwo i had an itnerest in i actually make it crystal clear.....and my guy friends would have to accept that or they arent what i class as friends ......i have had guy friends fade away when i am in a relationship....and i am not dumb i figure out then they werent really friends.....my exes know when i am interested in someone and yep friends with them too if any of my male friends disrespected the guy i was going out with they will do it only once........and thats it.......most of my guy friends are guys i just talk to who tell me their problems or dreams or hopes and i give encouragement as far as talking about me goes they dont really know me.....and its an ever rotating circle my girlfriends are constants ...they normally fade out because i deal with things before they happen i let them know i am not looking and sex sucks(well it does with the wrong person).......in fact i tell them i am planning on becoming a nun and raise llamas...that gets rid of a few..but as far as a guy goes i do understand why guys dotn liek to hav egirlfrriends with lots of male friends.......they do try things if you let them that is just fact so you deal with it before it happens.....deb
crederer Posted September 30, 2013 Posted September 30, 2013 How old are you? Any guy that says "kick it" with a straight face loses my respect. Only Vanilla Ice can say that and get away with it.
Author brittneyfoster Posted September 30, 2013 Author Posted September 30, 2013 My GF has guy friends it's okay for most. Some guys just don't like the fact you have guy friends more of ego trip. They just want you to be either with them or with GF only. Why should you give up your longtime friends for a guy like this who's still married and won't do anything for you. Why are you even bothering with him too. This is just plain nonsense. Can you do better a BIG YES! Keep your friends and move on and stop talking with this guy just negative still married so it's THE WIFE, HIM (ANY KIDS) AND YOU! Is this how you want to live knowing this for the rest of your life! You can go right a head just fooling yourself and nothing good going to ever come out it PERIOD! I asked him that as well if he was married. He told me that he is not married and that she is just his daughter's mom. I didn't ask once...but more like three times. If he was living with her, if they were married, or dating or anything...he said no to all of them. -shrugs-
Author brittneyfoster Posted September 30, 2013 Author Posted September 30, 2013 i have guy friends always have had guy friends i have two very close female friends whom i would give my left lung for........actually theres a lot of people i would give my left lung for....... th eway i deal with having guy friends and if i were to get into a relationship with a guy is to immerse that guy in with them, i wouldn't hide the fact i am dating or who i was seeing or hwo i had an itnerest in i actually make it crystal clear.....and my guy friends would have to accept that or they arent what i class as friends ......i have had guy friends fade away when i am in a relationship....and i am not dumb i figure out then they werent really friends.....my exes know when i am interested in someone and yep friends with them too if any of my male friends disrespected the guy i was going out with they will do it only once........and thats it.......most of my guy friends are guys i just talk to who tell me their problems or dreams or hopes and i give encouragement as far as talking about me goes they dont really know me.....and its an ever rotating circle my girlfriends are constants ...they normally fade out because i deal with things before they happen i let them know i am not looking and sex sucks(well it does with the wrong person).......in fact i tell them i am planning on becoming a nun and raise llamas...that gets rid of a few..but as far as a guy goes i do understand why guys dotn liek to hav egirlfrriends with lots of male friends.......they do try things if you let them that is just fact so you deal with it before it happens.....deb Yeah, none of my guy friends have ever tried me in that fashion. In fact, they tell me I'm one of the guys and come to me for advice on other females. It definitely doesn't bother me at all...prefer it that way actually.
Author brittneyfoster Posted September 30, 2013 Author Posted September 30, 2013 How old are you? Any guy that says "kick it" with a straight face loses my respect. Only Vanilla Ice can say that and get away with it. :lmao::lmao: I'm 25...he's 31. When he said that, I did internally laugh for several reasons!! LMBO!
SincereOnlineGuy Posted September 30, 2013 Posted September 30, 2013 LOL - this isn't about women testifying that they somehow manage through life merely having guy friends (without those women awakening one day with an uncontrollable urge to get #*@ked, only to begin dialing that list of guy friends to see who is available in the moment). This is about males only having considerable interest in mere friendship with women (out beyond the family, workplace, or neighborhood) in cases where those guys would prefer that they were banging those women. So a woman testifying that she has 3000 guy friends, and manages not to take any one of them up on the fact that they want to f**k her, means nothing with regard to debunking the reality which exists all around her. One need only look at Pinterest to figure this out.
piggyoink Posted September 30, 2013 Posted September 30, 2013 Yeah, none of my guy friends have ever tried me in that fashion. In fact, they tell me I'm one of the guys and come to me for advice on other females. It definitely doesn't bother me at all...prefer it that way actually. Exactly. This is definitely a plus 1 moment
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