littlelady28 Posted September 29, 2013 Posted September 29, 2013 (edited) Hi, I'm new to this site but I've been drowning my friends in relationship stuff and I think they're getting sick of it. Here's the down and dirty of my LDR We met through mutual friends at the end of summer 2013. We started dating almost immediately, even though I knew that he would be leaving from NC to MD to live with his father for a while to start an apprenticeship with the company his dad works for in DC in two weeks. We fell for one another quickly and spent a lot of time together I met his mom before he left for MD and it was great. I was surprised at the frequency we continued to talk, long phone calls, texting, Skype for hours. In September he asked me to be his gf, he came to visit often and I went up there as much as I could. We have spent lots of time with one another's families and friends even going on family vacations. He has a dog he refers to me as the mother of, we've been as I see it.. madly in love and rarely ever fought. We had an open dialogue months ago about how we needed to be proactive about him moving out of his parent's house to find a place so I could go up there after graduation, and we had both been searching for jobs for me up there, but it didn't work out. It was a long time ago but I did say at one point that things probably wouldn't work out if I had to move home, an hour further from one another than we had been. But when reality hit I figured if I took any job I could get at the time then I could at least help save up the money we'd need to get a place together and make money to continue traveling to him. So I ended up taking a job at home. We both work about the same hours, but we're so tired by time we get home and I almost always bring home work, we're both taking additional classes and hardly get to really talk anymore. I think the stress of that got to him two weeks ago, because he started acting standoffish and ultimately ended things with me over the phone, talking a lot about the stress and how it isn't working anymore, we barely get to speak and we're both too busy for a LDR. But just two weeks before we were together for Labor Day and looking forward to me coming up to celebrate my birthday. He broke up with me, over the phone which really bummed me out. He makes it so confusing because he still calls me to chat every once in a while and he still tells me how much he cares and loves me. We have planned to meet up when he comes to his mom's place in NC next weekend because he still a lot of my things and we need to really end things in person. I really want to convince him to re-think things and see what we can do to make it work because I still love him and think that we could work it out. I am going to bring the journal I have been keeping of our relationship. It's a gift he got me for Christmas where I have been recording important events and pictures. He hasn't seen it since Valentine's Day.. I'm also thinking about giving him a copy of my schedule and showing him we can work one another into our lives. Is there anything else you think I can say, do, maybe even wear on that day to kind of get him thinking about starting back up? I'm up for any suggestions! Thanks. Edited September 29, 2013 by littlelady28 confusing
soccerrprp Posted September 30, 2013 Posted September 30, 2013 So, how many hours drive are you from him? He became frustrated b/c the frequency of your meetings declined, right? Anyway, you sound like you have a good plan as is. Let him "see" that it can work out if he wants it to. There are plenty of people having LDR that are even further away. I know that finances are tight, but your plan really is the best plan. Wear something that reminds him of why and how he became attracted to you. Perhaps a dress or outfit he has commented on. LDR are tough. I'm in one now and see my gf every month for a few days at a time. It works for us as we're not in NEED of being with one another constantly. We both enjoy our time, but believe me, we'd rather not be over 1000+ miles away from one another. Keep to the positives and think about what concerns he'll bring up and best prepare to give him a positive response to them. That's all you can do. Good luck.
Author littlelady28 Posted October 1, 2013 Author Posted October 1, 2013 The drive now is about 5 and a half hours for me, it usually takes long for him since he has to drive through DC/Va traffic coming from work on Fridays. Those are all things I plan to do, thanks for the advice! I really think just general life stresses have gotten him down and he's forgotten about how great things can be.
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