steveT95 Posted September 29, 2013 Posted September 29, 2013 So last week I started talking to this girl that I've known for a long time but we hadn't spoke for about 3 years before last week. We started arranging to meet up and she seemed really keen and was making decisions. We arranged it for this weekend but she had to cancel because I friend was coming over. The last time we had a proper conversation was last sunday, it's been hard to have a conversation with her since. We only talk over facebook and she isn't on much. She was texting me a lot last night, I think she was drunk though. Her and her friend were texting me in the morning but nothing that made sense. I messaged her about an hour ago saying: 'Good evening last night then?' and she just replied 'Yup thanks.' She seemed keen last week, the last time she discussed it she said she would know when we could do it when she got her work rota. Do I pursue this or just let it go? I think she got her work rota yesterday.
Atem Posted September 29, 2013 Posted September 29, 2013 she's not into you unless you want to be her ongoing "Plan B" (which would require you to detach yourself from all emotions for her and make her your ongoing "Plan B" as well which, as I sense, will not be possible for you) so, let it go
Author steveT95 Posted September 29, 2013 Author Posted September 29, 2013 She is my "Plan B" I just have more contact with her than my Plan A at the moment. Maybe an ultimatum is needed? just a 'when do you get you rota? Can you let me know if you still want to do this so I can make plans'
Atem Posted September 29, 2013 Posted September 29, 2013 I see - if that's the case, sry I didnt get that While I'm strongly against ultimatums (because they always backfire), I agree with your approach (which is not an ultimatum, by the way). Just ask her "hey, what's up. Still want to meet?" and see how she reacts. If she responds positively and even suggests a date, then go on and see where it goes (if she then flakes again, drop her for good). If she tries to string you along or doesn't respond at all, let her go right away. Nothing wrong with being direct like that - just make sure you do NOT come across as annoyed. Make it sound as nonchalant as possible (which is why keeping it brief works best)
Author steveT95 Posted September 29, 2013 Author Posted September 29, 2013 Since I've already messaged her tonight, shall I leave it until tomorrow, or just get it over and done with?
candie13 Posted September 29, 2013 Posted September 29, 2013 Don't message her the next two - three days. Then, don't allow her to make the decisions, unless you're fine to be waiting around. I hate waiting. Be subtile, but firm, worse comes to worst, she'll say she's busy again. That would be a rejection, btw . Drop her a casual text on Wed, smth like: hey, how's things, busy busy? Let me know if you're up for a cup of coffee tomorrow or the day after tomorrow. cheers".
Author steveT95 Posted September 29, 2013 Author Posted September 29, 2013 Ooh I like the sound of that plan. I will do that and if she's still not interested.. BAM dropped!
candie13 Posted September 29, 2013 Posted September 29, 2013 Chasing a woman is fine, great even. Just make sure to not appear to eager, women like to wonder about the real level of a guy's interest. Be patient & set up other plans with other people in the mean time. Cheers
Atem Posted September 29, 2013 Posted September 29, 2013 Chasing a woman is fine, great even. Just make sure to not appear to eager, women like to wonder about the real level of a guy's interest. Be patient & set up other plans with other people in the mean time. Cheers Nah. the "chase" has to be mutual. if only the guy does the chasing it's called "stringing the guy along"...
candie13 Posted September 29, 2013 Posted September 29, 2013 Lol, absolutely disagree. Take it from a woman: persistence & flattery will get you anywhere. But you gotta be smart about how you act, not predictable. Up to any man to give up when they feel it's not worth it. But... At least start the chase, ya know what I mean ?
Atem Posted September 29, 2013 Posted September 29, 2013 Lol, absolutely disagree. Take it from a woman: persistence & flattery will get you anywhere. But you gotta be smart about how you act, not predictable. Up to any man to give up when they feel it's not worth it. But... At least start the chase, ya know what I mean ? Start the chase as in "ask her out" - that's it. any woman that thinks that a guy has to prove himself to her while she does nothing of that sort in return is to be discarded - preferably after ****ing her brains out and leaving her to hunger for more I have 0 tolerance for this flattery bullcrap. Take it from a guy who has women pushing him for sex (and not the other way around) - respect yourself and NEVER EVER allow a woman to put herself above you in a relationship. Once these things go into power struggle mode, they're as good as lost. The moment a guy starts "chasing" as in courting, he's lost. PS: there is no "giving up" lovely. There has to be VISIBLE mutual interest that compounds. If there is none, there's nothing to give up on, so the guy who stops calling such a girl hasnt lost anything to begin with
Author steveT95 Posted September 29, 2013 Author Posted September 29, 2013 I think it's all about keeping a back-bone. If a guy is constantly chasing then he's already lost before the relationship has begun. But the girl does have to chase a bit as well. It shouldn't be a power play, it should be a tease. I personally have no interest in women that play hard to get. Jeez, I'm not that confident!
Ajax Posted September 29, 2013 Posted September 29, 2013 She sounds disinterested, so if I were in your shoes I wouldn't chase. I'd let her make the next contact, especially since she was pretty short with her response to asking her about her night. Someone interested would have said a lot more than, "yup thanks." Cut your losses. 1
Author steveT95 Posted September 30, 2013 Author Posted September 30, 2013 Oh sheeeeit! So I've just realised that the day after talking to her on facebook I posted a status saying how life had improved by a billion percent (Because I'm a teen from this crappy generation) and maybe she thought it was about her and got scared off. Do I correct her?
Atem Posted September 30, 2013 Posted September 30, 2013 Oh sheeeeit! So I've just realised that the day after talking to her on facebook I posted a status saying how life had improved by a billion percent (Because I'm a teen from this crappy generation) and maybe she thought it was about her and got scared off. Do I correct her? Stop overthinking things. wait 1-2 days. ping her again. depending on her response - act 1
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