Johnsmith100 Posted September 29, 2013 Posted September 29, 2013 I'd had a connection and been friends with a girl for 10 years that had not been single the whole time. (4 years from 14 to 18 years old...a week of being single...7 years with a new guy until now). We'd always been "better than friends" in her words as well as mine and after not talking for 2 years due to me living away I had a message from her and we started talking again. Her boyfriend had cheated a few times and she took him back. We ended up speaking 24/7 long distance...she'd call whenever he was out etc. Whenever I was home we'd spend as much time together and starting sleeping with each other etc. Going away again was so painful for both of us. Long story short she found out he'd cheated on her again and I was there to keep her strong enough to break the hold and walk away. She'd always said she wanted us and never felt anything like this before with anyone. Basically her feelings changed and now she wants to be single...(Which she never has been so I wouldn't expect anything different from a young girl) She's drinking too much...acting totally different and is fine hardly talking to me anymore. She says she wants to want us so much but her head won't let her. She's also said she could possibly realise what she's missing and come back. I expect her to want to chill out, enjoy the single life of a young person that she's never had. She says I know her better than her ex (of 7 years) and I'm the only person she remotely opens up to. She keeps everything bottled up and says I'm the only person that actually knows how messed up she is at the moment. Basically do you guys think she'll come back once she gets over this need for freedom or do you think that's it now for both of us? I'm trying to go NC but it's difficult. My phone never ever stopped buzzing for 8 months and now nothing. I'd love somebody's input if they've been through anything similar. She knows we've been best friends for years and has said she knows she'll not get better than me! Thanks guys
melell Posted September 29, 2013 Posted September 29, 2013 I hate to say it, but you were her emotional cushion. I promise you she loved her cheating ex, that is why she took him back. And now she is getting over him, they were together a long time. You made that easier for her. She may or may not be interested in you in the future, but I wouldn't bank on it. This is a really sucky position for you to be in- the reality of it isn't good at all. My advice, forget about her.
Author Johnsmith100 Posted September 29, 2013 Author Posted September 29, 2013 (edited) I totally understand this. The only thing is they had bought a house together and at the time he moved out. He's moved back in and told her there's no way he'll leave until it's sold. He's giving her hell every minute of every day and she's chosen not to lean on me anymore as she said it's not fair. It's been one of these things that goes away...but ALWAYS comes back and ALWAYS gets intense again, I mean we just have such a laugh and bounce off each other so well. I think that whoever it was in my position would not have had her commitment when she split with him as she needs the freedom, she needs to live without restraint for a bit. I'm 75% sure she'll come back at some point when the dust settles and the house is sold etc. For the 8 months we saw each other she would initiate just as much as me. She woke up at 7am every morning to call me for 5 hours until she had work and when she was out of the country and her phone didn't work...she had to get her mum to phone her service provider...fix her phone just because it's been 2 days since we'd spoken. Yes she did love him, he's broken her and I feel like she's incapable of emotion at the moment...everything is bottled up and I can't imagine her trusting anybody again...except myself. Only time will tell but I really can't imagine it not coming back again like it always has done. She's a beautiful girl and will surely love all of the new attention she's getting. I'm not too bad myself and she told me at one stage she'd never been so physically attracted to anybody before. I'm also man enough to admit that I did things wrong. I tried to force it, I became clingy and maybe wanted too much too soon. She was getting so much grief from her ex and then maybe at times I added to that and it all became too much for her. I feel so responsible for her and know how vulnerable she is...but maybe it's time to start putting myself first Edited September 29, 2013 by Johnsmith100
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